I've just started following your progress, you sound like such a sweet girl and although I'm a perfect stranger I just want to give you a big hug! I'm a bit worried for you
people have been too harsh in some of their comments, in my opinion in your thread, but maybe it's helped you. But I feel I need to add that weight loss should never "save a relationship" or really even make you happy, it should in my opinion, be used primarily to make you healthy and increase your well being and quality or standard of life. I get that being happy is a byproduct but I hear so much of what you are saying in what I used to say."I'll just finish school and I'll be happy, I'll just get a boyfriend, and I'll be happy, I'll just finish uni and I''ll be happy, I'll get get married and I'll be happy, I'll get my dream job and I'll be happy, I'll just lose weight and I'll be happy. I must have said it 20 times with 20 different milestones (which I have all achieved) yet my happiness level is just the same. Then I had this epiphany, it's not actually a milestone, its me! It's inside me already, its a way of thinking and feeling. I'm no doctor, but I have also suffered from depression and the things you describe, loss of enjoyment in activities, not hanging out with friends, not doing the things you enjoy, low sex-drive, these are classic signs of depression (as electrongirl said) and it may help to talk to a doctor as well *wonders*. On another side note, I also have family in the defense force and understand the upheaval it makes in your life when you move to a different city and how lonely you can get when your partner is way (my cousin is deployed at the moment somewhere). My other cousin was heavily involved as a volunteer in defense families and they can be a wonderful network of support. I know you aren't feeling confident due to your size but please, forget that, take advantage of the wonderful support network defense families have because that's what they are there for and loneliness is one of the worst things in the world. Geez *prods everyone to see if you are all awake* On the weight loss front, it's a tricky business, there is lots of support and guidance here so good luck with your goals. You said in one of your posts that you used to be a dancer, that is a great form of exercise, can you tap into your expertise there and get back into dancing for exercise? Best wishes with everything and good luck.