My name is LaLa (no, but yes) and I weigh 123.3kgs (as of last week) and I have never been this heavy. I have always been heavy though. And I have always been in denial. And just writing this had brought me to tears. All 23 years of my life I have been the fat one. In my group of friends, and in my family. I have not always been the out of shape one. Or the one that LOOKS the fattest, but I have alway been the fattest. And until now I have been plodding along, with half arsed, short lived attempts to lose weight occasionally.
I can't honestly say what has changed now. I joined a gym last week for the first time in 3 years. And I'm actually enjoying going, I'm doing interval training which I am finding enjoyable, has anyone had success with interval training here, or has experience with it (good or bad)?
I'm scared I won't stick with it this time. I'm scared all I'll see in my wedding photos will be my fat. I'm scared when I get pregnant I won't have a glorious baby belly. I'm scared I'll get bigger and bigger.
I'm sick of being the way I am, mainly because of the way others treat me. I may be crazy, but sometimes I feel people treat me differently because of my weight and judge me harshly. Just the other night at work I wasn't included in the invites for the work basketball team. What, because I wouldn't want to? Or because I couldn't? Man it stung.
I'm not unmotivated. I'm not "lazy". I'm a Registered Nurse in one of the top 3 busiest Emergency Departments in NSW and let me tell you it wasn't roses getting here. I've traveled S.E.A alone. I've reached all of my goals.
I have a beautiful boyfriend, who adores me. And I wanna be my best for him. And to be honest his new found fitness goals have done something to motivate me.
I suppose I am looking for some support here. I would never openly discuss my weight with friends/family because I feel embarrassed and defensive.
Thanks for reading and I hope to enjoy being an active member of this forum
FYI I am now 122.6kg today and 170cm tall.
Cheers,
LaLa
