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Please stay with me!

Postby dearne » Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:32 pm

I have to be honest, writing this makes me really nervous, but if I dont do it now I never will.

I am new, and looking for people to talk to on my weightloss journey, and hoping to finish it this time :!:

I am 24, 170cm and weigh 112kg. The sadest part for me is that I wear larger sized clothes than my mother who is also overweight. For many many years I have had my parents constantly telling me I need to lose weight, even though they are much much much larger than me (my dad is i think about 6ft 3 and i cant get my arms around his stomach, so no idea how much he weighs). This is very hurtful when people who are larger than you tell you that you are so overweight! :( For as many years as I cant remember my extended and immediate family have been telling me im unhealthy and overweight, and my dad has said to ALL of my boyfriends (including my current boyfriend of 3 years) that in order to date me you need to be deaf, dumb and BLIND because why would you want to see something this disgusting everyday - his actual words! To add insult to injury, I cannot go clothes shopping because if I do ever buy clothes or take someone (except my boyfriend now, because he loves me) they always tell me that I need to pull down my shirt, up my pants and stop showing off my horrible stomach because it makes everyone sick, mind you my clothes are some of the most conservative I have ever seen.

So as you can tell, the self esteem doesnt exist... at all! :oops: I have tried counselling and they never deal with the weight issues. And in this battle I dont want to tell anyone because if I ever do all they do is put me down!. So I am battling this with my boyfriend who is also trying to lose weight, we are keeping each other motivated to walk as many days as possible, eating healthy things, and since we started we have not been to a fast food outlet! so very proud of that.

I am joining this forum because I could really use the guidance, extra motivation and somebody to talk to!

Thanks
Dearne
Dearne
dearne
 
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Location: Kilmore, VIC

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby LIAL » Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:06 pm

Hey Welcome!
I've just finished my weight loss. I managed to shed 10.5kgs which took me a little over 12 weeks to do. My biggest tips are (if you're interested):
first and foremost keep a food diary. You will lose twice as much weight! Be honest with it as only you will see it anyway. I did mine in an excel spreadsheet.
• NO CARBS after lunch. Just vegies and protein.
• No booze at ALL!!!!!!!
• Cut down on sugar, I went from one teaspoon to just ½ in my coffee etc.
• Eat smarter, try and eat foods that will fill you up i.e. 6 squares of chocolate = one bowl of porridge w milk and sugar.
• Compare food labels on all packets. The biggest thing to watch is when it says “FAT FREE” but have a close look and watch the sugar especially in yogurts. NO fat = tons of sugar instead!!!!!!!!!
• I aimed to lose approx 100gr a day. This was probably a bit on the high side, but I just didn’t want to diet for months and months. I ate b/w 4000 and 6000 kj's a day.
• I wear a heart rate monitor when I exercise (this is a 50 min brisk walk every day) that tells me how much I’ve burnt off. I add that to my diary b/c it means you can eat more :)
• Drink lots of water.
• Green tea is supposed to increase your metabolism, but seeing as I’m off caffeine I didn’t have any. You need to drink at least 10 cups of it though.
• Get some kitchen scales and weigh EVERYTHING. I know it’s a pain, but at least you will be eating the correct servings. Serving sizes on packets are AMAZINGLY SMALL!
• I adjusted my calorie intake as I lost weight, see:
http://www.weightloss.com.au/weight-loss-tools.html to work out you own calorie intake needs and BMI etc.
• Another invaluable website is:
http://www.calorieking.com.au/foods/
That is where I got my KJ’s from if it wasn’t on the packet.

Anyway good luck with it.
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Re: Please stay with me!

Postby brendan » Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:12 pm

Hang in there Dearne. Like you I have just started my journey back to a healthy weight - I used to be a pretty fit 75kg in my late teens/early 20s and again in my mid to late 30s, but I find that as soon as I take my eye of the ball, so to speak, the weight piles on. My first (ex) wife died a few months ago from lung cancer (she went pretty quickly) and my second wife died a month later from a heart attack (she'd been battling various cancers for 10 years and her body eventually just gave up) - so it served as a wake up call.
I'm 56 yo 182cm and was 158kg at the beginning of October - by watching what I am eating I have already got down to 151kg, but because of a back problem (weight related) I can't go for walks yet. I spent $150 at the chemist yesterday getting Acai Berry capsules, Green Coffee and Optislim meal replacements - hopefully this will help give me that kick start my weightloss needs.
There are a lot of people here who can help with advice, and to give the inspiration you need. Don't listen to the negative comments of the people around you, focus on the positive from those that have achieved the goals you seek. Good luck!

Bren
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End of March - 119kg - 118.7 - made it!

End of April - 115kg
End of May - 111kg
End of June - 107kg
End of July - 103kg
End of August - 99kg
End of September - 95kg
End of October - 91kg
End of year - 81kg TARGET WEIGHT - Optimistic
brendan
 
Posts: 324
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:17 am
Location: Traralgon, Australia

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby e&me » Fri Nov 05, 2010 5:32 pm

I know where you are coming from, I used to weigh about the same as my mother (98kg) and she would always put me down, she would buy clothes that were far to big and really unattractive for someone my age, and basically laughed in my face when I told her I was going to lose weight. So with no support for many years I failed, it was not until I had my son that I found the motivation to lose weight. I still get the same sort of comments from my mother unfortunatly but now they dont affect me- mainly because I did see a counselor and did discuss my weight issues. Since then I have lost around 25kg (give or take- keeps changing). So there is hope, you need to find what motivates you and you need to learn to ignore any negative comments that come your way.

Good luck with everything
1/01/2011 Start week
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29/01/2011 Week 4
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19/02/2011 Week 7
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19/03/2011 Week 11
26/03/2011 Week 12
e&me
 
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Re: Please stay with me!

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Nov 08, 2010 8:53 am

Hi Dearne,
Sounds like you're in a pretty difficult place right now with emotions. You might find that looking at those will help with your weight loss too - they are often related. There's not a lot that you can do about other people's behaviour, but you can control your own reactions to theirs. When you went to counselling, did you raise the weight as an issue you wanted to deal with? I know there are psychologists and various counsellors out there who do work in health and weight related areas.

Maybe this is going to be a journey not just of weight loss, but of finding yourself, finding out who you are, what your strengths are and loving yourself so much that you will actually find it easier to make those decisions to get healthier, chose the right foods, to go do some activity, because you can see how much you deserve to live a happy, long, healthy life.

Your boyfriend sounds like a real catch being so supportive of you. Obviously he sees something in you to love, maybe it's time to start looking at yourself through his eyes instead of through the eyes of the people who say nasty things to you.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby dearne » Mon Nov 08, 2010 10:35 am

thank you so much everyone for your lovely comments, it is inspiring to know that so many others are doing it tough and have gone through the same types of pain!

a food diary sounds great, I did find one on this site the first time i came on here, but it was strange when I wrote on it because most days my calorie intake is so low (for a week that i wrote it down my average was just over 2000 calories per day, very weird). I eat an average of 3 meals per day, with 2 snacks during the day (i havent had chocolate for over a week). so its strange to work out what is going wrong when i try so hard.

I could use some advice though, are museli bars like uncle tobys good for you or a big no no because i find them easy to eat, and easy to transport for if i get peckish rather than having to buy some crap....

i now want to keep everyone posted so i can change something
Dearne
dearne
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:45 am
Location: Kilmore, VIC

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Nov 08, 2010 10:54 am

Muesli bars - yes and no. They are obviously better than some alternatives, but they can be very high in sugar (almost to the point that you may as well buy chocolate!). Read the nutrition panels and do some comparisons. I normally don't eat muesli bars, but bought some for a recent endurance event I was in. I wanted as low GI as I could get (so minimal sugar) as I had plenty of quick energy release options in the sports drink and gel energy packs. I found "Carman's" bars seemed to be relatively good - still higher in glucose than a normal no added sugar muesli, but relatively good compared to other muesli bars. Nice flavour (IMO), and reasonably priced (more expensive than your cheapies, but not too horrendous).

Some other good options for portable snacks could be those individual packs of fruit and nuts (though these are high cals so watch your portions) or a ziplock snack bag with sliced carrot or something similar. I try (try being the operative term) and aim for as minimal intervention between something growing in a field and my mouth - it usually means it's better for me.

If your diet is pretty good (and remember to check portion sizes!) then maybe it's down to getting more active :)
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Re: Please stay with me!

Postby brendan » Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:00 am

Hi Dearne

My instinct is that uncle toby bars are high in energy and made more for hard physical workers and those doing gruelling exercise routines or sports. Check out the packaging and see what the energy rating is. Perhaps look for a low energy snack like a piece of fruit or an egg or carrot or celery or a handful of a fruit/seed/nut mix.

It seems that 2000 cals a day is a bit high (depending on your lifestyle) and perhaps aim for 1200-1500 calories to get the weightloss going. Read as much as you can (plenty on this site) about the right foods and quantities, and with a little help from your friends here you will achieve your goals!
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[/url]


End of March - 119kg - 118.7 - made it!

End of April - 115kg
End of May - 111kg
End of June - 107kg
End of July - 103kg
End of August - 99kg
End of September - 95kg
End of October - 91kg
End of year - 81kg TARGET WEIGHT - Optimistic
brendan
 
Posts: 324
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:17 am
Location: Traralgon, Australia

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby dearne » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:10 pm

thanks brendan! ill have to keep a supply of cut carrots, celery and other fruit in the fridge to bring to work. how many meals or snacks do you eat a day? i did get told once that it is good to have 5 smaller meals a day rather than 3, is this true?
Dearne
dearne
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:45 am
Location: Kilmore, VIC

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby brendan » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:26 pm

Hi Dearne

Nobody seems to say that it is bad to eat 5 or 6 meals a day - I think it just means that if you do then you have to be sensible about foodtype and quanity. I have taken the road of having an apple or celery or carrot or a handful of nuts for those smaller "between meal" meals. I have either 2 slices of toast with or without an egg for breakfast, or one of those oatmeal sachets with a bit of milk and yoghurt. For Lunch I generally have a salad wrap with either cheese or chicken. For Dinner I have something light like baked beans, or an egg, or a soup.
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/w4Q56PK/]
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End of March - 119kg - 118.7 - made it!

End of April - 115kg
End of May - 111kg
End of June - 107kg
End of July - 103kg
End of August - 99kg
End of September - 95kg
End of October - 91kg
End of year - 81kg TARGET WEIGHT - Optimistic
brendan
 
Posts: 324
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:17 am
Location: Traralgon, Australia

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby dearne » Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:09 pm

I have the problem with dinner at the moment that I live with my parents, and they are the type of people that everyone should eat the same meal, so by the time i get home from work my dinner is always prepared. So i dont know if it is a good thing that to combat the (overly) large dinner prepared for me - which i dont eat most of because the portion sizes are so huge - i have smaller breakfasts.

Because I am up at 5.30am to get ready for work, my breakfast is a handful of cereal (a big weakness because I have little money to buy the right stuff this week is rice bubbles and last week was wholegrain cocoa pops - my excuse is there was nothing else there) with low fat milk. then i have nothing til lunch, where I have a cup of 2 minute noodles (takes up most of my calories, but only one packet left then i can change foods because there is no temptation) and snack is usually a museli bar or at the moment a home-made fruit cake piece.

i think im on a bad track, and need to change it. What do you suggest for a very very quick breakfast food i can eat at about 6am without waking other people up, or are things like Up and Go any good?
Dearne
dearne
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:45 am
Location: Kilmore, VIC

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby brendan » Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:25 pm

Have the dinner from the night before for breakfast - have it in the fridge and just nuke it in the microwave in the morning. Maybe have soup or salad for dinner. I'm sure if you tell the family that's the way you'd like to eat they will understand - either that or divide dinner into two and have half now half in the morning. Just a thought!
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/w4Q56PK/]
Image
[/url]


End of March - 119kg - 118.7 - made it!

End of April - 115kg
End of May - 111kg
End of June - 107kg
End of July - 103kg
End of August - 99kg
End of September - 95kg
End of October - 91kg
End of year - 81kg TARGET WEIGHT - Optimistic
brendan
 
Posts: 324
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:17 am
Location: Traralgon, Australia

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:49 pm

It's really up to you how you manage the parent issue. No-one can strap you down and physically force you to eat something you choose not to (if they do you can quite right rightly charge them with assault), BUT if you want to eat more healthily, it sounds like you might have to take some initiative to do it by the sounds of things.

It might mean having to decline the food you're provided and start cooking your own, or only eating half of what's on your plate and saving the rest for lunch the next day. Breakfast is definitely a must - there was a story on the radio this morning about some new research demonstrating long term skipping of breakfast is associated with higher rates of obesity and heart disease. Start buying your own breakfast - get some rolled oats and some fruit and nut mix and you have a wholesome, filling, low GI breakfast that should easily see you through the morning. Keep it in your room if necessary with some small individual serve packets of long life milk so you don't even have to leave your room to breakfast...

Are your parents going to kick up a fuss? Maybe. I guess you can choose to "eat what I'm given to keep things ok with the parents" or "upset the parents to some degree but make more healthy decisions" or some variation along those lines. Whichever choice you make is going to have a balance of positive and negative consequences. None of us can tell you what you should do, you know that better than some random people you met on the internet, but ultimately it is a choice you make.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby dearne » Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:19 pm

Butterfly_Dawn wrote: Breakfast is definitely a must - there was a story on the radio this morning about some new research demonstrating long term skipping of breakfast is associated with higher rates of obesity and heart disease.

thanks for the tip, i have the bad thing that during school i used to skip breakfast everyday and lunch most days as well. Gladly now i grew a bit of common sense and i eat my breakfast everyday (i even found some of the breakfast meals on here that i can cook the night before to have for breakfast in the morning!) :)

:o I just read some of my other posts and responses, and thought about what nutrional information i am looking at on packets, and i realised that i am counting in kj rather than calories, is that bad? i take in 2000 and 2500kj per day... im glad i am realising it now that ive been looking at something different.
Dearne
dearne
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:45 am
Location: Kilmore, VIC

Re: Please stay with me!

Postby brendan » Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:41 pm

Hi Dearne

1000 kilojoules = 238 calories
100 calories = 420 kilojoules

Personally I like to work in calories (dealing with smaller figures) probably a psychological thing. But after a while you can look at a label and convert it in your head.

2000 kilojoules is not enough for a day - you need at least twice, perhaps even three times that amount. :? It might be worthwhile seeing a dietician to get professional advice.

Hang in there!
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/w4Q56PK/]
Image
[/url]


End of March - 119kg - 118.7 - made it!

End of April - 115kg
End of May - 111kg
End of June - 107kg
End of July - 103kg
End of August - 99kg
End of September - 95kg
End of October - 91kg
End of year - 81kg TARGET WEIGHT - Optimistic
brendan
 
Posts: 324
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:17 am
Location: Traralgon, Australia

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