Hi Jess. Thanks for pouring your heart out to us
I have battled my weight for years, and it may take another many years for it to come off!
I think it would be great if you could start to believe in yourself again. Start my writing some positive affirmations on the mirror... Like "I am a beautiful person" and "I will try my very best today at everything I do".
Sometimes all the advice in the world can only lessen your belief in yourself. You must STOP all that negative self talk. As the old saying goes "What you think about, you bring about". Try not to think of 'all this weight' you have to lose, but rather just the next kilo. Try to think of how great it will feel when you see those scales one kilo lighter.
I don't think you can say fruit and vege are expensive... seriously, they are no more expensive than junk food!!
You don't need weightwatchers either. Try looking at calorie king online, you can buy a full program with them (nearly exactly like online weightwatchers without all the bells and whistles) for like 30 bucks!
Try to envision yourself slim again. You can acheive ANYTHING you want to, YOU and nobody else is in complete control of who you are and who you want to be.
You can do it. Just take one day at a time.