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Teenager needing this.

Postby Missyperson » Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:48 pm

Hello :)

I'm 17 years old at the moment, and for far too long, I've been overweight. I've hit over 100kgs and now I refuse to stand on a scale - be it alone or with someone else there... I just don't want to see a number that will break me.

Every other aspect of my life is near perfect - well at least to me. I did well in school, have a great support network and I'm the girl that everyone looks to for advice. The problem is, I think I've managed to control every aspect of my life because I can't control my weight.

I've tried extreme diets where I'll lose weight, and then gain double what I lost in a matter of two weeks.

I'm starting university next year, and although I don't feel the way I look... I just want to be in a healthy weight range.

I know I need the support of people who understand where I'm coming from. Coming form a family of pretty much no other "big girls" it's really hard to keep motivated, because as soon as I start exercising with the intent to lose weight, I get the sarcastic comments. I'll have people telling me I'm tall, so I should be a lot thinner, that I'll never get there... and so I guess I loose all motivation.

I really want this... so yeah. I guess that's all. :)

Can't wait to hear from you guys.

Thanks
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Re: Teenager needing this.

Postby electrongirl » Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:36 pm

The good thing is that you have made the first step and are seeking support and advice.

I can sympathise with about being the only big girl in the family. All of my family are tiny little things and I feel HUGE compared to them. My mother is always mentioning my weight.

You will find alot of support here. The best advise I can give is to record your food, up your exercise and use some form of program.

Calorie King is free and a great way to track your food.
Nikki - Aussie girl living in the USA with her soul mate. My blog: http://aus2usa.blogspot.com/

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Re: Teenager needing this.

Postby mumnbub » Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:38 pm

Hi Welcome to the forum. Basically we are here for the same reasons- to get healthy, so we will support you along the way in any way you need- just ask :)
I know what its like to have family that does not support you- my mother would always just snicker and say "I'll believe it when I see it" she could not believe I could have the motivation to lose anything. So far I have lost 15kg- its the best revenge :) I love telling her now how much I have lost, i get a real enjoyment out of it.

Have you set yourself mini goals? It feels so great when you reach a goal, you become so much more motivated to reach the next one. If your only looking at the final mark then it can seem to far away and you become discouraged.

You will do great I am sure. Good luck and keep us posted
Start weight: 98kg April 2008
22/12/08- 80.7kg
29/12/08- 81.8kg
04/01/09- 81.6kg
12/01/09- 81kg
19/01/09- 80kg
09/02/09- 79.3kg
Next goal 75kg

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Re: Teenager needing this.

Postby ali76 » Sun Dec 14, 2008 5:24 pm

Hi Missyperson!

You've definately come to the right place for support and motivation. All I can add to the other girls comments is make sure you're doing this for you - doing it for other people won't work!

You're at such a great stage of your life, starting Uni is sooooo much fun and you make lifelong friends so make sure you enjoy every moment of it.

How tall are you hun? Do you know how much you want to lose? What are your plans of attack? Have you thought about how to go about it?

If you have any quetions, just yell out - we're an opinionated lot :P

Good luck
xo
SW - 75.9
CW - 68
Happy weight - 68 (I MADE IT!!!)
GW - 65 (for now - and until I conceive!)
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Re: Teenager needing this.

Postby Dreamer82 » Mon Dec 15, 2008 10:29 pm

Hi Missyperson!

I guess the hardest part is getting started. I have been where you are before, I was once over 100kilos! No matter what people call you or tell you to lose weight you'll only do it when you are ready to!

It took me till after uni... actually finishing my course to do something about it and when I got started, I started to see my hard work was paying off.... Losing 1 kilo...2,3,4,5,6 etc and it just keeps you going and it makes such a difference!

Good Luckkkkk : o )
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Re: Teenager needing this.

Postby Mandie » Tue Dec 16, 2008 10:42 pm

PM FOR MISSY-----

(Tried to send this via PM Missy - but it isn't working! so posting here.. sorry everyone, it's long!)

Hi there "Missyperson".. might just call you "Missy" if that's okay? :)

Man, I totally know how you feel. I was in your situation 8 years ago - I was 17, the biggest girl in my school - well over 100kgs and afraid to go near scales. I had great grades, got into what I wanted at uni (medicine), had lots of friends, got along well with my family.. everything was fab. But on the inside.. I was SO unhappy. I was petrified of free dress days - all my friends would wear miniskirts or midriff tops and I would be wearing daggy old lady clothes.. I loved swimming - in my own pool - but was too embarrassed to wear my bathers at school, so I used to make up excuses to get out of swimming class. I dreaded the formals (a time that a teenage girl is supposed to look forward to!) because it was awful finding something to wear... I still hate my photos from then!

Unfortunately, I spent the next four years in denial.. I joined a gym at one point with a friend, lost 10kg over a few months just by exercising heaps.. but then the gym membership lapsed, and I gained it all back. I had fun at uni, making friends, going to parties - I used to get really drunk to avoid feeling uncomfortable around all the pretty skinny girls wearing next to nothing. We had lots of costume parties - lots of excuses for girls to wear very little - and I had to try and cover up as much as possible - it was awful! When I think of how much I limited myself...

I also had very little self respect.. I told myself that no guy would ever want me, because I was fat and ugly, and therefore worthless. Never mind my intelligence, kindness, sparkling wit... I assumed that because of my looks, I would never have a boyfriend, and never get married. To cover, I used to joke with all my friends and talk about my "high standards" being the reason why I'd never had a boyfriend - truth was, no-one had ever asked me. I used to get drunk and then crack onto any guy I saw.. if he showed interest, I'd do whatever he wanted.. kissing, buying him drinks, doing drugs, even one night stands... I had NO self respect at all and told myself that I didn't deserve to be happy. I convinced myself that so few boys would ever want to kiss me or sleep with me, so I had better do it with anybody who did seem like they wanted to. Of course.. I just started hating myself more.

Gradually.. I started feeling like maybe there could be something more to my life. I was 20 years old, and acting like it was all over. But was it? I took a pretty big step - I went to see my GP, and I told her I wanted to lose weight. She referred me to a dietician and weighed me then and there. I was nearly sick - I had ballooned out to almost 140kg! I was wearing size 20-22 tops and size 24-26 bottoms. I was larger than anybody I knew. Blood tests proved that there was no "glandular problem" to blame - only myself and a lifetime of poor eating habits, and no exercise. I went to the dietician appointment not really knowing what to expect. I had a good education session - she told me how skipping breakfast was causing my metabolism to slow down, and that because I was so hungry, I would eat too much for morning tea/lunch. She told me that my calcium intake was minimal, and there have been studies done linking low calcium to weight gain. I learned SO much. After that first session, I started drinking "Up & Go" drinks for breakfast every day - got calcium, and got some nutrients in, no matter how rushed I was in the morning (you can drink them in the car/bus etc). I also kept a food diary, and saw the dietician fortnightly.

In a couple of months, I had lost 10kg, and I felt awesome. I was going for daily walks, I had renewed energy - I remember going to a picnic with friends and actually participating in a footy game, running around with everyone else - it was incredible for the girl who always sat by the sidelines. I had my 21st birthday, wearing my new size 22 jeans, and felt damn fabulous. I even got my hair straightened for the first time! I stopped having one night stands, stopped doing drugs, and stopped drinking to oblivion.. I became.. happy!

I made an important decision - best decision of my life - and deferred uni for a year to go travelling. I had lost a total of 20kg by this point and was wearing size 16 tops, and size 18-22 bottoms (depending on the brand). I felt confident - and even pretty! I wasn't a size 8, but it turns out you don't need to be a size 8 to be happy...I travelled in Europe and spent a lot of time in Ireland. I dated heaps when I was there - no one night stands - and even had my first long term relationship (6 months). Turned out that people a) thought I was gorgeous and sexy the way I was - that has a LOT to do with being confident! and b) also liked all that other stuff I thought wasn't relevant - the kindness, intelligence, and sparkling wit :P

It's two years on and I've stuck around the same weight (110kg) for a while. I met an awesome guy, finished uni, moved in with the guy, started working as a doctor. Living with a boy and eating boy-sized portions of meals, and stopping exercise hasn't agreed with me too well - I've put a bit of weight back on and I'm fluctuating between 115-120kg. I'm just now starting to buckle down and take this seriously again - time to lose the rest of the weight.

That was a novel! Sorry :) Just wanted to tell you a bit about me so you know where I'm coming from. I'm not perfect, I don't have all the answers - I don't know how to lose 50kg in 6 weeks or anything like that. I just know that the most important factor in this - the MOST important factor - is learning to love yourself, and gaining confidence in yourself. No more "punishing" your body with lettuce diets or cabbage soup. No more "bad" foods and no more punishment with exercise. Think to yourself "I deserve to be healthy" rather than "I'm a fat censored and I need to be thin else I should just die". Think of skipping morning tea cakes as kindness to your body, rather than a punishment. Think of that extra walk to the shops, or taking the stairs, as an extra bonus you can give your body.

Start slowly. Start with very small goals. Why not try keeping a food diary? Write down what you eat every day for a week. Have a look at it.. were there binges? Were there things you maybe shouldn't have eaten so much of? What were you feeling when you ate it? Were you tired/stressed/bored/happy/sad/frustrated/angry/actually hungry? Just keeping tabs on yourself can do wonders. Maybe start drinking some more water the week after. Try a tall glass of water before a meal, or when you feel like snacking - wait ten minutes, and see if you are still hungry before indulging. Eat slower - enjoy your food, and listen to your body - stop when you're full, not when it hurts. Start putting in some incidental exercise - get off the bus a stop later, walk to the shops, take the stairs - anything to get going!

You can build up every week and see how you go :)

Ohh.. that is WAY too much writing. I'm just going to stop here. For any more advice, or a chat, feel free to pm me again, or e-mail me at [email protected]. You're probably better off asking specific questions, because I tend to ramble :oops:

Best of luck! Chat soon.. hang in there, you are NOT alone!

Mandie :)
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Re: Teenager needing this.

Postby mumnbub » Wed Dec 17, 2008 11:20 am

Hi Mandi- you have come a long way! I am so glad to hear you made a change before it was too late. i felt the same for many years, thinking i had nothing to offer men as i was overweight- so i took what i could get. my self esteem was so low that i even stayed in a relationship with a guy who made me feel worthless- but unlike you i did not stop when i should have, i ended up pregnant but it was a good thing for me as i was given a push in the right direction. I am changing my life because i want to be a perfect mum.

I have learnt you dont have to be skinny to be beautiful, its whats on the inside that really counts.
Start weight: 98kg April 2008
22/12/08- 80.7kg
29/12/08- 81.8kg
04/01/09- 81.6kg
12/01/09- 81kg
19/01/09- 80kg
09/02/09- 79.3kg
Next goal 75kg

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Re: Teenager needing this.

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Wed Dec 17, 2008 11:47 am

GREAT post Mandi. While I think it's a bugger when the PMs aren't working I'm glad you shared that with us all! :D

Missy, the most important thing is not to blame yourself. Obviously you're clever and dedicated enough for all other parts of your life, so if your weight is an issue it's not because of a lack of will-power. While you may not have an obviously medical cause for gaining weight there is very likely to be a physical predisposition to gaining weight that means it's harder for you to keep weight off. Not your fault at all.

Mandi's right. Get yourself to a good GP! They'll be able to examine your lifestyle and give you all the available options for weight loss. And I strongly recommend reading the book "You: On a diet" (link to official site). It's by Dr Oz and Dr Roizen and rather than looking at weight loss from a guilt/moral/will-power point of view as most diet books do, it looks at it as a medical issue.

Good luck!
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Re: Teenager needing this.

Postby electrongirl » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:52 am

Hey Mandi,

Just so you know, PM's won't work if you have " marks in them.

I have NO idea why but I learnt this the hard way. I did let Scott know about it back when it happened to me, but it may still be a problem.
Nikki - Aussie girl living in the USA with her soul mate. My blog: http://aus2usa.blogspot.com/

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Re: Teenager needing this.

Postby Czarina » Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:55 am

What an amazing post Mandie! I know all of us can relate to at least one of the things you felt/went through back then...I thought I would die as an old maid with thirty cats, but after twenty-two years of being virtually a boy-free-zone, I found a wonderful partner who loves me for me(even when I gained thrity kilos)...though we still might end up with the cats! :lol:

Missy, I think it is wonderful that you are ready to do something about your weight now. Up until last year I was putting myself through punishing diet after punishing diet and it wasn't healthy, not to mention they didn't work! A lot of us here know what it is like to step on the scales and see triple figures (myself included) and while it is devastating at the time, often it is the wake-up call that we need. You are not going to lose all of the weight by the time Uni begins, but that is reality and we need what a resonable goal is, so we don't get discouraged when we don't reach these unrealistic benchmarks and give up. Slow and steady wins the race, lose it the healthy way and you will find it a lot easier to keep off. It might be a good idea to check out http://www.calorieking.com.au, it is a great website which will tell you how much and what kind of foods to eat for your height, weight, etc, to lose weight at a healthy .5kg to 1kg a week. It has been my saviour and I know a lot of other ladies here are CK fans too!

Don't listen to people who tell you that you can't do it. When I started exercising earlier this year (at over 100kg), I had some idiot scream at me out of a car window, saying something I won't repeat here, when I was on a walk. It bothered me for a little while, but then I knew it doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks, I am doing a good thing for myself and will get there in the end. It's close to a year later now and I've lost nearly 25kg. If I can do it, anyone can! :D

Good luck Missy! :D
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Re: Teenager needing this.

Postby LoveJoey » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:17 pm

Goodluck and lots of love missy! All the beautiful posts just nearly made me cry, you girls are too lovely!!!!! :D
Tassie girl, 30 years old, 172cms

Starting weight (August 1st 2008)-85kg
Previous weight (December 9th 2008)-76kg
Current weight (December 16th)-74.5kg
Goal weight-65kg
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