First, I'd like to apologize for my coming introduction which will probably be quite negative and even perhaps self-pitying (arghh!). I'm sorry, but I really need to share, in the hope that someone might relate and offer me some hope.
I'm 37, and have been struggling with my weight since age 15. For the first 20 years or so, it was manageable. Gain 6 kilos, lose 4, gain 10 kilos, lose 8 and on, and on. Overall, I was ok with myself, even if I complained about my weight and wanting to lose weight. Whenever the scales tipped too high, I would get on a diet (tried them all) and successfully lose weight. Until next time.
This was all until I got pregnant and had my baby 3 years ago. I put on an insane amount of weight during pregnancy (18 kilos) on an already overweight frame.
Dealt with postpartum for about 4 months post delivery. I dealt with it by crying a lot and repressing the rest of my feelings, and eating of course.
For the past 3 years, I've struggled enormously to lose some weight. This has never happened to me before, not being able to stick to a diet long enough to lose a significant amount of weight. At my highest (pre-pregnancy) I reached 68 kilos, and never stayed there long. I'm about 71 or 72 kilos now, the lowest I can reach is 69.5 and that's after a huge struggle. it doesn't last either, I'm immediately back up to 71.
I just can't seem to stick to a diet, or to eat moderately. It feels like I'm constantly stuffing myself and I'm totally unable to stop.
I'm tired of this situation, and I'm tired of trying but I'm very unhappy with my weight and my body. So at the moment I'm lost and don't know what to do. The mere thought of putting myself on a diet depresses so much I just push the thought out of my mind. (and i've been going on and off a hundred diets for the past 3 years, if I had stuck to them I would've probably lost 50 kilos!)
Ok, I think that' s enough ranting and moaning for 1 post,again I apologize for his, I'm not usually so negative, and I could've held off posting this until I was feeling better, but I hope you understand, I just need to share.
Thank for reading...