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I too stuggle with my weight please help....

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I too stuggle with my weight please help....

Postby GayleMarie » Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:15 pm

Hello Everyone I too struggle with my weight. I am 39 years old. I have been marriade for 19 years.. I have 3 children...a son who is nearly 18, and a daughter who is 3 years old & a baby girl who is 9 months old. My 2 girls are mine & my husbands little miracle as after having Joel (our son, who we also adore) it took 14 years of me trying, to fall pregnant again, then along came our beautiful girls. I tell you all this so you have an insight into my life. When I got marriade I was 20 years old & 55 kilo's, a few months later I fell pregnant with Joel & put on 31 kilo through out the pregnancy. Went from 55 kilo's to 86kilo. After having Joel I fell to 76 Kilo's, Being so young I went to weight watches & got to 64kilo very quickly, But from then until now my weight has yo yoed through out the years. When I fell pregnant with Bethany my first little girl I was 76 kilo's & got to 98 while pregnant, got back down to 84kilos, my weight went up but not down from there. I fell Pregnant with Chloe & got to 98 kilo's had Chloe & hardly lost any....I am now 95kilos & it will not budge. I am only 5 foot 2...159cm. I try so hard to be happy & enjoy my life & give my kids & great happy life with a happy mum, but inside I am so ashamed. I feel repulsive. My husband adores me & tells me everyday that he would love me the same even if I was a tiny little thing or the size of a house, and I love to hear it, but when I see myself in the mirror it make me repulsed. I can't stand the look of myself. I live in secret deppression over this. My husband knows how much it breaks my heart but doesn't understand just how much being this size & putting goals on myself to loose weight & failing at it, is doing to me emotionally. I feel like a total failure.
To add more stuggle to the inability to loose weight, I have low thyroid & have to take 1 and ahalf thyroid tablets everyday. I spend alot of time in my life terrified to put food in my mouth in fear that I will gain more weight. Weight loss, calories, & fitness, consumes 90% of my thinking. My docotors tell me that I am very fit & healthy...I have very low cholestrol, no sign of type 2 Dibeties, & even though I have bad siatica from breaking my tailbone in labour, I try & keep very active. I am a very competetive person who has always been my biggest critic, When ever I had any goals in life I acheived them with pride. So as you can imagine, for me to stuggle with this & not be able to even hide the problem from the rest of the world. (if I could just remove the fat & hide it in a draw so the rest of the world was none the wiser, i wouldn't have this problem LOL) is a severe struggle. I have now lost all motivation to do anything about it. I dont even believe myself anymore. I say... "Today is the day I am going to improve this situation" (then a voice comes to my head saying "liar...I've heard it all before") I can't even convince myself anymore. I can't stay in the zone long enough to get any successful results. Sorry for the winge but I feel terrible. I feel if I vent it to people who understand then I can hide my emotions from the rest of the world.
Good luck everyone...
Love Gayle x x x
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:31 am

Re: I too stuggle with my weight please help....

Postby BBgal » Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:29 pm

Welcome!! well you have come to the right place... this site is full of great information and support for you to start your weight loss journey out on the right foot.Sounds like you are a very lucky woman to have such a wonderful family and to have such love in your life. Just remember not to be too hard on your self.... if you just take your journey one step at a time you will get to the end, even if there is a few slips ups, detours and back steps just keep looking forward and you will get there..... good luck and I look forward to hearing about your progress
SW: 99.9kg ( how close was that to triple digits) 4/11/08
CW: 72.2kg 20/06/09)
GW: 60kg ( Will re-evaluate then to see if I want lower)
Posts: 143
Joined: Sat Apr 25, 2009 4:34 pm

Re: I too stuggle with my weight please help....

Postby GoddessInside » Mon Jun 08, 2009 2:24 pm

Welcome GM !

Don't ever apologise for "whinging" this is what we are hear for :) Goodluck on your journey !
SW: 233.2kgs - Nov 2012
SW148.0kgs - 14 Oct 2014
CW 141.2kgs
GW 132kg
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Posts: 3040
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:53 pm
Location: Sydney

Re: I too stuggle with my weight please help....

Postby soniad » Mon Jun 08, 2009 3:25 pm

Hi Gayle,

It seems to me you already know all there is when it comes to what you ‘should’ be doing. Unfortunately for many people that’s not enough because they are fighting with that self-loathing voice in their heads that says ‘you’ll never do it. You’ve also been hit pretty hard with the hormonal change in your body that often comes about after having kids and a thyroid problem which makes it doubly for you.

I know it might sound weird but one of they major keys to losing weight and keeping it off is being kind to yourself. We’re conditioned to believe that in order to make ourselves succeed we must first make ourselves feel worse. This doesn’t work. Poor body image is a real problem today and it’s getting worse. Take a look at the airbrushed images of perfect looking models…these images are not even real, but we are conditioned to look at those images and think: ‘I don’t look like that; therefore there is something wrong with me.’

I’m not for one minute suggesting that you should pretend that you like being overweight. What I am suggesting is that your body is not your enemy – it is a part of you and a very useful part at that. Many of us treat our bodies like the enemy – as though it is somehow our body’s fault that we feel so bad about ourselves. Most of us are so focused on what we ‘should’ be doing that we are out of touch with what we really need…from our bodies, and from life in general.

Good on you for joining this forum. I hope that you will be good to yourself and forgive yourself for any failures you have had in the past. Every failure is one step closer to success. You deserve to succeed.

Posts: 30
Joined: Fri May 29, 2009 3:59 pm

Re: I too stuggle with my weight please help....

Postby Shalimar » Mon Jun 08, 2009 6:19 pm

Hi GayleMarie, welcome to the forums :D . There is heaps of support and always a kind word to be had on here.
Best of luck with your goals and see you around the boards :) .

SW: 175.0 kgs.
CW: 62 kgs-Hit goal 12 September 2009.
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Joined: Sun Jun 22, 2008 5:55 pm
Location: South Australia

Re: I too stuggle with my weight please help....

Postby GayleMarie » Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:32 pm

Hello...I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who replied to me even if it was after I posted this current message. Your words are uplifting, give me hope & help me see that is not all hopeless. Sonia you are right I do look at my body as the enemy, I feel like it is another part of me, the evil part that wants to humiliate me & continues to make me suffer, so it make the image of me fat. I feel like a small person sufficating inside a huge fat thick casing that I just can't seem to get out of. But by reading these post, I am trying to look at my body a little differnt now & I am trying to see another point to this & yes I am going to try & become friends with my body again & not blame it all the time for my inability to loose weight.

I hope I have the strength to give it one last shot & not give up on myself.

Thanks again
Gayle x x x
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:31 am

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