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Time to get serious...

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Time to get serious...

Postby Mandie » Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:22 am


I'm Mandie.

This is going to be a long post, so feel free to skim it, or skip to the end and reply with something inspirational. I feel like I have to write it though, so I'll just carry on.

I've been overweight as long as I can remember. I was always the fat girl in primary school, I got teased a lot. I grew a thick skin. I was shy. I'm glad I got teased, in the end, it made me a strong, confident person.

I went to high school, still enormous, but I had loads of friends. Sometimes, I cried at night. But mostly, I was fine. I avoided shopping trips because I knew I couldn't shop in "normal" stores. I started avoiding trips to certain movie theatres because I learned they had seats with a "snug" fit.

I hated HATED HATED swimming. Or changing for P.E.

But I got over it.

I went to university. I drank, I partied, I studied. Again, lots of friends. I've grown even more in confidence. I still avoided shopping trips. I wished to be "normal", and healthy, but couldn't find a way to do it. Sometimes I saw the clothes my friends were wearing to clubs, and I was so jealous - what I wouldn't give to one day wear a miniskirt! And being the only girl in a one-piece with a sarong at the beach was so embarrassing.

But again, put it out of my head. Was for the most part, happy.

Sometimes, I convinced myself I was normal. I think my mirror is special, because I always look gorgeous in it. Photos don't lie. I hated photos.

I never had a boyfriend. I had never been kissed.

One time, I overheard a comment a guy made about me to his friend:
"Nice tits, shame about the rest".

I heard the giggles, the comments. You never forget them.

I got kissed by a boy. I lost my virginity. It was stupid, I was drunk. Mostly, I had such low self esteem that even though I didn't know him, didn't like him, figured since he showed a vague interest it might be my only chance. Pretty sad, huh?

I've moved on from there.

A couple of years later, I made a decision.

I started seeing a dietician.

I was 136.5 kilograms. And 171cm tall. And 20 years old.

I lost approximately 30 kilograms in 6 months. I got a boyfriend - a real one who respected me, told me I was beautiful... then I found out he had a fiance already, but that's a whole nother story :P Fact was, I felt beautiful. I was still fat, but I had a face. And a waist! And some clothes fit...

I travelled in Europe for a year. It was fantastic. I felt great about myself. I even fit in the plane seats! I had two boyfriends during that year. One was --- amazing. It's been 6 months, and I'm not quite over it. It only ended because of distance - not feasible for either of us to move continents at the moment and yeah.. another story. But I felt so good about myself, so confident.

I'm back home. I managed to fluctuate between 105-110kg while I was away.

Getting home, seeing friends, overindulging in food, alcohol.. the weight is coming back.

It's coming back!

I'm now over 110, heading towards 115.



I don't know what to do. I can no longer afford to see the dietician and my options are quite limited.

So this is where you guys come in. I need motivation, I need support.

I know I can do it.

I belong to a gym, and I'm actually going to go regularly. I'm going to make a conscious effort to make healthy food choices (without "dieting") and to cut down on unhealthy snacks.

I recognise my "danger time" as the late afternoon, when I get home, before dinner. I spend this entire time eating - crackers and dip, fruit, chocolate, biscuits, leftovers, soup, whatever I can get my hands on. I'm planning to combat this by packing my gym clothes in the car and going straight there at this time, but at the times I'm home, I suspect it will be my "peak posting time".

So please everyone, help a girl out! I'm 23, reasonably pretty with great hair and gorgeous eyes (I'm modest too). I'm smart, articulate, funny and ambitious. I want to be beautiful inside and out. Mostly I just want to be able to walk into a shop, and buy clothes that I like, that are suitable for my age. I want to be confident in a bikini on the beach. I want to be able to walk up 4 flights of stairs without getting out of breath. I want to be able to reject the asshole guys and make them regret it. I want a boyfriend who will be proud to show me off to his mates.

Most of all, I want to be healthy. I don't want diabetes, or hypertension, and I don't want an early heart attack or stroke.

And when I'm a doctor (and I'm nearly there), I want to be able to inspire my patients with my before and after photos and let them know that I DID THAT. And they can too.

I know I can do this.

I think I can, I think I can.

Thanks for reading, if you got this far! I'll post shorter posts from now on, I promise. I just had to get this off my chest. Tears are healing, right?

**No ticker yet, because my scales broke (I know!) and I don't know exactly what I weigh. But I'll buy some shiny new scales tomorrow and I'll post a ticker then
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Postby KimE » Fri Jul 28, 2006 7:08 pm

Hello Mandie and welcome to the forum.

Thank you for sharing your personal info with us. It's not always easy telling others your story so it is appreciated.

Getting to the gym and cleaning up your eating sounds like an excellent plan to me and I wish you every luck with it. :D
Kim - To thine own self be true
Maintainence since 04/11/06
Preferred Weight - Under 60 kgs
Current Weight - 64.8 kgs
Start Weight - 85 kgs
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Postby Aldebaran » Sat Jul 29, 2006 8:38 am

Welcome Mandie,

You have the motivation, and it seems that you have one great advantage over all of us, in that you understand the physiology of weightloss.

As they say - Physician - heal thyself! You'll always get great support here.
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sat Jul 29, 2006 4:21 pm

Hi Mandie and welcome.
I started at a top weight of 110 and my your story sounded so familiar. I'm now just turned 24 and have been stuck on 78kg for a few weeks now, but not for long and will lose the last 8kg. I'm sure you can too.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby Mandie » Mon Jul 31, 2006 4:15 pm

Thank you thank you for your support!

I've started off - interestingly - with eating TERRIBLE food on the weekend (i.e. pizza, wedges), but with doing a fair bit of exercise.. I'm doing the City to Surf in Perth (12km walk - no way could I run it yet! maybe next year) with some friends and we have been training Sunday mornings..

Now that I have the scales (and I'm bigger than I thought, eek!), I'm ready to start properly and I'm going to do it!
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Postby Aldebaran » Wed Aug 02, 2006 7:06 am

12km? wow! If you keep that up, you'll lose weight no problem. I'm up to a 10km run every night now.
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Postby anna » Wed Aug 02, 2006 10:22 am

Hey Mandie

SO totally understand what you're going through...
Been there... Oh no, actually, AM there...

But I'm creating a diversion by focusing on my work and study...
My sister is kicking me every chance she has by saying "You'll never find a man if you don't slim down!!". God bless her. That's the reminder I need, but only last for a good few minutes, because the next I'd be chowing down a large chips from my good friend Ronald McD.

But today I'm putting my foot down and make myself do it, even if it means kicking and screaming when the alarm goes off at 6 AM, at least I get myself in the gym.

That's it! Sadly there's no quick fix or magic in all of this... I think the only miracle (I just thought of it this morning) is that YOU HAVE TO WANT IT. If you don't want it or only THINK you want it, then it's see you, goodbye, so long...

Disclaimer: Of course this posting is triggered by my new-found motivation that has lasted for 2.5 hrs now. If later down the track I'm not the preacher that I am, please don't hold me to it.
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Postby Groovychic » Wed Aug 02, 2006 11:09 am

Well Mandie I want to congratulate you on the weight you loss prior to now. You know you can do it. There is no "I think I can" because you have acheived weight loss before. But I want to congratulate you mostly for gaining confidence over the years. That is one of the most important thing in life. That and being a happy, positive person. Just think you can do it!!! Don't doubt yourself at all. Because that will give you the chance to fail. And you won't fail. Ok I suggest that you take baby steps with the weight loss. Don't look at that big picture just yet. Thats a lot of kilos you are wanting to lose. How about concentrating on losing 5kgs. Maybe change your ticker graph to reflect 5kg loss. So it shows 0 - 5kg. I am going to change mine. I think the whole thing of losing all those kilos is very daunting. One step at a time. The next thing is, decide what reward you are going to give yourself when you lose those 5kgs. I am going to reward myself with a new digital camcorder. Been wanting one for ages cos I only have one with those little tapes in. Its only about 7 years old but hey I want the digital one!!!! That is when I lose 3kgs! And I really want it before I go on hols at the end of September. So I really have to pull my finger out. Once you have decided what your reward is, it might be a new cd, a piece of clothing(tho I would do clothing just yet as you are going to lose more weight!!!) a bunch of flowers, a trip to the movies. Whatever you decide. But print out a picture of it and put it on the fridge. And put it on the pantry door and maybe stick it to the dash of your car so you're not tempted with the drive thru!!! Did your dietician give you any notes or anything with ideas about what to eat when you went to her???? If so go back thru them for ideas on food. You can still have a fast lunch, if you are in a hurry, by nipping into the grocery store and buying an apple, a mandarine and maybe a carrot! Remember what they say, 2 fruit and 5 veg a day. You eat all that raw a day and you will find that you don't have much room for any junk. And exercise each day. Maybe go to the gym every 2nd day. I would suggest doing weights every day. 3 times a week would be sufficient. But cardio must be done everyday. And if you are only starting out on exercise, expect to put on a little weight because muscle weighs more than fat. And get yourself measured. Either do it yourself or get someone to measure you at the gym. Then each month take those measurements. I have lost over 10cm just on my waist and butt!!! Anyway I have rabbitted on well and truly long enough. Good luck Mandie. And just post any questions you have about anything. Someone will answer you.

Keep Smiling!!!
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