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Hi everyone... I am a recovering bulimic who is overweight

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Hi everyone... I am a recovering bulimic who is overweight

Postby Lexie » Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:52 pm

My name is Lexie and I am from Queensland, Australia. I am a recovering Bulimic. I am overweight, but I have lost alot recently due to my eating disorder. I joined a pro-anorexia site and lost complete control over my eating habbits. It was the worst mistake of my life joining that site. I became a totaly different person whilst being taught how to embrace an eating disorder. The people on these pro sites are in total denyal about their ED's and/or their actions. I was taught all the tips and tricks of how to become anorexic or bulimic, and their still vivid in my mind today. I learnt how to become mia (bulimic) and began to throw up towards 4 times a day. I would eat noting all day ( and if I did, even and apple, I would throw it up) and only eat 3-4 bites of dinner, then proceed to throw that up also. This disorder took me over like a drug addiction. In fact, it was an addiction and I am still fighting the temptations today. My boyfriend caught me one day and he has helped me ever scince to try and recover. If he didn't catch me, I don't know what would have happened to me. I didn't think anyone would know I was doing it cus I was overweight and I kept thinking; "A fat girl can't be bulimic"... how wrong and stupid I was. I thought that because I was fat, I didn't have bulimia. Strange way of thinking! I lost a whopping 10 kilos in 1 month and the consequences of my actions means I have a decresed metabolism and put on weight when I eat healthly (normal) very easy. I went from 90 kg to 80kg from my ED and I tell everyone know, DO NOT TRY TO LOSE WEIGHT THIS WAY. Its to painfull and it doesn't always work, turst me!!! I am currenlt 77kg I lost 3kg eating normaly and excercising but it took a missive 4 months to lose that 3 kg, and thats because of my bulimia. I have many stories to tell about what I have been through, but I think I wil save them for another time. I have joined this website to share my experinces with you all and to try to seek help to lose weight and become HEALTHY!!! I refuse to become a growing satistic and I am sick and tyred of being overweight. I have many scars hidden from the world in regards to what being 'fat' has done to me emotionaly. I hope you all can find what you are looking for in life, and please take care of yourself. please message me anytime to talk.
Height: 164 cm
HW: 90kg
CW: 64kg

GW1: 75 kg
GW2: 70 kg
GW3: 65 kg
GOAL WEIGHT: 60 kg

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Postby winglets » Wed Apr 26, 2006 6:26 pm

Hey Lexie.
Its sad to hear about your previous experiences but great to see that you've made a healthy choice as to how to cope with your weight loss. I am convinced it is a healthy, balanced approach to food and life that is the most effective ways to lose weight. Diets that mean no carbs, or no something else end up depriving us of a healthy outlook on life when we can no longer keep up that way of eating. I've struggled with my weight all my life. I spent early high school over weight and then basically maintained my weight and grew height wise so i sort of stretched out. I was a normal weight for about year, but I always felt like my parents wanted me to lose more weight. Everything was always about losing weight. So when I left home i piled it on, because I didn't have a healty outlook on food. I never was allowed to eat chocolate or lollies or anything like that, so when i could eat it, I ate too much. I guess, we all make mistakes and that makes us stronger people to continue with the rest of our lives. Its great that you are sharing your experiences because it helps other people not to make the same mistakes. I'm sure you're going to do great with your weight loss now and I hope that we can all provide the support you need to continue with it!!

I know that was a very round about way to get to my point but what can I say, I love to talk!

Take care and talk to you soon,
Lizzie
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Wed Apr 26, 2006 6:47 pm

Hi Lexie,
Welcome to the site. It's fantastic that you have been able to catch your eating disorder and start to turn it around and it's also fantastic that your boyfriend had the grit and determination to stick by you through it. Well done on chosing to go the healthy way to weight loss, hopefully this site will help you to do that as it is very informative and supportive. Given that you are still having those temptations to purge, please always be honest about those temptations so that you don't fall into that secretive behaviour again!!! And be sure to check in with your doctor to be sure your body image is realistic as I know eating disorders are often associated with an unrealistic body-image.
Hope to see you in the forums!
Cheers,
Tegan
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby KimE » Wed Apr 26, 2006 6:59 pm

Hello Lexie and welcome to the forum.

Thank you for sharing your story here as I it is never an easy thing to do. You sound like you are getting things straightened out and it is great that your boyfriend is helping you as support from our loved ones can go a long way.

Good luck on your weight loss journey.

PS. you have opened my eyes as I didn't realise there was such a thing as pro anorexia. Something definitely to avoid.
Kim - To thine own self be true
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Maintainence since 04/11/06
Preferred Weight - Under 60 kgs
Current Weight - 64.8 kgs
Start Weight - 85 kgs
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Postby Dolly » Wed Apr 26, 2006 7:20 pm

Hi Lexie, I'm so glad your boyfriend managed to stop you in time from stripping your body of essential nutrients that are needed to keep you alive and free from disease.

Click Here - http://www.weightloss.com.au/articles/w ... rders.html

Anytime you want to talk we will be here to listen.

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Postby Lexie » Thu Apr 27, 2006 10:09 am

Thank-you all so much for your replys. I am glad to have found a site with so man people on it just like me. Yes, I am very greatfull for my boyfriends help and determination to pull me through this!

Winglets when you said "I never was allowed to eat chocolate or lollies or anything like that, so when i could eat it, I ate too much."
I can totaly relate to that. My mum would never let us eat lollies or chocolate at home so when I did get hold of it out of home, I would gourge on it liek crazy!

And Butterfly_Dawn, you hit the nail on the head about being carefull not to fall back into "secretive behaviour" again. Thats exactly what having and ED is!! An excellent choice of words....


Thank-you all once again, and feel free to PM me anytime if you want to chat!!!
Height: 164 cm
HW: 90kg
CW: 64kg

GW1: 75 kg
GW2: 70 kg
GW3: 65 kg
GOAL WEIGHT: 60 kg

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Location: Queensland, Australia

Postby Hayley » Thu Apr 27, 2006 11:06 am

Hi Lexie, welcome to the site - we will all make you feel very welcome, that's for sure!

You've taken the first and hardest steps of admitting you had a problem, talking about it to others and asking for support - well done. I can totally realte to what you have been through and what you are still going through.

I was anorexic for about 2 years during high school, and I wasted away. I'm 5 foot 10 and a 1/2 and when I entered my first year of uni I weighed 50-51kg! My boyfriend at the time (my husband now), was incredibly supportive and helped me through this. I have now put on a huge amount of weight, especially since having my son nearly 3 years ago and I am trying to make a healthy change to my det and exercise. I admit that I still have time where I think "oh, I'll just stop eating for a while and lose some weight and then start eating properly again" but I always talk to my husband when I feel like this and he supports me through those times. I have thought many times about making myself sick to lose weight and again, I talk to my husband. It is scary how it can consume your every thought and deep down when I think really carefully about it, I know that it's not the right way to lose weight, but it is a mental issue that I deal with every week.

I have found the people on this forum so incredibly supportive and I know you will too. I am now into day 3 of the Tony Ferguson diet and I am doing this with the support of Dolly and Hayley D, who also started the diet at the same time.

If ever you feel you need to talk, someone is always here to listen. Congratulations for sharing your story with others and best wishes with your exercise and healthy eating lifestyle.

Hayley xxx :D
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Postby Groovychic » Fri Apr 28, 2006 10:02 am

Hi Lexie.......you are to be commended on recognising that you have an ED. And you are very lucky to have your boyfriend supporting you. I think a lot of women who do have an ED don't have any support and I really don't think you could over come a disease like this without having support. I think a lot of women have had thoughts in their heads such as I'll not eat anything and hopefully lose weight, or I'll just vomit this meal up after enjoying it. I know I have certainly thought about vomitting. Except I can't stand vomitting!!! It's always stopped me. And I guess because deep down we know it's wrong as well. As for the pro-anorexia site, well they should be banned. If you get young girls looking to shed a few kilos and they find sites like that they are going to be in all sorts of trouble. Most of these girls don't need to lose weight.

I totally relate to gorging on junk food as well. When I was young and living at home we weren't allowed any junk food either and I would go stupid when I got the chance. I remember staying at my aunts place for a night while mum and dad went out. I would have been about 10 and we could have ice cream. I ate about 3 bowls of it and then proceeded to vomit it up again that night. My stomach couldn't handle it. It was that ice cream with the 3 colours. Trio I think it's called, the green, orange and vanilla 1. I've never been able to even buy a tub of that since! And I am nearly 34 now! My parents were on the pritikin diet because my grandfather had died of bowel cancer and so my mother panicked and decided that we better go on the pritikin diet. We were never an overweight family at all, and then going on that we all ended up sticks. My aunt still remembers how thin I was when the family was on that diet. And we were on it for about 5 years I think! And it wasn't that mum bought junk food prior to the diet either. She never bought ice cream or anything. So of course when I moved out of home at 18, every night's dinner was usually something from the freezer and a shopping trip consisted of lots of crap. And the weight came on a little but wasn't too bad because I was young. But the habits became very permanent and I really only changed them slightly for the better over the years. And this is why I am finding it extremely difficult now. Plus I do buy treats for the kids and they are tempting. there are freddos in the fridge calling my name even as I type!!!! So I am hoping that the kids don't have the same problems as me when they are older. They eat a balance of very healthy fruits and veg and naughty junk food. They are allowed one thing each day, such as a freddo, or a few biscuits or whatever. And I make them eat a carrot or apple or banana or whatever fruit there is before they have something junk. I watched them the other day up the back in the vege garden eating cherry tomatoes and capsicums. They just pick capsicums like they are an apple off a tree and munch into it! They are like their father there. When he was a kid he could always be found in the vege garden. There is a great photo of him sitting with half a watermelon on his lap and eating it out of the skin with a spoon. Like it was a bowl!!! The kids do the same thing now!

So we all know what we should do to lose weight. It's just really hard to actually do it most of the time. And I think that is where a site like this is invaluable. We can be inspired by other people. Right I have gone on and on and on so I am going to get off this page right now!!! I do hope to hear more from you Lexie and hope your fight with the demons gets a little easier soon.
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