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Newbie here who is feeling very lame indeed

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Newbie here who is feeling very lame indeed

Postby isolated » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:34 pm

Hello all

I will start by telling you about myself first as im not sure how im supposed to become a member here lol. I am female, 23yrs old and i have been carrying about double the weight i should be for the last 3-4yrs. I have 2 kids aged nearly 7 and the other turned 5 recently. I have been in the same relationship since i was 16.

Ive always carried a little extra weight but just before i met my OH i had lost weight and was looking the best i ever had, but 3mths after i met my OH and moved in with him i fell pregnant and my weight has just gone up and up and UP AND UP until im seriously not joking when i say i have to lose about half my current bodyweight :(

Ive never been on a 'diet' of any sort and i do work everyday on a farm which gives me about 4hrs of constant exercise everyday, but a few months ago i had been working 12hr days and my weight was dropping off and it was great, until the boss sold the farm and i had to just find what was going.

I have no excuse for my weight except that i eat too much and dont move my ass, i eat contantly when im home and even on the way to work ill run into the servo and grab a choccy or something. I find when i do start to lose some weight i crave chocolate like a drug addiction, its like my body just doesnt want to lose any weight

I have dreams of when i was 16 and had just begun to get on top of everything, my body and image, my friends and life etc, it was the best few months of my life, and i find my mind is still at age 16 because i left school a month after i turned 16 and got pregnant 3mths later, by age 18 i had 2 kids. I lost touch with all my friends and i cant stand my OH's family, i moved towns so im not close to my mum either. I dont have anyone i could call a good friend and its been like this for 7 nearly 8yrs

Im discovering lately now im over 21 life is going way too fast!! I never thought id get older quick enough but now i want it to SLOW DOWN !!!! And im sitting here thinking i have just wasted my life being grossly obese and introverted and isolated and before i know it ill be 30 then 40 and im still going to be fat and a recluse because im so ashamed, just so ashamed of myself and im embarressed for my OH as well, he gets invited to work get togethers and i wont go because i dont want his workmates to see what he has censored with... he does call me fat when we are fighting but other times he tells me not to be embarressed but if i were him i would be

I dont have any drive or motivation in me, im just so lazy and stupid, i live in bushland so i can exercise whenever i want, god knows my dogs would LOVE it!! But i just sleep til lunchtime when i can then go to work, get home in the dark and have tea, then more tea, then dessert and a midnight snack, and sit on my butt and watch tv and more tv, what a life for someone to spend from 16 to nearly 24, i have a person who ive been talking to for nearly 2yrs that has said she wants to come down and spend some time here with us and i am panicking because ive never told her how fat i am and i just dont want her to come and see who shes been talking to for so long, im going to have to make up some huge excuse as to why she cant come when she does ask, shes in to pubs and socialising every day and atm i could think of nothing worse or more embarressing, if i was at my ideal weight i would be living life like i should have been instead of wasting it

As well as i live out of town and cant access a Weight Watchers either because i am still working when they are on once a week, also i really couldnt afford it anyway

Sorry for the big whinge i have never been able to say what i feel, i could go on and on but ill stop here :oops:
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Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:05 pm

Re: Newbie here who is feeling very lame indeed

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:54 pm

Hi there isolated and welcome to the forum! Congratulations you have just become a member :D

Sounds like you are really feeling down on yourself. Many people on here can identify with that feeling, so don't feel alone. It can be hard to get started, especially when you have to overcome those nasty thoughts, and if you have a big goal then it can seem overwhelming. The advice I would give is to just start small. Maybe just start by not doing anything yet, just keep a diary of exactly what you do each day. Then make it your goal to change 1 single thing, maybe not have a biscuit with every cup of tea, or change to low fat milk, or exercise for 10 min per day. Then when that becomes habit, change something else, or increase what you started with.

If you start with small goals, it will break that big goal down into manageable chunks and you can celebrate your small victories which helps keep you motivated.

Again, welcome to the forum, we're here to support you, so if you have any questions, ask away!
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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