Nath needing a new start

[Lowie57]

Hi guys my name is Nathan,

This is my first post on this forum, and to be honest i sat here for about 30 minutes debating whether i should join or not simply out of self shame i guess, i know i have a problem but i'm quite afraid to face up to it knowing that i have to face a few demons before anything will improve. but, i finally decided that its probable best to be apart of a community of people who have gone through what i am currently going through, and perhaps i could gain knowledge and motivation from others.

So.. a little about me?

I am a 23 year old guy, currently weighing in at an unhealthy 127kgs my goal weight at this point in time is to hit 100kgs. I have been at this weight pretty steadily for about 2 years now, not really gaining anything other than unhappiness, and definitely not losing anything other than a lot of life opportunities. I would say i started gaining weight when i was around 11-12 years old, i had a tough upbringing, mum and dad were always stressed out and moving because dad was heavily into drugs and we always had to move because people were chasing him for money etc.. and things fell apart with mum and dad, they separated, and not long after that he passed away from a heroin over dose, i think i dealt with the loss by binge eating, i guess it was something that made me feel better at the time, and somehow it evolved into a habit and i have been dealing with the eating disorder ever since, ( i think that's the first time i have actually called it a disorder before)

I never admitted to my self that i had a problem because.. i felt as tho i didn't have a problem, when i was in my teens, i knew i was fat, i was always self conscious of it, but physically i could always keep up with most other people, i was always very strong for my age, (broad build), i could run really fast, albeit not for very long haha, and i had a pretty good social life, but as i have gotten older, the friends drop off, the activities drop off, and im left with just myself at this point in time, alone and very unhappy.

I use to be quite active in martial arts/Kick boxing in my teens up until i was 18 years old when it all changed. I was in a kick boxing training session, and the very last round house kick of the session, i blew my knee out, i tore my meniscus pretty heavily, and the group i was training with were very much into natural alternatives towards healing and recovery, so being young, i trusted their judgement, and for a few months i did natural treatments, which in the end got me absolutely no where, and only left me with a strong hatred and grudge against everyone there. And after that i just stopped, i stopped training, i stopped trying to manage my weight, i basically gave up on life because i could not afford to have an operation on my knee, i had no private health insurance, so i basically had to suck it up and keep soldiering on with day to day life. I have missed out on so much of my life over the last 5 years because of this, and i think deep down i still hold a grudge for not being placed in able hands to recover and prevent me from losing so much of life. Only this year i have decided to take out private health insurance, so hopefully in about 10 months i time i can look at getting my knee fixed.

Another one of my problems is, i am an online gaming addict, i spend my weekends, my nights after work, gaming online. I always told myself "its just your wind down, everyone has something they use to unwind, and mine is gaming" but truth is, its not my unwind tool, its basically my life. Just like all the stereotypes of using games to escape reality.. I am that stereotype. It gives me a sense of accomplishment (even though its digital and not real) it helps me forget all the crap that goes on in life, it literally absorbs me and takes me away, in good ways, but mostly bad. because it takes me away from friends, family, possible relationships, life experiences. Honestly, i don't know how to break this habit because i have been heavily into gaming from about the age of 3-4 years old. its always been apart of my life, and i cant see my life without it, perhaps i just need to learn how to moderate it better. I believe it is also a big factor into why my ex girlfriend whom i lived with for nearly 2 years started cheating on me, i gave my attention to my games, and not her, so she sort after it elsewhere..

So here i am today, seeking help, because i need it, i'm overweight, unhappy, unmotivated, depressed, alone.. and its my fault and no one else's, people can show me the door, but i am the one that has to walk through it. i have eaten healthily and exercised before, but i only ever seems to last 1-2 weeks max before i just.. stop. cant be bothered, have no energy, ill do it tomorrow excuses, i think enough is enough and i need to act now, before the prime of my life slips past me.

A long introduction i know, but it felt good to get a little off my chest

[Retire_The_Fat]

Lots of negatives but also, lots of positives

You've identified a lot of your problems.
You're preparing to deal with them and let the past stay where it should be.....in the past!
You have a job so are not spending your whole time in denial (gaming)
You have an active history so no reason for not being active again
You've recognised the ONE person who can help you........you!

Take each day as it comes and dont push yourself so far that you create failure and more reasons for not believing in yourself.

[Lowie57]

Thanks for the reply

I think that is one thing i need to focus on, i generally get into a very low self esteem and when i try and work towards better, i put a lot of pressure on myself, and i want it to be right, right now! and it gets too much and i feel as tho when i take a day off from trying to be healthy, i put myself down quite a bit and that makes me lose motivation. I think about it every day, "you need to start today" "why dont you start today?" and it gets a little much. Im the kind of person that when i want something done, i want it done right now. and i guess weight loss doesn't really work in that way. Definitely in need of some self discovery i think.

[Lowie57]

Hi guys, i'm back again, its been a while!

Just wanted to let you guys know i haven't fallen off the bandwagon after my first post, been super busy with work and family that the forum kinda slipped my mind a little >_<!

As far as weight loss goes, i only lost about 2kg's since my first post, which isn't great due to me being lazy and not exercising, but i have been working on my diet quiet a bit, i am making sure i plan meals out these days instead of getting to 6pm some nights and thinking.. Christ! i don't know what to eat and end up just getting take away instead. And i have been cooking extra when i cook dinner so i have a few extra meals for lunch at work during the week, i think not taking lunch to work is/was one of my biggest downfalls, its so easy just to go buy something at the local tuck shop!

Most of my days are somewhat the same in most respects as to what i eat, most days consist of something like this

Breakfast - 1 Cup oats with a drizzle of honey, Cup of water, 2 fish oil capsules, on the odd day i would substitute the oats for 1 cup of Muesli.
Morning tea, Piece of fruit, either a banana or apple, depending on my mood i guess, and a Muesli bar (roughly 200cal in the bar)
Lunch - Mostly what ever i had for dinner the night before, i don't really know how to calculate calories in food i cooked myself just yet, i generally use so many ingredients and i don't measure exactly how much i put in.
Afternoon tea - Low fat Yogurt and a Handful of Almonds or a Piece of Fruit,
Dinner - Usually Chicken and some sort of stir fry veggies with rice, i am trying to cut back on the amount of rice/pasta i eat, so this week i have a fridge full of vegetables that i am going to steam to have with my meats, i have chicken breasts and i got a piece of rump steak that i cut up into 3rd's, each piece is roughly the size of my palm.

Oh and i also have been successful at quitting smoking for 2 weeks now, i am quite proud of myself for this i have tried to quit a few times prior, but i always had the urge that i NEEDED to buy more smokes, and craved them constantly, but this time around, i woke up in the morning, and just decided.. i don't want them anymore. I didn't think "I need to quit" i thought "i want to quit" that made a huge difference.. i have found it quite easy this time around, i'm not getting ahead of myself because there just might be days in the future where i'm tempted or might crave one, but for now, i am happy with where i am at and the money i'm saving! gosh! i calculated it to be roughly $4,000 a year i spent on smokes! how insane is that?!?!

I think a major push for this was i had a Work Health Check about a week before i quit, and it was pretty bad, everything that was not meant to high, was high. I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol (this one shocked me, the safe range is a rating of 4, mine was 7.4), obviously my waist size is too high, this is pretty bad for a 23 year old. The only positive that i had from it was that my blood sugar level was normal. I am glad i took the health check, and i am making slow progress towards becoming healthier, the next step is to add exercise! Which.. me being lazy like i'm used to, will be a big hurdle. But every hurdle is made to be jumped over i guess

So that's whats going down in my life atm.. I aim to be on here more frequently and make my own progress thread.. Thanks to all those who read my posts i know they are somewhat long, so i appreciate it sincerely

Oh and also! does anyone have any suggestions on how to add flavour to boiled/steamed vegetables that isn't going to blow out my calorie intake?!

[Sharrelle]

Hi Nath

Great to have you back.
Well your first step was to acknowledge the issues you have in your life, if you don't own up to them how can you change them.
It seems you have a lot going on in your life so you need to tackle the bigger ones first as it is difficult to fix everything at once.
How about you focus on the big 1 or 2 things and chip away on a daily basis these.

You are amongst people here who are all dealing with weight issues like yourself, don't feel like you are alone...we all have different ways of approaching the challenge.

1. Make a daily pledge of what you will or won't do each day, write it down either here in the forum or in a book.
2. Make a food diary. Many here write down at the end of the day what they had and it helps.
3. Made a commitment each day for some form of exercise, weather walking around the block for 30 mins, walking up to the shops, etc.....write it down and do it.....if you don't then roll it over for the next day.
4. Join our 12 week weightloss challenge....write down in a thread your 12 week goal (maybe 1kg per week) start with your starting weight and work down. Weight yourself each week and check in if you are

Here is a link from this site which has many tools to help....http://www.weightloss.com.au/weight-loss-tools.html. This page has a good range from BMI calculator, energy needs calculator, food diary, exercise diaries etc....all for free, have a look.

Its a start, everyone needs to start somewhere and this is a great place to start.

As far as veges go, steam them then chuck them in a non stick fry pan with a little garlic or ginger and give them a quick stir fry...this will add some taste or my not so good tip which I really shouldn't do is sprinkle with grated Parmesan cheese....

Keep us updated on your progress, I am sure others will have other tips for you.

Sharrelle

[CronicBadger]

Hi Nathan

You're at about the same point I was two years ago when I decided to lose weight. 127Kg, chronically bad eating habits since early teens, etc.

Sharrelle's covered most of the basics, so I won't repeat them. Here's what I've found to be helpful:

* Try to build good long-term habits such as controlling what's available. This can be done by cooking extra food so it can be eaten later rather than having to get takeaway. Also, snack on fibrous, water-laden foods like fruit and veges - these have low energy densities, unlike processed foods which are often high in energy and thus less filling per volume.

* Change forever. New habits, new way of looking at food.

* Act like, and make decisions that a thin healthy person would make. Why are thin healthy people thin and healthy? Because they do stuff that thin healthy people do!

* Minimise processed food. Processed food is processed for reasons of shelf-life and economy. It is difficult to avoid totally, but it's not all bad as long as safer, informed choices are made.
For example, the wheat used in white flour has the wheatgerm removed because that makes wheat go rancid and lowers its storage life dramatically. But it also removes much of the nutritional value of the resulting flour. This sort of thing happens with a lot of processed foods and at some point in their manufacture some components that were removed are reintroduced, such as adding treated wheat germ back into breadmaking flour, or adding cheap and nasty flavour enhancers to something , such as salt, sugar and fat, to to give it taste.

* Maximise intake of filling, low energy density foods. Fibrous vegetables (but go easy on the starchy ones like rice and potatoes) and fruit (no more than 2 or 3 pieces per day). Lean protein such as fish and kangaroo. But seriously, learn to love vegetables - they're the key.

* Avoid fruit juice, even 100%, like the plague. It's junk food.

* Work on the mind: Practice meditation and other mental exercises. Read books. Learn something new every day. A flexible mind is more receptive to new ideas such as new habits and ways of looking at and treating both food and body.

* Keep a food diary. Sharrelle's already mentioned it, but I reckon it can't be mentioned often enough. It helps maintain focus, helps calculate daily energy input, and helps a person to be honest about what goes in their mouth - it's very easy to "conveniently forget" a snack and continue eating later as if it didn't happen, but when it's recorded in the diary then that can serve as a spur to avoid overeating.

* Boiled vegetables can be made tastier by adding chilli flakes to the pot!It makes even the blandest vegetables (carrots, onions) quite interesting.

Anyway, keep up the good work. Losing weight and becoming healthy is the best thing ever and worth the initial "sacrifices". I refer to the "sacrifices" that way because although giving up regular takeaway and other junk food may seem as such initially, you'll discover later on that they're not really sacrifices but the removal of ballast that was weighing down and slowing down your life.

[Lowie57]

Thank you guys for such positive replies made my day!

All the suggestions and ideas were great! gives me alot to think about!

The 12 week challenge sounds interesting! i will have a look into all that

And thanks ChronicBadger and Sharrelle for the Veggie tips, i am going to try the boiled water with chilli flakes tonight, and also toss them in some garlic when its cooked!, incorporating both ideas into the one

There is a public swimming pool about 10-15 minutes walk from here, i am going to go for a swim tomorrow night, i used to train for competitive swimming when i was a youngin.. i can only assume its just like riding a bike, i may be a little self conscious though >_< thats my only worry i guess.

Thanks again peeps

[SeanDC]

Hi Nath,

In your first post you talked about online gaming being a problem. Have you ever seen the TV show called "I Used To Be Fat"? There was one episode that might give you some inspiration The link is Address is here http://www.putlocker.com/file/488FA18BFD43D8B8&smaller# .

About food, look I hate to tell you this but the only way your going to lose the weight is to count calories. And find out your BMR. The reason you are giving up after 1-2 weeks is that your probably limiting your food choices in a hope to limiting your calories. If you actually understood how many calories you could eat each day and still lose weight it would make it a lot easier to stick with. This is why you need to know your BMR (base metabolic rate). I just went to an online BMR calculator and found out that yours is about 2582.57. This means that you can eat 2582.57 calories a day and still lose weight. Without doing any exercise. All weight loss is the calories you consume vs the calories you burn. Not complicated. And if you are not drinking any of your calories (you can still have diet soft drinks and water) all your caloric intake can be in the food which means the volume of food is greater. Counting calories is essential. I thought it was annoying at first as well, but after about three weeks you get to know this stuff off by heart. One book that can help you with calories is the Calorie king pocket book. it lists all foods and there calories. In Australia we mainly use kilojoules (which are confusing) but if your any good at math the conversion is simple divide the kilojoules amount by 4.2. That's it, then you have the calorie amount for that food. I do know a little bit about weight loss having lost a significant amount my self. I have been where you are and know exactly what it is like.

You need to find your own motivation for doing this. Nothing I or anyone else will tell you will make any difference unless you are the one who wants it. Your the one who has to make the right food choices when your starving and your driving past a MCDonalds or KFC, you're the one who has to get up at 5.00 am to get you exercise done, rain, hail or shine, think about what will happen if you don't do it you will most likely die young or have a bad life, these thought should inspire you to change. You have to develop an "Iron Will". Sounds corny I know but you have to be able to say no. Trust me after a while the craving for junk foods lessens and it becomes easier, but never fully goes away.

It is possible Nath. Develop the IRON WILL. And just so you don't think I am talking out of my you know what, part of my story in the link below

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRgL2DDl ... ature=plcp

[Lowie57]

thanks for your reply SeanDC!

I watched the gamer video you posted up, it was quite inspiring, i was amazed at how much his fitness improved in that short amount of time. but as for completely giving up my games... i dont want to do that, i just want to moderate them a bit more.

And congratulations to you on your weight loss! great before and after pics in your video

[Metalcharm]

I LOVED I Used to Be Fat .. was a great show. I only saw one where the person failed .. for the most part it was a very positive show and quite inspiring as well.

[SeanDC]

Metalcharm it's great show. There are two seasons. Really gave me inspiration. Another one was exteme makeover weightloss edition. The best place for these types of shows is www.tv-links.eu/ just search and it will give you links.