It is currently Thu Feb 23, 2017 6:55 am
I have learnt many things a long my journey to a new me.
I have always had a fear of matenience, and it was a BIG hurdle and a mental block for me to get motivated to loose weight. for 33 years, I have either been gaining weight, or on a diet.
I have never just stayed the same weight, or maintained my weight. I had always thought I'll cross that bridge when I get to goal weight, but never got to goal, and gave up so many times along the way, and just gaining more and more weight each time I stopped.
but I have learnt how to maintain now, and what I would need to do once I am at goal, and its less scary than i thought. in fact its a really simple thing to maintain weight, and I dotn know why i was so scared before. but now I have crossed that mental hurdle, I am feeling confident to get to goal now, and know it wont be wasted effort gettign there, as I have always been afraid of loosing the weight and then HELLO... its all back again. I know now, that it wont be back, and I have the tools in my brain to make sure it wont get there. I may gain a few kilos again, but thats what you get with birthdays, easter, christmas and enjoying life and its pleasures. but I have have a good balance now, between enjoying life and also burnign the calories eaten in that time too, keeping the IN vs OUT equation pretty equal. Hence the whole maintaining weight thing. its about balance.
My life has been so out of balance, emotional eating rollercoster, food for comfort, high sugar foods for instant energry boost to give me a quick pick me up, and bad unhealthy foods. I felt bad, so ate badly, and ended up in a vicious circle, for years blaming so many things for my unhappiness, when really it all came down to me, and what I put in my mouth.
I feel my eyes are more open and bright, my skin glows and I feel alive. all from the food I eat. (and exercise)
I have learned that having a size 12 or 14 body might look good, but what is going on inside??? that is more important. The dr's hounding me about my weight all the time, when even at 144 kilos, I am probably now healthier than 50% of the skinny people. I dont drink, smoke, or use drugs, and I exercise, eat well, and avoid processed foods. my blood pressure is fantastic level, my cholesterol levels are low, and I dont have diabetes or sleep apnea or anything major.
All thu-out my pregnancies I was told I was at high risk of problems, but never really had any problems, expect marginally raised blood pressure at 9months pregnant with twins. but hey... think about it, 13lbs of baby plus the rest.... and the stress... who wouldnt have high blood pressure???
SO for anybody reading my journal, HI!!! lol, but seriously I hope you can take away from this one thing, that being healthy and loving life is FAR FAR more important than a number on the scales, and the perfect pair of designer size 8 jeans!!! Life is short, live it, love it and embrace it with two hands. take what it has to offer, and go see the world, or the neighborhood even LOL. experience nature, and the raw flavours from nature. there is more to life than a mars bar, and a bag of chips. there is more to the flavours of life than a big mac and fries.
take the path less traveled, and the harder path too. try something new, try out that little indian restaurant you have never dared to try, and take that walk along the beach at sunset instead of eating food on the couch at night.
when you feel lonely and sad, and think to turn to food, take yourself away from the sadness and loneliness, and try join a netball team, or even go for that walk!!!!
Go out, live life and LOVE IT!!!
that is all... LOL
dragonfly wrote:I had a medical done about a week or so ago, and I sure with the dr we have in town at the moment, if the slightest thing was wrong she'd call me up. she is obsessed about weight, and fat people, and tells people they need to loose weight, or they will die. even people in town have been told they are 500grams-1kilo overweight!!! i mean cmon! I poo and loose 1 kilo LOL
so yeah waiting on those results.
So here I sit at 6:15, thinking I need to eat something..... but I feel a bit sick-ish and not hungry at all. hubby is away, and I could just eat the timtams in the freezer, but i dont want them. I dont like frozen chocolate LOL, so they would take 1 hour until they would be ready to eat, the theory is that its too long to wait, and i wouldnt eat them LOL. it does work, sort of. the other night I did take them out and ate 4. LOL
2 slices rye multigrain bread
2 eggs, fried, nonstick pan, no oil.
yogurt and raspberries
bowl of veggie and barley soup
1 box snakata crackers (415 cals)
all-bran cereal 93grms (lol I weighed it lol)
and milk, skim, which i didnt weigh ha ha.
and thats it!!!
I had plans for another bowl of soup and a fruit smoothie.... which i dont feel like.
todays cals would come in at around 1500 then. bit low.
how strange LOL
dragonfly wrote:clothes clean up today.
I went thru my clothes with a very fine toothed comb. I also removed all the tags that could be removed from the tops. I hate tags. I hate how they are harsh and prickly. I also dont need to be reminded that my clothes are anythign from a 14 to a 26.
I chose to keep clothes that made me feel good wearing them, felt comfortable, and looked good on me. the stuff which was too big has been packed to a bag for the op shop. I went to the garden shed and got out last winters clothes. i had items from when i was working in a clothing fashion shop from 10 years ago, they are not my style, they didnt fit well, they werent comfortable, but hey, they were fashion.... BACK THEN!!! so out they go. I dont need a closet full of clothes I wont wear. I want to open the door, grab anything that takes my fancy, and know its all gonna fit, and look good. not the pile of maybe next year, or loose 40kilos pile.
ok ok, I do have 3 things in the loose a bit of weight pile, and I have jeans in 22, 20, and 18 waiting as motivations, but they arent in plain view ifykwim??
I must say I love my closet, and I cant wait for winter now.
and on a side note, I have noticed how much more slimmer my legs are getting already, and it does scare me. like I do love the way they look now, I am scared of them looking skinnier, but I am sure once I see them skinnier I will love them. ok silly mental blockages. be gone!!!
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