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My story

Postby Aquarian » Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:12 pm

This is my first time at a forum of this type, I am hoping that if I do things differently THIS time around I may have more success.
I have struggled with my weight all of my life, as have my siblings. I know it is easy to do, but I think some responsibility lies with our parents. They are in there 60's now, divorced, and both overweight, maybe obese, have multiple health probs, hypertension, diabetes, cardio vascular, emphysemia, the list goes on. They both love and live for takeaway, and junk, and physical activity would just about kill them. I can't help but think their habits have also rubbed off on us. I was also teased or put down by my father for being fat ( who is himself, a picture of extreme unhealth). I had to leave school at 14 as by this time I had attended 22 different schools due to my fathers gypsy lifestyle. I do think all of these factors did have some effect on how we turned out. I think I turned to food to replace the lack of friends due to us moving all of the time. I also remember how frightened, embarrassed, and horrified I was on my first day at a new school, smack bang in the middle of the year, where everyone had already paired off and made friends, and I was the odd one out. This affected me to the max once I started high school as peer acceptance etc was soooo important at that age. I do hate my father for that, and funnily enough that may also be contributing to my probs today. But it is time to take responsibility for my own life and well being. I have dieted myself stupid over the years with only short term success.
I had an injury 10 years ago which made exercising difficult for me.I had gastric staples done about 20 years ago. It was successful in that I lost weight, but the side effects were not worth it. Agonising pain upon eating anything, and then gallstones. The weight loss side of it was successful- lost 40 kgs- but only kept it off for 10 years. The reason for the loss was the pain of eating was too great therefore I didn't. Now that I am a little bit wiser, I can see that nothing was learnt in this, no training on healthier eating, no knowledge of healthier lifestyle, just forced to lose due to the pain of eating.
This time last year I became very very motivated to lose weight. For 8 weeks I stuck to 1200 calories per day, upped my protein, lowered my carbs, did cardio 40 mins 5-6 days a week, and weight training everyday, alternating upper and lower body. Was doing ok with a 8 kg loss in 8 weeks, then my back said NO it a huge way. Several specialists and surgeons later I am told a have quite severe lower back problems ( genetics and lifestyle induced ), during the months it took to get a diagonosis I put 4 of those kilos back on due to inactivity and being almost bedridden I relied on my other half to take care of meals which usually was take out roast chicken, pasta salad, potato salad etc, as my partner pretty much can't boil water. To avoid the surgery suggested to me I have performed intense physio which has so far got me to here.

My intentions were good, cut my calories to 1500 per day as this amount would hopefully be sustainable over the long haul, and walk for about an hour a day. The calorie part was not a problem, but the walking was difficult in that I would set aside a time when I would go, then the phone would ring, or someone would drop in, or it would rain etc etc etc. So I was averaging 1 or 2 walks per week which is probably a waste of time for weight loss. My partner and I discussed it, and even though we could least afford it , a treadmill was the answer. I can tell you it has made a huge difference and I have absolutely no excuse now. Rain, hail or shine, daylight or darkness, I can, and do, walk every day. Last week I clocked up 28kms, which in the past would have taken me a couple of months to get around to. Of course I have to be careful, I have gel padded shoes and a soft running deck on the treadie, and unlike in the past I stop the second I feel any pain. Funny thing is, the walking has been great for my back and I have actually had some pain free days
without medication.
My reasons for losing weight are wide and varied, I want to be healthier of course and I think as you get older you tend to listen more and realise you can't keep going at this rate without consequences. I would love to go into somewhere like just jeans etc and buy off their rack, I would love more eneregy. My partner is extremely fit and stunning to look at, and I know it is not even a thought with us, but I know people look at us as a couple- and think - short and fat with fit and gorgeous what an odd couple, or what does she have ... this has caused some jealousy on my part, I think it is a natural thing as when you are obese you usually have low self esteem and confidence. My partner is aware of this and goes to all lengths to reassure me, and if anyone openly acts this way, it is the biggest turn off as far as my partner is concerned and that person does not get the time of day, just a cold shoulder.
So vanity is playing a part in this, but most of all I think my parents health situation has really brought it home to me.
I am 85 kgs now and want to lose 20kgs overall. My plan is to break it into 5kg segments and have a mini celebration for each 5kg
triumph, hopefully that will motivate me for the next 5kg. I look forward to reading all of the diet tips, exercise tips, and your personal journeys.
Thank you - Aquarian
A closed mouth gathers no feet
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Postby Luna » Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:30 pm

Welcome to the forum! I'm a newbie here myself but am really getting inspired by everyones' stories and all the interesting info on here. I wish you all the best of luck with your weight loss and I'm sure you will succeed and get to your goal. I also started off at 85kgs and am about halfway to my 20kg loss goal. See you around on the forum. :)
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Postby Vegetable » Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:07 pm

Thanks for sharing all that :)
You will find some lovely ppl and some great motivation on these boards :D
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Wed Apr 25, 2007 3:41 pm

hi aquarian

thanks for sharing that with us. i am sure it helped you as well to get it off your chest and share that with other people who may have similar experiences. take it easy and sing out if you need anything :)

best wishes
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Postby milkyway » Wed Apr 25, 2007 4:15 pm

Hi Aquarian - thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I am sure you have developed many skills and attributes from your childhood that people admire and serve you well in life - like being adaptable, resilient and flexible.

Your father's teasing was probably just projecting unhappy thoughts about his own body and unhealthy lifestyle onto you.

It also sounds like you've got a really good support system there with your partner - he sounds like a real gem :)

I look forward to hearing about your continued progress.
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
SW: 74.3kg - 1/1/09
CW: 71.1kg - 3/5/09
GW 62kg
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Postby KimE » Wed Apr 25, 2007 5:18 pm

Hello Aquarian and welcome to the forum.

Thanks for sharing some of your life with us, it is appreciated. It sounds like you have a plan set up and with focus and determination you will get healthier and learn better eating and exercise habits as well.

Your partner sounds like a rock and it is great if he is supportive as I found it really can go a long way as well as having a forum of people like this to understand some of where you are and have been.

I also started around 85kgs and now I think I am fitter at 38 than what I was at 18. So all the best on your journey and look forward to reading your progress. :D
Kim - To thine own self be true
Maintainence since 04/11/06
Preferred Weight - Under 60 kgs
Current Weight - 64.8 kgs
Start Weight - 85 kgs
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Postby Chelle » Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:13 pm

Hey welcome to the forum. A gypsy life that must of been hard on you as a child. You have the right idea mini goals, you have done it before you can to it again. Well done & goodluck with your weight loss.
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Postby slimmindown » Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:49 pm

Hi and welcome. I feel your pain in regards to both your father and your back pain. My father was less than a great role model and took out a lot of frustrations on us kids and i too had a back injury last year and have overcome it with exercise and healthy habits.

I look forward to seeing you reach every mini goal and your ultimate goal as well. welcome to the forum ,the guys and girls here are fantastic :D :D :D
[no excuses, I can do it!
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:12 pm

Hi Aquarian and welcome to the forum! Sounds like you know the theory, it's just time to put it into practice and we will be here to support you!
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby Maxx » Fri Apr 27, 2007 2:38 pm

Hello and Welcome Aquarian,
I have to say I can relate to your story in some degree AND know and understand how hard it is growing up with weight problems. I love reading about other peoples stories AND how they are going about making something of their weight!

I wish you the best AND know how contageous a treadmill is.. i wish i had one myself! i miss my old working days where i spent at the gym b4 and after work..

I DO hope to hear more about you and your success and look forward to seeing more of you aroudn the forum!

ALL the best
GOAL 1: GIVE up COKE for 30 days
DAYS ACHIEVED: 0 of 30 (back 2 square one) Last attempt lasted 7 days
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Postby Aquarian » Fri Apr 27, 2007 7:15 pm

thanks to all for the welcome and encouragement, my 'gem' surprised me today with a nice pair of size 14 black slacks and a sleeveless size 14 white button up top (AARGH!! sleeveless is scary considering alot of fat stores go to the back of your arms). Gem (new nickname- I can't seem to shake it) must have faith in me as I certainly can't fit into them yet, but will make sure that day comes.
I too, like hearing of others journeys, you can usually find something to relate to, then it makes it that much more real for you, especially the great successes. Good on everyone for all their triumphs, am finding great reading here.
A closed mouth gathers no feet
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:18 pm

wow you will fit comfortably and confidently in the new clothes before you know it!!! i wear a lot of sleeveless tops and i have bat wings! however i never wear backless, halter or boob tubes- back fat is the worst and more unappealing thing!
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Postby Sassygirl » Wed May 02, 2007 11:46 am

I never bare my shoulders at all (I got burnt as a child so have some scars there!!). Very selfconscious about them (and the fact that they are sooooooooo white hehehehe). Welcome aboard - looking forward to getting to know you!!
2008 - my year to be great!!

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