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Hello

Postby rivenriver » Fri Oct 05, 2007 11:13 pm

Hi!

Yup, newbie doing the intro thing. ;)

My name is Marti, short for Martina. I'm 19 and atm I live in Canberra, but my home town is Numeralla, a tiny little place near Cooma in NSW. I'm in Canberra for uni, studying drama and science communication at ANU. I've nearly finished my first year, and I'm loving it.

I've been overweight my whole life. I was always the fat kid at school, and I got picked on a lot. I've also attempted to diet for most of that time, probably since I was about 10.

For the past few years, I've adopted the "I don't care" approach, telling everyone else that I really don't care about how big I am. I've said it so much I almost believe it. And I'm okay with being fat, most of the time. It doesn't help that I've got a really huge build, so I don't look nearly as overweight as I am. So I tell myself hey, I look alright, so I must be alright.

But my dream is to be an actor. And there are only so many roles going for 19 year old girls, and none of them are for fat girls. It sucks going to an audition and KNOWING I would have gotten the role if I was a normal size. But I'm the fat one.

So I'm going to change it. Starting from second semester this year, I've been working really hard. I started at 117.8kg, and I'm aiming for 67.8kg, to make a nice even 50kg. I'm tall, so that should put me well within the healthy BMI. So far I'm down 6.7kg to 111.1kg. It's very up and down, but I've made the commitment that I will never again be 117.8 or more, and so far I'm good. ;)

The hardest thing for me is admitting to other people that I'm trying to loose weight. After having said for so long that I don't care, that I'll do whatever I want, it's hard for me to admit I'm trying to change. Right now I'm okay, because you can't actually tell that I'm smaller. But I'm not sure what I'll do when it starts to show up. I've got to be REALLY careful that I don't sabotage myself to avoid telling other people I've lost weight. My first obstacle is in one week, when I pick my mum up from a 6 week holiday. I'm not sure what I'll do if she makes a comment about my weight, and if I deny the fact that I've lost weight, I'll probably go out of my way to prove it, by eating everything in the house. Not sure what to do about that one...

Anyway, I digress. I joined this site because I'm addicted to message boards. I like anonymity of them. And I really find them motivational. I'm a member of a terribly inactive American site, but since this is an Australian site (no more converting to pounds!) and seems hella active, I might switch. :)

So yep, HI!. I'm Marti. I'm new. ;)
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Re: Hello

Postby help6363 » Fri Oct 05, 2007 11:57 pm

rivenriver wrote:Hi!

Yup, newbie doing the intro thing. ;)

My name is Marti, short for Martina. I'm 19 and atm I live in Canberra, but my home town is Numeralla, a tiny little place near Cooma in NSW. I'm in Canberra for uni, studying drama and science communication at ANU. I've nearly finished my first year, and I'm loving it.

I've been overweight my whole life. I was always the fat kid at school, and I got picked on a lot. I've also attempted to diet for most of that time, probably since I was about 10.

For the past few years, I've adopted the "I don't care" approach, telling everyone else that I really don't care about how big I am. I've said it so much I almost believe it. And I'm okay with being fat, most of the time. It doesn't help that I've got a really huge build, so I don't look nearly as overweight as I am. So I tell myself hey, I look alright, so I must be alright.

But my dream is to be an actor. And there are only so many roles going for 19 year old girls, and none of them are for fat girls. It sucks going to an audition and KNOWING I would have gotten the role if I was a normal size. But I'm the fat one.

So I'm going to change it. Starting from second semester this year, I've been working really hard. I started at 117.8kg, and I'm aiming for 67.8kg, to make a nice even 50kg. I'm tall, so that should put me well within the healthy BMI. So far I'm down 6.7kg to 111.1kg. It's very up and down, but I've made the commitment that I will never again be 117.8 or more, and so far I'm good. ;)

The hardest thing for me is admitting to other people that I'm trying to loose weight. After having said for so long that I don't care, that I'll do whatever I want, it's hard for me to admit I'm trying to change. Right now I'm okay, because you can't actually tell that I'm smaller. But I'm not sure what I'll do when it starts to show up. I've got to be REALLY careful that I don't sabotage myself to avoid telling other people I've lost weight. My first obstacle is in one week, when I pick my mum up from a 6 week holiday. I'm not sure what I'll do if she makes a comment about my weight, and if I deny the fact that I've lost weight, I'll probably go out of my way to prove it, by eating everything in the house. Not sure what to do about that one...

Anyway, I digress. I joined this site because I'm addicted to message boards. I like anonymity of them. And I really find them motivational. I'm a member of a terribly inactive American site, but since this is an Australian site (no more converting to pounds!) and seems hella active, I might switch. :)

So yep, HI!. I'm Marti. I'm new. ;)


Hello and welcome

Well done on your weight loss so so....that's fantastic!!! :D

I look forward to reading your success story in the near future.

Oh, I read you are studying acting.....WOW! That's great!!! We will all see you on the 'big screen' in some fantastic movie one day!
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Postby talia11 » Sat Oct 06, 2007 9:23 am

HI Martie and welcome! This is definitely a great site and I am sure you will find what you need....

I was interested to see you wrote that you are worried about sabotaging your weight loss by telling people - especially your mum...is there any reason why? I think that may be a great place to start - perhaps when you have a chance sit down with her and let her know you have decided to make the change...if you are already saying that you will try and deny taht you have lost - you may be setting yourself up for the fall....hoepfully all goes well!! x
Carmen - Weight Watchers -Goal 72kg

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Postby shelbel » Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:39 am

Hi Marti and welcome to the forum.

We're a pretty good bunch of people so stick around and jump in wherever you feel comfortable!
Highest Weight - 93kgs
Current Weight - 68.3kgs
Goal Weight - 65kgs

The wise man Stephen King once said - The only way to go on, is to go on. To say 'i can do this' even when you know you cant

You'll find me in the almost there section :)
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Postby sassi » Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:51 am

hi marti & welcome :)

it can be a big decision to make - it can be hard to admit that you don't like something about yourself. congrats on the weight loss so far :)

at least you have a week to think about how you can deal with the situation with your mum, should it arise. you can always come on here & vent if it gets tough! we're good listeners :D
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Postby milkyway » Sat Oct 06, 2007 11:05 am

Welcome aboard. I look forward to hearing about your progress and your course - sounds like sooo much fun :)
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
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SW: 74.3kg - 1/1/09
CW: 71.1kg - 3/5/09
GW 62kg
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Postby rivenriver » Sat Oct 06, 2007 11:12 am

talia11 wrote:HI Martie and welcome! This is definitely a great site and I am sure you will find what you need....

I was interested to see you wrote that you are worried about sabotaging your weight loss by telling people - especially your mum...is there any reason why? I think that may be a great place to start - perhaps when you have a chance sit down with her and let her know you have decided to make the change...if you are already saying that you will try and deny taht you have lost - you may be setting yourself up for the fall....hoepfully all goes well!! x


I'm not really sure why. I have a few hangups in that area... I really hate compliments, for one, though that makes no sense at all. I hate people telling me that I've done well, because the way I see it I can always do better, and if I think I've done well I'll become complacent. I know that's not a very good attitude to have, but there are very few things that I will actually accept a compliment about, and the way I look is certainly not one of them. I need to get over that, but it's hard.

It's hardest with my mum, cos she's been trying to get me to loose weight my whole life. And I've tried, and I've failed, and she's witnessed it. And she nags me about it, which I hate, so I've been telling her that I don't care. But as soon as I tell her I do care, she'll start nagging me again. And whenever someone tells me to do something, there's this switch inside my head that tells me to do the exact opposite. I rationalise it out until the person who told me to do something is wrong. "Stop watching TV and do your homework", 'Well, the homework isn't that important, I've been wanting to watch this, and there's plenty of time in the ad breaks, and anyway what right do you have to tell me how to improve my grades?', even though before that comment I probably would have left after 5 minutes, since it was said I'll probably sit in front of the TV all evening. Same thing with eating.

I dunno, I'm a nutjob. I know everyone has their own personal issues, I guess this is mine...
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Postby talia11 » Sat Oct 06, 2007 11:57 am

You're not a nutjob - I can kinda see where you are coming from - but you see it clearly it looks like and that a good starting point....!
Carmen - Weight Watchers -Goal 72kg

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Postby charlimc » Sat Oct 06, 2007 12:47 pm

hi and welcome, my advice to you is not to stress to much about ppl knowing your wanting to lose weight, if u really want to u can tell them your losing it for health reasons but you can and did accept yourself for who u are/were when your were overweight you dnt want to change you just want to improve.

i look forward to reading all your progress i started off at 125 and im now 115.5 so it can be done... if i can do it anyone can..... long way to go but it will be soo worth it!

take care
Charli x
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Postby Rebecca » Sat Oct 06, 2007 12:59 pm

Hi Marti!
I am new to this board as well. Your circumstances sound very similar to mine. I too have had weight problems all my life that I have felt held me back from a lot of things. I took on the I don't care attitude when really it was hurting me so badly inside. I can absolutely understand where you are coming from about the not letting people know thing. It is almost like when people know they have expectations of you, if you don't succeed it is like something they can hold over your head... that is how I feel anyway. Also, in my circle of friends I have always been the big one, but noone has ever made me feel that way that is my own thing. Telling my friends that I'm dieting or whatever was like admitting a weakness to me... I don't know... it is weird.

Best wishes to you on your journey!
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Postby rivenriver » Sat Oct 06, 2007 2:51 pm

Rebecca wrote:Hi Marti!
I am new to this board as well. Your circumstances sound very similar to mine. I too have had weight problems all my life that I have felt held me back from a lot of things. I took on the I don't care attitude when really it was hurting me so badly inside. I can absolutely understand where you are coming from about the not letting people know thing. It is almost like when people know they have expectations of you, if you don't succeed it is like something they can hold over your head... that is how I feel anyway. Also, in my circle of friends I have always been the big one, but noone has ever made me feel that way that is my own thing. Telling my friends that I'm dieting or whatever was like admitting a weakness to me... I don't know... it is weird.

Best wishes to you on your journey!


That's EXACTLY how I feel. If I fail, then I've only got myself to blame. But if I tell other people I'm trying, and then I fail, I'll have to own up to them that I failed. And I hate doing that. And yeah, admitting a weakness. I don't like to do that.


Thankyou so much to everyone for welcomming me. :)
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Postby KimE » Sat Oct 06, 2007 6:04 pm

Hello Marti and welcome to the forum.

Well done on your weightloss to date.

All the best on your journey. :D
Kim - To thine own self be true
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Postby rivenriver » Sun Oct 07, 2007 8:44 pm

Thankyou for welcomming me! :)
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Oct 08, 2007 8:08 pm

Hi Marti and welcome to the forum! This one is definitely an active one (turn my back for 5 mins and the membership doubles, not to mention the posts!!)

Good luck with your goals
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby rivenriver » Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:40 pm

Thankyou! :)
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