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Eeep, here goes again :)

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Eeep, here goes again :)

Postby Lucid87 » Sun Aug 16, 2009 9:27 pm

Hi Everyone
As many of you probably were when you joined I'm close to the heaviest I've ever been and have gone down to as low as 60 kilos before and put back on then gone down a bit put back on etc. (around the 98 mark at the moment heaviest was 101.4)

Sort of at that point now where my mind is so deformed that I'm like, is there any point in trying if i'm just hardwired to think like this?
Been through family issues and relationship breakdown that probalby didn't help with my emotional overeating, have put on 20 kilos in a around a year and a half.

Self esteem sucks, we all think as we're getting bigger and bigger that "if i could just be back at that weight when i thought i was fat i would appreciate it so much more" I really hope that's true because womens self esteem saddens and frustrated me now. Hearing best friends who are 55 kilos and under complaining , breaks my heart and makes me tear my hair out at the same time.

Pretty low point last night, binged pretty close to when i was going to go to sleep and woke up at 4am with crazy stomach cramps and had to call in sick to work. I can't/don't binge like i used to because my stomach is much more sensitive , now i only have to eat a tiny bit of bad food and i feel sick and hate myself (but still consider having more). I also have quite bad anxiety issues which link in with causes and symptoms of weight gain/dieting. (feel free to ask more if you like)

Anyway, my main purpose for this other than support is i want to organise some sort of perth exercise or healthy dinner part/movie night group. I have a gym membership that's going no where because not only do i feel like crap when i go there because of how bad my fitness level is and how i look but i get bored Sh*tless. But i don't want to properly let it go until I'm sure i'll continue my exercise some other way, i keep saying oh i'll do at least the yoga there once a week and that will be my monies worth instead of paying to do it else where, but have i gotten up earlish to do it yet? No.

So anyone of any age or fitness level, willing to come for walks or play some sort of sport or walk steps, take dogs ANYTHING, on a continual basis, can go for a coffee or something afterwards if you'd like. I'd be very interested.
Thanks for listening everyone. And good luck and congratulations to all of you.

xox
Lucid87
 
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Joined: Sun Aug 16, 2009 4:10 pm

Re: Eeep, here goes again :)

Postby Lucid87 » Sun Aug 16, 2009 9:28 pm

p.s. (haven't learnt how to edit yet)

I'm 5`4
Lucid87
 
Posts: 28
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Re: Eeep, here goes again :)

Postby Princess_Lissa » Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:03 am

Hi there Lucid--- and welcome to the forum!

From what I've read, it seems that you binge as a way of responding to your biggest stressors...

I don't know what exercise you do or what type of diet you're in, but I'm positively suggesting that you look into your attitude towards stress... asap! I'm a bit wondering what healthy things have you been doing because it should've somehow impacted your stress-coping mechanism. I, for one, became more optimistic and started to compare myself to others less and less as months went on (comparing myself to others pushed me to binge, too) with living healthily through regular exercise and a healthy diet.

I'm not entirely sure which affects the other (if exercise affects our stress threshold first, or conversely), but if I knew outright that I binge in response to stress, I'd target that problem first and see how it goes from there.
"If you can dream it, you can do it!" -W. Disney
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Re: Eeep, here goes again :)

Postby Lucid87 » Tue Aug 18, 2009 4:00 am

Thanks for your response, i guess i'm trying to work on that, but sometimes you can't take the stressors out of your life so you have to just work on your response to stress. Unfortunately due to my anxiety issues stress is a natural part of life, and a part of dieting.

I'm not on a plan at the moment, the most recent one was Censored. When i'm on really strick diets i tend to think about food all the time and stress (even if there's a free day on it) but when i'm not on a strict diet i fall into old habits so easily.
Exercise used to be much easier for me as i have become much more unfit with these extra 20kgs, so i'm finding it hard to get inspired again.
Lucid87
 
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Aug 16, 2009 4:10 pm

Re: Eeep, here goes again :)

Postby Miss Jo » Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:48 am

I think you need to stop "dieting" as such. I know when I was on various diets, food was the only thing on my mind. Change your lifestyle! that way you can maintain it as well. You should try Calorie King, i know it has helped alot of members lose a lot of weight! I use it and it's been good so far! :D

and you've done it before, so you can do it again! :D
1st GW: 64kg
Final GW: 60kg
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