It is currently Mon May 01, 2017 3:25 pm
Yup, newbie doing the intro thing.
My name is Marti, short for Martina. I'm 19 and atm I live in Canberra, but my home town is Numeralla, a tiny little place near Cooma in NSW. I'm in Canberra for uni, studying drama and science communication at ANU. I've nearly finished my first year, and I'm loving it.
I've been overweight my whole life. I was always the fat kid at school, and I got picked on a lot. I've also attempted to diet for most of that time, probably since I was about 10.
For the past few years, I've adopted the "I don't care" approach, telling everyone else that I really don't care about how big I am. I've said it so much I almost believe it. And I'm okay with being fat, most of the time. It doesn't help that I've got a really huge build, so I don't look nearly as overweight as I am. So I tell myself hey, I look alright, so I must be alright.
But my dream is to be an actor. And there are only so many roles going for 19 year old girls, and none of them are for fat girls. It sucks going to an audition and KNOWING I would have gotten the role if I was a normal size. But I'm the fat one.
So I'm going to change it. Starting from second semester this year, I've been working really hard. I started at 117.8kg, and I'm aiming for 67.8kg, to make a nice even 50kg. I'm tall, so that should put me well within the healthy BMI. So far I'm down 6.7kg to 111.1kg. It's very up and down, but I've made the commitment that I will never again be 117.8 or more, and so far I'm good.
The hardest thing for me is admitting to other people that I'm trying to loose weight. After having said for so long that I don't care, that I'll do whatever I want, it's hard for me to admit I'm trying to change. Right now I'm okay, because you can't actually tell that I'm smaller. But I'm not sure what I'll do when it starts to show up. I've got to be REALLY careful that I don't sabotage myself to avoid telling other people I've lost weight. My first obstacle is in one week, when I pick my mum up from a 6 week holiday. I'm not sure what I'll do if she makes a comment about my weight, and if I deny the fact that I've lost weight, I'll probably go out of my way to prove it, by eating everything in the house. Not sure what to do about that one...
Anyway, I digress. I joined this site because I'm addicted to message boards. I like anonymity of them. And I really find them motivational. I'm a member of a terribly inactive American site, but since this is an Australian site (no more converting to pounds!) and seems hella active, I might switch.
So yep, HI!. I'm Marti. I'm new.
talia11 wrote:HI Martie and welcome! This is definitely a great site and I am sure you will find what you need....
I was interested to see you wrote that you are worried about sabotaging your weight loss by telling people - especially your mum...is there any reason why? I think that may be a great place to start - perhaps when you have a chance sit down with her and let her know you have decided to make the change...if you are already saying that you will try and deny taht you have lost - you may be setting yourself up for the fall....hoepfully all goes well!! x
Rebecca wrote:Hi Marti!
I am new to this board as well. Your circumstances sound very similar to mine. I too have had weight problems all my life that I have felt held me back from a lot of things. I took on the I don't care attitude when really it was hurting me so badly inside. I can absolutely understand where you are coming from about the not letting people know thing. It is almost like when people know they have expectations of you, if you don't succeed it is like something they can hold over your head... that is how I feel anyway. Also, in my circle of friends I have always been the big one, but noone has ever made me feel that way that is my own thing. Telling my friends that I'm dieting or whatever was like admitting a weakness to me... I don't know... it is weird.
Best wishes to you on your journey!
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