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Postby lackofenergy » Mon Sep 04, 2006 8:57 pm

Hi everyone,

My name is Gabby and I have just joined this site... i would welcome all the support i can get.. i used to be quite thin up until about 5 or so years ago, when i started eating for emotional reasons, and all of a sudden, the weight crept on.... well, i did lose some due to illness about 18 months ago ,and put most of it back on... does anyone have the problem where if they are upset , they eat?? like right now, my life isn;t going too well, I'm looking for a new job, suffering from depression, and there is a guy i really care for but it seems he does't like me, just to name a few!! anyway, i am usually a bright and bubbly person, with a good heart, but it's hard to be happy all the time.

Hope to hear from people who understand!!


:lol:
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Postby Dolly » Mon Sep 04, 2006 9:10 pm

Hi Gabby, welcome to the forum, I think there may be a lot of people here who use to turn for food when the stress is put on them.
I'm just one of those that likes to eat because food tastes good :shock:

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Postby SarahC » Mon Sep 04, 2006 9:13 pm

Hi Gabby. Yes, I definitely understand... I eat for all kinds of reasons, be it boredom, loneliness, depression, worry, stress, or just plain procrastination. Particularly if there's something that I have to do, but don't want to... I eat in order to put it off and to calm the stress of having to do it :(

Food can be very comforting when things aren't going so great and you feel terrible. Unfortunately it ends up creating more problems though.. so it's very difficult. I don't know what the answer is. I've been told that once everthing else is sorted in your life, and you're happy and contented, that the eating will take care of itself. That would be nice :?

There's so much support here on this site, and so many people willing to help. You are in the right place :D
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Tue Sep 05, 2006 6:32 am

hi gabby
you have come to right the right place buddy :) you will find lots of support here and i hope that you reach your goal weight with much success :) you will be able to overcome your weight gain with a change of lifestyle. :) do you have any hobbies to keep you occupied???

best wishes
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Postby KimE » Tue Sep 05, 2006 8:21 am

Hello Gabby and welcome to the forum.

I don’t eat due to stress but used to eat from boredom and the fact that I just loved to eat in general. I have managed to curb that and have found smaller, regular meals (every 2-3 hrs) helps with this as there is never a healthy meal too far away. I find now I don’t crave sweetie or fatty stuff as much as I used to. Which isn’t to say I don’t have things every now and then and I have Saturday night off which gives me time to indulge without going overboard.

I hope you find the support you need here as there is plenty of it around and everyone is very friendly.

I wish you all the best with your weight loss journey.
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Postby Ally » Tue Sep 05, 2006 10:04 am

Hi Gabby and a big warm welcome to the forum!! We are all here for one reason and that is that we are all trying to achieve a much happier and healthier lifestyle for ourselves...so you have come to the right place for support!!

I am an emotional eater as well and I know where you are coming from. The best thing that you can do is sit down and do a food diary (a completely honest one!) and mark the times down that you eat emotionally. Once you have done this you can see the times that you are most vunerable to it and try and combat it. There is an emotional eating diary download on the homepage of this forum. The best thing to remember is to change your way of thinking so that you are saying to yourself, "I may be angry/upset/happy/down/depressed etc.....but food is not going to solve the problems only create a bigger one". I found this helped me and only last week was put in a situation where I had 3 lots of bad news in one day and could have easily pigged out and fell back into that habit. Instead I sat down and had a good cry and really thought about the hurt and anger I was feeling. I then got up and cleaned my house from top to bottom. (Not only had I not turned to food to comfort me, but my house just sparkled!!)

I think the biggest reason we eat emotionally is because we are trying to stop the pain etc. Food will placate and fill that void for only as long as we are eating it, then reality hits and it;s a two-fold kick in the pants. Number 1 our pain/hurt/anger is still there and number 2 we feel like a failure 'cause we have just eaten AGAIN and deep down we know it was not neccessary. We need to deal with the problem that is afflicting us, not try and gobble food that is going to make us feel worse.

This forum has really helped me alot. The people on here are fantastic and supportive. I have only been here 3 weeks and I feel like part of the 'family'. Don't give up, don't give in, we are here to help you and you can stop the emotional eating and strive for a healthier lifestyle!!
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sat Sep 09, 2006 3:24 pm

Hi Gabby, welcome to the forum! Many people eat for emotional reasons. Maybe now you know you do it you can catch yourself with your hand in the fridge/bikkie jar and say "wait on...am I really hungry or just needing comfort" if it's the latter then you can find something else to do. For me it's crafts or reading!
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15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

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thanks guys

Postby lackofenergy » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:06 pm

Hi everyone,

wow i didn;t expect so many replies, but thankyou so much for all your support. i only just worked out how to view these, so i do apologise for being so tardy. i had some more bad news today, well it;s not really bad, just a shock. My ex-partner has married, so he told my daughter. He has been married for a year almost. and i just found out. I left him almost 5 years ago, and I don;t love him anymore, but I feel upset for some reason, i guess I always thougth i would be the one to find someone first. I have dated and had a few boyfriends, but nothing serious or long lasting. OUr relationship was a very difficult one, and now i feel like i have alot of unresolved issues to work through. Also, he told my daughter he wants to have childeren with this woman, and that mad me see red. He is 51, and has two children who he doesn;t support. well i know he does nothing for my daughter financially, and she has no contact with him. So I am fighting the impulse to eat my self silly tonight. Can anyone offer advice? and why is this situation upsetting me so much when i left him? :?
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:29 pm

Hi lackofenergy

im sorry you are having an awful time today but dont reach for naughty comforts!! i think what is contributing to the way you are feeling is:
1. your daughter found out before you- AND it happened a year ago and you only just found out
2. like you said, he has moved on before you whereas you thought you would move on and settle down before him considering you were the one who left
3. whilst you were together im sure you spent some specialy times together and you had a love for one another, and no matter if you move on or not you will always feel hurt or regrets or love maybe.

just think, he has moved on, that his life, now you need to make the most of yours :) you are here to change to a new happier and healthier you!! you know what? you should say to yourself " good on him, i am glad he has moved on, now i can move on with my life"

you can do it mate, i believe you can move on successfully with your life :)
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Postby Ally » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:53 pm

yep yep agree with all that Kate. Just try to keep in my that food is not going to comfort you in any way, it will in the long run, make things worse. There is a quote somewhere on this forum from someones signature that states quite simply, sticks and stones may break my bones, but cake will not heal me. (i think that is it, it may be a little different!)

You really need to deal with all the hurt, anger and confusion you are feeling now. Don't use the food to try and fill a gap as it will only "comfort" you for awhile and then leave you feeling disgusted with yourself and it then becomes a vicious cycle. Try and stay focused, as hard as it is right now and things will get easier for you. (crap i sound like a fortune cookie!!) I hope this helps in some way.
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thanks girls

Postby lackofenergy » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:49 pm

thank you so much girls for your words of comfort, i didn;t expect replies straight away... well, so far so good, haven't eaten anything 'bad' yet.... but I don;t always trust myself. wel i have moved on , it was so hard to rebuild my life, as he did distroy alot of it, and havign a man isn;t the answer, i have to feel happy within my self, i think too part ot the reason that I am a bit upset is that this means there is no giong back, he was always calling me, to see him , after i left him, even when i was seeing someone else, so i know now that it's all over, and it's time to close the door for good and move forward. i am trying! :lol:
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Postby KimE » Sun Sep 10, 2006 3:26 pm

Well Gabby it looks like you may be on the healing side of this and well done for not turning to food.

You are a complete person in yourself whether you have a partner or not so perhaps it's time to celebrate that and have some time for yourself.
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sun Sep 10, 2006 6:22 pm

Ah, screw him. Men can be doofuses sometimes. He probably didn't tell you in case you got angry and keyed his car! :roll:

On the serious side, any relationship requires energy. I'm sure you put a lot into trying to make it work before it bit the proverbial dust. Him finding another wife and wanting to have children represent the utter, irreversible end to the relationship you put so much energy into. No wonder you're pissed.

Re the food - try doing something else to work out the anger. Go for a run. find a local gym and beat the living s*$^t out of the punching bag (and ignore the frightened look of all the local members).

When I've had a particularly bad day at work, I jump on my bike and give it hell for a good 15-30min. By the end of that I'm generally too pooped to be angry andy more - and the endorphins have kicken in and make me feel all warm and fuzzy....mmmm.....endorphins.....
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby Ally » Sun Sep 10, 2006 7:33 pm

OH Tegan that was funny.....I have this mental image of people just standing opened mouthed :shock: as you kick the living s%&t out a punching bag screaming and yelling to remove your frustration and then walking away as calm as anything with that warm fuzzy smile and far away look in your eye!!!! REst assured no one will mess with you!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Life is great at last!!!!

Postby lackofenergy » Fri Sep 29, 2006 3:17 pm

I have some wonderful news guys, but i think I may have already told you all this, I have a new job!! i start on monday, it's not really terrific in terms of pay, but it's full time, and customer service, which is the kind of work I have really been seeking for a long time, so I feel like things are turning around for me.........finally!!!! also, my new man, well, we are just friends right now, is coming down this weekend, in fact i see him tonight, he arrived this morning, but due to my commitments with my daughter I won't see him until about 7pm tonight... I am really nervious, he is staying with me for the weekend, and , ok, I know what you are all thinking, well, I am nervous for many reasons, my daughter will be away for the weekend, and yes, i haven't had censored in such a long time, not that i am planning to do that, but, I guess i will have to see how we both feel........ at this stage, we just want to enjoy each other's company, and take it from there...... oh i am nervous! wish me luck guys, and I hope everyone is well,

Gabby :lol:
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