hey all im back
i was away in nsw for a while and have been ill and also bf has been having mental health issues that have been dealing with
that is manly what i want to talk about i hope that is ok , maybe some one has advice
well my partner is 21 and has been suffering with mental health issues since before i meet him - depression and other things as well
over the last few months it has been a some what constant fight with anxiety /panic disoder. although i feel like we are making steps in the right direction, i also feel worried and concerned that this is going to be our lifes ( even though his dc has said overwise) i would just like to say that i love him and there is no chance of us breaking up or our relationsip suffering through this but as i am sure u understand it has been hard seeing him so unhappy
his disorder includes him having full on shaking , breathing very fast , thoughts such as everything bad is his fault, some one is watching us when we are in our house, i am mad with him is one that he has alot and also the worst is the traffic lights are either judging him or brain washing him .. this is at his worst
i feel so horrid so even thinking about posting this and i feel like i will be judged or told to leave him so if there is feedback like that please dont write as i really dont need that atm sorry if that sound horrid but i am a little rundown and sick
i am hoping that with help from his doctor we are seeing thrusday that it will shine some light and maybe show a light at the end of the tunnel .... i am feeling like no matter wat i do im not helping ( i have anxiety disoder myself so i know wat to do and say to help him and also have been though tafe and going though uni studying human services and just completed psychology)
i had the chance to speak with his mother today who i felt understands that i am want her son healthy again and am willing to do any thing to help make that happen and she also said she understand i must be tired, being sick atm and dealing with bad turns isnt easy .... having lost my voice a few times laterly and now not having my hearing because of a middle ear infection made today very hard to take care of him.
i feel bad to say that i am happy that his staying at his parents as he feel asleep when we were there so i am at home alone very tired but also happy to have the house to myself and i was able to get the kitchen clean ( havent been ale to because of health and mental health)
i really havent been getting much sleep cuz of being sick and i think tonight will be the same cuz im alone
i think i should stop now and go and make a coffee
thanks for letting me vent