Hello gorgeous girls,
I've been looking at this forum for a week or so, working up the courage to join, then figuring out how to work the ticker (not sure I've done it right; suppose we'll see today!), and finally working up even more courage to write a post.
Like most of you I have tried so many times before to lose weight. Somtimes I have done it and sometimes I've fallen of the wagon within a few days or weeks (more often than not it's only hours!!). No matter how much I lose though I always put it back on.
At the moment I'm at the heaviest I've ever been and have been feeling really emotional and teary about it for a while now. Last week I went shopping to try and lift my spirits, because I was feeling so frumpy and fat and decided to spruce up my wardrobe and be more glamorous. Unfortunately the trip had the opposite effect as I was repeatedly disappointed at how awful everything looked, the fact that nothing fit me and also bcause I kept catching glimpses of myself in the mirrors under the flourescent lights- horrifying
When my fiance got home that night I was feeling so fragile and sad that I burst into tears straight away. He was wonderful, as he always is- very supportive and loving- but I keep thinking about what a let down I must be to him and how he must secretly wish that I was thinner.
When I met Julian I was about 10 kgs lighter and felt much better about myself, even though that weight was still 10kg over my goal. Since we've been together though we have been bad influences on each other and have eaten out a lot, ordered in and generally been extravagent. Also, I know that for me exercise is the vital ingredient and I haven't done any since we've been together- it's far too tempting to stay in bed in the mornings and snuggle up than get up and go to the gym.
Now that we are engaged I have decided to really committ myself to getting healthy and losing this extra weight. I've just turned 31 in the past few weeks and we're planning our wedding for December this year. So now my vow to myself is that I am going to take control of my health and get in shape. It's important to me to look beautiful on my wedding day, but it's more important to me that I am happy and healthy and full of life in order to give everything I can to my future husband and the family we'll have together one day.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I've enjoyed reading all of yours and am impressed by how supportive you all are of each other and of the dedication and committment you each show in your own weight loss journeys.
So, here's hoping this time I do it- once and for all!