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What an unfriendly place!

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What an unfriendly place!

Postby Jaynie » Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:15 am

I was hoping for a bit of support here, but by the number of people who have rushed to say hello in my intro thread in the last two days...... I guess I'll have to go elsewhere.
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby miss_viva » Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:46 am

Hi Jaynie and welcome,

I'm sorry that you felt unsupported on the forums. Don't let it get you down - just join in and start posting on other threads, and you'll soon start to feel more included and get some replies to your posts. From what I've noticed, a lot of people are often a little reluctant to welcome every newbie that posts a message, as lots of people sign up and post one message, and then never post again. So we spend time replying to these messages, never to hear from these people again which can also be frustrating.

Perhaps you can start by looking through the threads for someone with a similar goal or starting weight to you and post a message on their thread. You'll probably start to get more replies when people realise you are in it for the long haul, and not just here for one or two posts :) I'm happy to support you in your progress - I normally post over in "personal progress", and I've noticed that a lot of people are really supportive in that section. Hopefully you'll find the same too!

All the best with your weightloss journey!
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby Jaynie » Thu Feb 25, 2010 10:09 am

miss_viva wrote:Hi Jaynie and welcome,

I'm sorry that you felt unsupported on the forums. Don't let it get you down - just join in and start posting on other threads, and you'll soon start to feel more included and get some replies to your posts. From what I've noticed, a lot of people are often a little reluctant to welcome every newbie that posts a message, as lots of people sign up and post one message, and then never post again. So we spend time replying to these messages, never to hear from these people again which can also be frustrating.

Perhaps you can start by looking through the threads for someone with a similar goal or starting weight to you and post a message on their thread. You'll probably start to get more replies when people realise you are in it for the long haul, and not just here for one or two posts :) I'm happy to support you in your progress - I normally post over in "personal progress", and I've noticed that a lot of people are really supportive in that section. Hopefully you'll find the same too!

All the best with your weightloss journey!

You don't think that perhaps those people who post one message then leave, might be responding to the lack of friendliness and unsupportive nature of the place? <eye roll> Because I sure do.

Thank you for the welcome, although it would have been far more appreciated had it come without prompting. As for posting elsewhere, forget it. Why should I set myself up for yet more being ignored?

And I can promise you that others feel/have felt the same as I do.

Maybe your forum needs a bit of a shake up, if a simple, "hello and welcome" is too much bother for people here.
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby miss_viva » Thu Feb 25, 2010 2:24 pm

Jaynie wrote:You don't think that perhaps those people who post one message then leave, might be responding to the lack of friendliness and unsupportive nature of the place? <eye roll> Because I sure do.


I think a lot of people have good intentions and sign up thinking that this will be the start of their weightloss journey - and then they abandon it for whatever reasons they have. It's possible that some people may be disheartened by the lack of replies, but they could also make more of an effort to communicate with others too. When you posted this thread, you had only made four posts in total (three, not including your introductory post) - and I hardly think that qualifies a significant effort to communicate with other members of the forum. I could understand your frustrations a lot more if you had been posting regularly on this forum for a week or two and still weren't getting any replies.

People use the forums for different reasons too. Some people like to interact with others, and some like to just post messages to keep themselves accountable and to record their progress. I've gone through stages where I felt like I wasn't getting much response from others, and you know what? It doesn't matter because I'm doing this for me. I just kept on posting messages and recording my progress, and people do stop by and comment. I've found the forum to have an amazing bunch of lovely and supportive people on here, so perhaps you should look at your own behaviour before criticising others.

I came on here this morning to just have a quick skim through the board before starting work. I wasn't planning on posting anything at the time, but after reading your first message here, I made a point to sign in and offer you a welcome, a possible explanation, and an offer of more support in the future. What I get back in return is a snarky response, complete with "eye rolls" and this lovely comment:

Jaynie wrote:Thank you for the welcome, although it would have been far more appreciated had it come without prompting.


What were you hoping for in response?

I actually find you quite hypocritical - you're b!tching that people on here are unfriendly and unsupportive, and yet when someone tries to address your concerns and make an effort with you, you respond with sarcasm. I'm not really one for drama, but I really think you aren't doing much to help yourself here.
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby ali76 » Thu Feb 25, 2010 3:47 pm

I too came in here to welcome you and offer support (I don't have a hell of a lot of time to get on here but do when I can) but I don't need to be torn down and told I'm unfriendly, unwelcoming and unsupportive.

I've written a few posts in my own thread and haven't received any responses for a few days....but so what!? People are busy and will write when they have time - not when I demand it!

Good luck with everything Jaynie. Miss Viva, save your advice and concern for those of us who appreciate it x
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby starr22 » Thu Feb 25, 2010 8:07 pm

hi jaynie. i'm sorry you felt that way. I think a lot of us that come on here just don't have time to post sometimes. I know I personally come on here most days, but alot of the time I am at work and i just don't get a chance to reply to much. if you look at my progress thread you will see that there is only ever a couple of people who comment after i have posted something, but that's cool with me, i know they are all there in the background cheering me on :)

Anyway, hi and welcome............ even if it is a bit late :!:
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby Aylilth » Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:45 am

This is a quiet forum.......

I know I just check in every so often, so sorry for the late welcome.

But to complain about .............. :|
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby Czarina » Fri Feb 26, 2010 11:51 am

Get over it!
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby HappyGirl83 » Fri Mar 05, 2010 11:27 am

Augh I agree...get over it!

When I post I don't expect anyone to reply. My progress thread is about my journey, my vents, my acheivements and my ramblings. When people do stop by and reply it is so lovely but at the end of the day if no one did, it wouldn't stop me losing weight.

You can use this as an excuse to not lose weight or you can get in there, join in one of the active threads and get going changing your life!!!!
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby Carley » Fri Mar 12, 2010 8:51 pm

Unfriendly? What a joke? I think this is the best weight lost forum around. People have been very supportive to me from the beginning and I respect everyone here.

You call us unfriendly for not replying? Where are your replies to others? We can not sit here, by the computer waiting for posts...we have lives!!!

If you want to complain about us and not know us, feel free to leave, I personally do not care. If you want to censored about my friends, then expect me to get angry.

Don't let the the door hit you on the way out.

Bye-bye :roll:
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby Shay » Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:32 pm

My goodness, too much drama! It took over a hundred posts before people started to really reply to me. Its like real life, people arent going to run into a random and become besties with them. Be nice and supportive, and you get it back. Half the time people dont reply to me but then i think, 'i dont reply to every post here, so obviously not everyone is going to reply to me either'. I hope you're not so uptight in real life :)

Mind you, i think if you'd started a thread saying you'd like a bit more support because you really needed and having gotten it so far people wouldve been more than willing to give it to you. But being rude about peoples rudeness is kind of a paradox.
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby Carley » Sat Mar 13, 2010 10:45 am

Shay wrote:My goodness, too much drama! It took over a hundred posts before people started to really reply to me. Its like real life, people arent going to run into a random and become besties with them. Be nice and supportive, and you get it back. Half the time people dont reply to me but then i think, 'i dont reply to every post here, so obviously not everyone is going to reply to me either'. I hope you're not so uptight in real life :)

Mind you, i think if you'd started a thread saying you'd like a bit more support because you really needed and having gotten it so far people wouldve been more than willing to give it to you. But being rude about peoples rudeness is kind of a paradox.



I hope you feel the love from me lady :P :)
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby curvygirl » Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:21 pm

Czarina wrote:Get over it!


I so agree.
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby Potbellied German » Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:42 pm

Jaynie wrote:I was hoping for a bit of support here, but by the number of people who have rushed to say hello in my intro thread in the last two days...... I guess I'll have to go elsewhere.



I agree..... I just signed up and I am online now for five minutes and no one said hello to me *sarcasm*...... :roll:
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......Okay, I am off now into the introduction thread to introduce myself...
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Re: What an unfriendly place!

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Tue Mar 30, 2010 8:19 pm

I made sure to run and say hi to you in the introduction thread as soon as I logged on, Potbellied German. I wouldn't want anyone to think we were rude or anything. :wink: :lol:
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