As many of you probably were when you joined I'm close to the heaviest I've ever been and have gone down to as low as 60 kilos before and put back on then gone down a bit put back on etc. (around the 98 mark at the moment heaviest was 101.4)
Sort of at that point now where my mind is so deformed that I'm like, is there any point in trying if i'm just hardwired to think like this?
Been through family issues and relationship breakdown that probalby didn't help with my emotional overeating, have put on 20 kilos in a around a year and a half.
Self esteem sucks, we all think as we're getting bigger and bigger that "if i could just be back at that weight when i thought i was fat i would appreciate it so much more" I really hope that's true because womens self esteem saddens and frustrated me now. Hearing best friends who are 55 kilos and under complaining , breaks my heart and makes me tear my hair out at the same time.
Pretty low point last night, binged pretty close to when i was going to go to sleep and woke up at 4am with crazy stomach cramps and had to call in sick to work. I can't/don't binge like i used to because my stomach is much more sensitive , now i only have to eat a tiny bit of bad food and i feel sick and hate myself (but still consider having more). I also have quite bad anxiety issues which link in with causes and symptoms of weight gain/dieting. (feel free to ask more if you like)
Anyway, my main purpose for this other than support is i want to organise some sort of perth exercise or healthy dinner part/movie night group. I have a gym membership that's going no where because not only do i feel like crap when i go there because of how bad my fitness level is and how i look but i get bored Sh*tless. But i don't want to properly let it go until I'm sure i'll continue my exercise some other way, i keep saying oh i'll do at least the yoga there once a week and that will be my monies worth instead of paying to do it else where, but have i gotten up earlish to do it yet? No.
So anyone of any age or fitness level, willing to come for walks or play some sort of sport or walk steps, take dogs ANYTHING, on a continual basis, can go for a coffee or something afterwards if you'd like. I'd be very interested.
Thanks for listening everyone. And good luck and congratulations to all of you.