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New: excuse the negativity!

Postby issakova » Tue May 24, 2011 8:44 pm


First, I'd like to apologize for my coming introduction which will probably be quite negative and even perhaps self-pitying (arghh!). I'm sorry, but I really need to share, in the hope that someone might relate and offer me some hope.

I'm 37, and have been struggling with my weight since age 15. For the first 20 years or so, it was manageable. Gain 6 kilos, lose 4, gain 10 kilos, lose 8 and on, and on. Overall, I was ok with myself, even if I complained about my weight and wanting to lose weight. Whenever the scales tipped too high, I would get on a diet (tried them all) and successfully lose weight. Until next time.

This was all until I got pregnant and had my baby 3 years ago. I put on an insane amount of weight during pregnancy (18 kilos) on an already overweight frame.

Dealt with postpartum for about 4 months post delivery. I dealt with it by crying a lot and repressing the rest of my feelings, and eating of course.

For the past 3 years, I've struggled enormously to lose some weight. This has never happened to me before, not being able to stick to a diet long enough to lose a significant amount of weight. At my highest (pre-pregnancy) I reached 68 kilos, and never stayed there long. I'm about 71 or 72 kilos now, the lowest I can reach is 69.5 and that's after a huge struggle. it doesn't last either, I'm immediately back up to 71.

I just can't seem to stick to a diet, or to eat moderately. It feels like I'm constantly stuffing myself and I'm totally unable to stop.

I'm tired of this situation, and I'm tired of trying but I'm very unhappy with my weight and my body. So at the moment I'm lost and don't know what to do. The mere thought of putting myself on a diet depresses so much I just push the thought out of my mind. (and i've been going on and off a hundred diets for the past 3 years, if I had stuck to them I would've probably lost 50 kilos!)

Ok, I think that' s enough ranting and moaning for 1 post,again I apologize for his, I'm not usually so negative, and I could've held off posting this until I was feeling better, but I hope you understand, I just need to share.

Thank for reading...
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Joined: Tue May 24, 2011 8:33 pm

Re: New: excuse the negativity!

Postby CronicBadger » Sun May 29, 2011 4:26 pm

Hi Issakova

Many of us have been where you are emotionally. It's not unusual, and once identified for what it is it gets easier as steps are taken to alleviate the problem.

I also have had weight problems since my early teens. It wasn't too bad until my mid-twenties when a couple of years of fast food from the TAFE cafeteria combined with youthful denial saw me balloon out in a quite unhealthful manner.

The best thing I can suggest from experience is that if dieting doesn't work then don't do it. Don't keep repeating mistakes.

What is probably needed is a lifestyle change - change the relationship you have with food. The phrase "going on a diet" suggest something that you can jump on and jump off easily with little thought or consequence. This can be avoided by incorporating a new way of thinking about food into everyday life so that it simply is not possible to just "jump off it" - sort of like it is very difficult to just jump off things like breathing or smiling when your happy.

A change of eating-related habits has to become habitual to the point where you no longer think that it is anything other than normal (like breathing and smiling).

How a person can go about this depends on their individual makeup. Personally, I've found that doing something for a few weeks in a focused manner, such as recently cutting out bread, alcohol and diet cola from my diet, makes it become a normal part of my life. If I slip up after that, I now consider it abnormal rather than "going back to normal" - a mental outlook that makes a HUGE difference.

You say you're "lost and don't know what to do"? Hmm, I suspect that if you're anything like 99.9 percent of the population you actually DO know what to do and are just dithering about embracing fundamental change. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but the end result is worth it. Don't wait for when you feel okay enough to start - people often NEVER feel quite ready for things such as this. Just do it. Once you pass a few weeks of doing and thinking differently it becomes easier.

And don't forget that each member of this forum has had to do what you are about to begin - change eating habits, address negative emotions, live better. It's tough at times, but can be done. Use the forum and articles on the main website. Speak with people. Participate in the discussions. Stay focused. Losing weight and becoming healthy all over is doable - it just has to be done.
Striving to improve in every way possible.
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Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 1:36 am
Location: Lake Macquarie, NSW

Re: New: excuse the negativity!

Postby issakova » Mon May 30, 2011 5:28 pm

Thank you so much for your reply, and for putting things into perspective. I just re-read what I wrote, and boy was I feeling bad that day!

I'm feeling better today, and not so fatalistic. I completely agree with you, it's just about doing it.

I will keep coming back here for support and motivation.

Thanks again!
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue May 24, 2011 8:33 pm

Re: New: excuse the negativity!

Postby breebby » Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:56 pm

i feel your pain. my son is now 2 and im sitting on a very uncomfortable 74kgs. i have done it all in the past tow yrs, every new diet and every new workout routine. being 21 yo single mum came with enough pressures before being overwight, i think all that matters tho is that we have enough guts to stand up and try again, and again and again if neccessary. u should be proud of that :) thats something not alot of people can do, some just come to accept it. good on u. im sure u will do great!
SW 74
GW 60
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Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:30 pm

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