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The Struggles of Dieting

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The Struggles of Dieting

Postby Dolly » Sat Feb 04, 2006 6:45 pm

What the Diet Says ...

1/2 grapefruit
black coffee
1 piece dry toast
1 sm. glass skim milk

1 lettuce leaf
2 tomato slices
2 oz. broiled chicken
4 carrot sticks
1 whole wheat roll with 1 tsp reduced-calorie butter
1 cup red jello

1/2 cup salad
1 tsp low fat Italian dressing
4 oz. hamburger patty
2 1/2 slices canned pear
1/4 cup cottage cheese
slice wheat bread

also--8 glasses of water

What You Really Eat ...

8 a.m. Breakfast
You skip breakfast. You're not hungry, and this gives you an extra 100 calories for the day.

10 a.m.
You decide to have that black coffee as you see the doughnuts being brought into the office. You drink your first glass of water, proudly resisting the doughnuts.

11 a.m.You are hungry and have a hard time concentrating on your work. You look forward to lunch.

12 p.m. LunchYou hungrily eat everything on your diet, including the jello, which you have hated since you were a child because of that time when you got your tonsils taken out and they gave you jello at every meal.

1 p.m.You drink your second glass of water for the day.

1:30 p.m.
You drink your 3rd and 4th glass of water for the day.

2 p.m.You drink your 5th and 6th glass of water for the day. You marvel at how a person can be hungry and nauseous at the same time. Your co-worker has popcorn at her desk and you smell it but are too sick to even want any. She offers you some and you decline, telling her how little you've eaten today and how the smell of the popcorn doesn't even tempt you. She is impressed.

3 p.m.
You are hungry. You know that another co-worker has chocolate on her desk and there is an open invitation to take some. You do, after all, have an extra 100 calories for the day. You restrict yourself to one piece of candy, proud of your willpower. You are still 50 calories ahead.

3:30 p.m.
You are still hungry. Your mind wanders. You remember the Tic Tacs in your desk -- only 2 calories apiece. You eat two. 46 calories left.

3:45 p.m.
You eat two more Tic Tacs. 42 calories left.

4 p.m.
You eat the rest of the pack of Tic Tacs. You are in the negative, but optimistic. You'll skip the pear at dinner.

5 p.m.
You are famished. You drink the last 2 glasses of water to get you through to dinnertime.

5:30 p.m.You arrive home. A bag of crisps is blocking the way to the pasta that you will be using to make the family dinner. After thinking twice about it you rip open the package and eat one crisp.

5:35You eat one more crisp.

6:30 p.m.
You eat the rest of the package of crisps, 6 tablespoons of pasta as you cook it, and then have a big tub of Haagen Daz. You tell the family that you are doing too well on your diet to ruin it with dinner. They are impressed.
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Postby Maraver » Sun Feb 05, 2006 5:21 am

Ohhhhhhhhhhh so true
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Postby Fairie » Sun Feb 05, 2006 11:34 am

Loved that Dolly, I'm sure we all have days like that. :)

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Postby Dolly » Sun May 20, 2007 11:46 am

Thought this was funny and you might appreciate it. Have a great day!


In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the
Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's
Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You
want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as
you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.
And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep
the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth
white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and
combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast
on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and
olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep
fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went
through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel
Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate
cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might
lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so
Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And
Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light
and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful
skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried
them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer
calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said,
"You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And
super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went
into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMO's
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sun May 20, 2007 1:33 pm

haha funny! i think im a bit of an angel and a devil- gotta take the good with the bad sometimes ;)
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Postby Fairie » Sun Jun 03, 2007 6:36 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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