last time my family visited, as they live interstate, they shattered my dreams and left me with a knife in my stomach, and I gained 20kilos back. I spiralled out of control, and it all boiled down to the approval I wanted, which I never got.
seriously parents can censored up kids life so bad without knowing it!!!
So expecting a visit again, I prepared myself and knew I wouldnt get the support from them, and as predicted they never said well done, or you look great, keep going, I can see a difference etc. nothing. zip zero zilch, even with hints and prompts like *look at me, my pants fit now*
so I didnt get deflated at their lack of support for weightloss, but I got NO support in another aspect of my life. one thats important, and means alot to me, something I have struggled with a long time, and I got no respect, and no support.
SO once again I have been left shattered, and feel like I am walkign aimlessly around, looking for somewhere to fit in and belong.
I think its time to cut them loose, and stop relying or expecting them to give ANY support at all in ANY aspect of my life. it has become apparent they do not support me, are not proud of me, and probably think I am a failure.
So now I have a mind set that they happen to be my birth parents, and I share the same gene pool as them and other siblings, but thats where it ends.
I will get my support, love and encouragement from people who are proud of me and my life, who do care about what i do, and have done.
I will not gain back 20kilos, maybe 2..... well those eggs at easter LOL.....
and I will walk on forward with or without them.
one day they will look outside their little bubble and realise they dont have a daughter anymore.
I tried, again and again, and like a rubber band, stretched one too many time, I have become brittle and snapped.
I am me, I have a husband, and my five children. I have a few wonderful supportive friends, and these people will be the ones to get news and phone calls, photos and my love.
mum of 5
loosing by eating low fat, natural, organic and fresh
heaviest weight: 189kg
goal weight: 89kg
TOTAL LOST: 45.5kg