Steph's Food Diary! Yay :)

[laughing_sheep]

Late last night I also ate another sesame snap.

Food today:
A peach and some fruit salad, as well as two tubs of forme yoghurt
Lunch at a cafe: grilled chicken baguette with salad and cheese, I only ate about half of the bread though
2 chocolates and some cherries
Dinner was leftover mushroom risotto mixed in with some ground peanuts from the health food shop (so I guess peanut butter really)
Just had some rice crackers too

Walked for over an hour, maybe 75 or 80 minutes. Weakened and bought that heart-shaped box of chocolates I'd had my eye on. Don't feel too bad because I only ate two instead of the whole box, I haven't overeaten or binged today so I'm happy.

[dragonfly]

hi steph,
good on you for not eating that whole box.
I ate my whole box of chocs lol, oops!!! but i did really really enjoy them!!!
valentines tommorow? is there someone special you'll be sharing it with?
hubby and I are going on a 5:30 walk tomorow, and then at night going to climb the rock near the house and watch the sun set.
I love how our romance involves exercise HA HA HA HA.

[laughing_sheep]

hi steph,
good on you for not eating that whole box.
I ate my whole box of chocs lol, oops!!! but i did really really enjoy them!!!
valentines tommorow? is there someone special you'll be sharing it with?
hubby and I are going on a 5:30 walk tomorow, and then at night going to climb the rock near the house and watch the sun set.
I love how our romance involves exercise HA HA HA HA.

Thanks Karin but...yesterday morning I ate the rest of the chocolates in the box (7!) at breakfast time. Oops. Glad to hear you enjoyed your chocolates, we all have to live and I think we all need chocolate in our lives every now and then

Nope I don't have anyone this valentine's day, I don't really care though. Maybe next year, hehe =) I think that climbing a rock together and watching the sun set sounds very romantic, its really crap weather in sydney at the moment. Hope its better where you are and that you have a lovely valentine's day.

Yesterday's food:
Breakfast: 7 chocolates and a peach, two cups of black coffee with splenda. I'm really enjoying black coffee, can't believe it
Lunch: leftover risotto with tuna and olives, I also had a teaspoon of jam and a teaspoon of ground peanuts
Snack: vanilla forme yoghurt
Dinner: mum made some eggplant rolls. Basically grilled eggplant filled with low fat ricotta cheese and basil leaves, covered in tomato pasta sauce. It had no flavour, so I only had two rolls (and they were small). Then I also had an optifast bar
Snack: I had the urge to binge eat, I didn't do too badly though. Had some dried sultanas (I'm finding these to be a great sugar hit instead of lollies), a peach, an apricot, a few grapes and a diet hot chocolate. Spent an hour on the exercise bike.

Also, this morning I weighed myself and I'm 75 kilos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!! Best valentine's day present ever. My body must have just been retaining fluid, a few days ago I stepped on the scales and I was 79, I couldn't believe it. Well I'm alot happier today!!!!!!!

[laughing_sheep]

Despite the latest revelation (weight loss down to 75 kilos, wow!) I'm still struggling with binge/over eating and resisting the temptation to buy junk food. My parents are away so I'm all by myself, feeling really lonely to be honest. Having bad cravings for prawns, I think because I was watching the biggest loser and I saw the contestants eating some king prawns with snow peas and I thought, 'gosh they look YUM!!!!!!'. I want to get a prawn pizza from dominoe's, I've looked up the calorie content and it doesn't look too bad considering (134 calories per slice, 8 slices per pizza).

But maybe that's a bad idea, I've seen some frozen prawns (not battered) in aldi, I might see if I can buy those. Because mum hates how they smell, may as well take advantage now that she's gone and cook them up LOL!.

Also, I bought two chocolate bars (a cadbury flake, and a cadbury fruit and nut bar) and some melting moments biscuits. The biscuits were disappointing, I ate 3 out of a pack of 10 and threw the rest out.

Feeling too tired to exercise, maybe I will just have an early night tonight.

[laughing_sheep]

Well I'm feeling proud of myself for eating well today (so far anyway!)

Breakfast: berry smoothie, two black coffees with splenda

Lunch: roast pumpkin and chickpea salad, and two babybel cheeses

Dinner: salad with tomatoes, cucumber, feta cheese, almonds, mushrooms and two boiled eggs. That's all I've had so far, but I might have some fruit salad later on and/or some yoghurt

Walked for about an hour and a half today. Too lazy to use the exercise bike, I might use it tomorrow or I might not bother to be honest.

[dragonfly]

hi steph...
ha ha you onto the smoothie too lol, yum yum!!!

i love prawns, and they are so low in fat and cals, awesome food. I wrap some in foil, with some spices, and then stick in oven, frypan, or bbq. mix up some cous cous, the flavored box, and for 400cals, you get a MASSIVE meal.
I have never had prawn pizza.... hmmm, but now you got MY mouth watering HA HA HA.

I had some binges lately, but I am not feeling guilty. I am telling myself, its life, and i am living life. enjoying life, and not going to stop eating what i want. I confirm with myself I have lost weight, and I am loosing weight, and I can enjoy these foods if I want. my weakness lately, oreos.... and as always the marshmallows. 1/2 to 3/4 a packet in ONE hot choccie LOL

[laughing_sheep]

hi steph...
ha ha you onto the smoothie too lol, yum yum!!!

i love prawns, and they are so low in fat and cals, awesome food. I wrap some in foil, with some spices, and then stick in oven, frypan, or bbq. mix up some cous cous, the flavored box, and for 400cals, you get a MASSIVE meal.
I have never had prawn pizza.... hmmm, but now you got MY mouth watering HA HA HA.

I had some binges lately, but I am not feeling guilty. I am telling myself, its life, and i am living life. enjoying life, and not going to stop eating what i want. I confirm with myself I have lost weight, and I am loosing weight, and I can enjoy these foods if I want. my weakness lately, oreos.... and as always the marshmallows. 1/2 to 3/4 a packet in ONE hot choccie LOL

YUM bbq prawns with cous cous sounds sooooo good! I'm glad you're not feeling guilty...I've also contemplated buying oreos, I can remember trying the ones with chocolate flavoured cream in the middle and thinking they were heaven! I think I read that sticking to about 400 calories is the ideal way to lose weight but I haven't been sticking to anything for about 5 or 6 weeks really. Because I've stopped writing down everything I eat its like I've given myself a license to eat anything and everything, from memory this is roughly what I ate yesterday:

A large bowl of special k (maybe double the actual serving size) and maybe a cup of skim milk
2 pieces of soy and linseed bread spread thickly with margarine (not fat reduced) with vegemite
2 cups of black coffee with splenda
2 large red apples
A bunch of grapes
A whole tube of sweetened condensed milk
3/4 of a packet of seaweed rice crackers
100g chocolate
Beef goulash with vegies

Did lots of walking but, maybe an hour and a half and spent an hour on the exercise bike.

'Had a horrible, horrible binge the other day...ate a whole packet of double coat tim tams, mint slice and a whole block of cadbury chocolate. Haven't weighed myself, because I've learned the perils of over-weighing after my weight fluctuated from 75 to 79 kilos and I dropped those four kilos straight away (stupid water weight).

I have a diet diary that was for free from woman's day, so I've written down my breakfast so far today though. I don't think I'm going to count calories as methodically as before, but at the same time I did weigh my food this morning just to keep my portions in control as well as making sure I'm getting enough calcium because I don't want to end up with osteoporosis! Feeling ok about starting to eat healthy again after binging. I would love to get down to 66 kilos and I'm sick of thinking about it. At the same time, there is an amazing thai takeaway shop near me and they sell beef pad thai and beautiful giant spring rolls.

Have been considering maybe buying the beef pad thai, dividing it into three and then serving each portion with 400g vegies to make it not so bad. It is very oily but it is probably my favourite takeaway food and I don't think I've had it in almost a year. I've had the spring rolls from there more recently unfortunately and have suffered horrible guilt over it, but I think if I add it into my plan and keep up my extra exercise I will be ok.

[laughing_sheep]

For the first time in a very long time, I had a good day yesterday. No overeating really. Its like if I don't write down what I'm eating then that just gives me license to eat anything and everything, not good!.

Yesterday's intake:
50g bran cereal
200g vanilla forme yoghurt
210g apple
coffee (black with splenda)

Lunch was two slices of soy and linseed toast with margarine (reduced fat and vegemite). I also had the bright idea of spraying a non-stick pan with oil and cooking two eggs, as well as melting two pieces of low-fat cheese on top. It was so yum, and kept me full for 5 and a half hours! Wow.

For dinner I had some leftover spinach and ricotta caneloni I made (yummY!) and some cauliflower, carrots and snow peas that I'd microwaved.

After dinner I had the urge to binge, I had an orange, a jarrah hot chocolate, a corn thin as well as a be natural bar. Not a full-on 200 or 300 calorie be natural energy bar, just a regular one from a pack (about 100 calories).

Overall I was pretty pleased, I also walked for about an hour with my mum. Was too lazy to use the exercise bike, even though the exercise bike burns more than twice the amount of calories per hour as opposed to walking (660 per hour vs 270).

So i think the exercise bike is a huge help for me in burning extra calories, but I'm not going to stop with sneaking in extra walking because it all counts.

[laughing_sheep]

Just had a horrible binge, consisting of:

A peach
70g sultanas
6 chocolate buttons
vienna almonds (almonds covered in toffee, not sure how many but alot!)
2 scoops fatblaster chocolate shake powder and skim milk
forme yoghurt
Be natural bar
apple fruit bar

Now I'm suffering from some horrible angst after this.

My eating was fine today. For breakfast I had two pieces of soy and linseed toast with cheese and peanut butter, also some sultanas and black coffee. For lunch I had another two pieces of cheese, can of chicken soup and a large apple. And now I ended up with this horrible binge. I feel far from finished! I wish I was a bottomless pit, with unlimited stomach holding power, so I could just eat and eat and eat and eat and not feel vaguely full! I wish I could eat and eat and eat and eat and that the calories didn't count.

This sucks!

[laughing_sheep]

Just had a horrible binge, consisting of:

A peach
70g sultanas
6 chocolate buttons
vienna almonds (almonds covered in toffee, not sure how many but alot!)
2 scoops fatblaster chocolate shake powder and skim milk
forme yoghurt
Be natural bar
apple fruit bar

Now I'm suffering from some horrible angst after this.

My eating was fine today. For breakfast I had two pieces of soy and linseed toast with cheese and peanut butter, also some sultanas and black coffee. For lunch I had another two pieces of cheese, can of chicken soup and a large apple. And now I ended up with this horrible binge. I feel far from finished! I wish I was a bottomless pit, with unlimited stomach holding power, so I could just eat and eat and eat and eat and not feel vaguely full! I wish I could eat and eat and eat and eat and that the calories didn't count.

This sucks!

I continued on eating after this. Had some corn thins, diet jelly, large piece of fish baked with garlic, piece of bread with margarine and sugar. I think I ate close to 4000 calories yesterday. Its ridiculous that I'm doing this to myself. If i keep this up I will regain all the weight I've lost in no time.

[court]

Hey Steph I have been reading the last few days and you sound like you need a big hug!!!
I really think you need to give the gabriel method a read - it deals with the underlying issues of why you binge/emotional eat and have a nifty little hypno cd that you listen to as you doze off at night! You can eat whatever you want on the program (after a while you literally crave only good food!!) it is just a matter of eating the "better" things first... check out your local library you wont be upset you did
I have come from 92kgs. Now I am sitting on 69kgs at the moment but I am comfortable at 66kgs so I am just eating good food, getting a little walking in, lots of water.... and living my life! not obsessing over it anymore .. best of luck to you xxx

[dragonfly]

I have heard the gabriel method is good, and i have also been told by a few people that my *diet* or lifestyle is very similar to his method.
I think you biggest hurdle steph, would not be eating the foods that are bumping the calories over you limit, but coming to peace with the guilt you feel afterwards, as the guilt is holding you back.
if you feel ok with the food you ate, and feel if it was a bad day, that you can just move forward, then i think the binges will become less and less often and less big.
the other weekend I had a binge which i mentally though whoa that was soooo big, and dh is like what, no way, that was tiny. I used to have the bottemless bit stomach, which somehow doesnt exist anymore. I cant even eat a whole pack of timtams, and even the lolly snakes yesterday, was only half the pack, so about 8 snakes. and 2 mini milkyways. and i felt whoa, sugar overload.
do you drink green tea at all? I find it helps alot to balance sugar levels and make me crave less, and when i do eat it, i cant eat as much as I used to.

hang in there, its a tough time for you, and I do believe we go thru high and low motivation periods as well. but if we just ride the ride during the low periods instead of giving up, then we end up maintaining, rather than gaining everything back.

(((HUGS)))

[laughing_sheep]

Hey Steph I have been reading the last few days and you sound like you need a big hug!!!
I really think you need to give the gabriel method a read - it deals with the underlying issues of why you binge/emotional eat and have a nifty little hypno cd that you listen to as you doze off at night! You can eat whatever you want on the program (after a while you literally crave only good food!!) it is just a matter of eating the "better" things first... check out your local library you wont be upset you did
I have come from 92kgs. Now I am sitting on 69kgs at the moment but I am comfortable at 66kgs so I am just eating good food, getting a little walking in, lots of water.... and living my life! not obsessing over it anymore .. best of luck to you xxx

Thankyou court! That's nice of you to give me advice. I've put the gabriel method on hold at a library, its due back in a couple of days. Hopefully there isn't someone else with holds on it and the person returns it on time. I was going really well and craving healthy food too. I didn't even miss the junk, but now its like I'm back on that addictive junk food wheel. Sugar is like crack to me. I found mum's packet of vienna almonds (toffee almonds) and I couldn't stop eating them. I worked out that the 500g packet had almost 3000 calories in it. Feeling really guilty and I binged last night (again). Really just overeating. Its like I'm fine for 1 or 2 days and then I completely blow it. This morning I weighed myself and the scales said 78 kilos, I feel shocked but hopefully I'm just 'retaining fluid' or maybe I really have gained 3 whole kilos of fat in 12 days. I polished off all of the vienna almonds this morning so yeah...feeling really bad.

I have heard the gabriel method is good, and i have also been told by a few people that my *diet* or lifestyle is very similar to his method.
I think you biggest hurdle steph, would not be eating the foods that are bumping the calories over you limit, but coming to peace with the guilt you feel afterwards, as the guilt is holding you back.
if you feel ok with the food you ate, and feel if it was a bad day, that you can just move forward, then i think the binges will become less and less often and less big.
the other weekend I had a binge which i mentally though whoa that was soooo big, and dh is like what, no way, that was tiny. I used to have the bottemless bit stomach, which somehow doesnt exist anymore. I cant even eat a whole pack of timtams, and even the lolly snakes yesterday, was only half the pack, so about 8 snakes. and 2 mini milkyways. and i felt whoa, sugar overload.
do you drink green tea at all? I find it helps alot to balance sugar levels and make me crave less, and when i do eat it, i cant eat as much as I used to.

hang in there, its a tough time for you, and I do believe we go thru high and low motivation periods as well. but if we just ride the ride during the low periods instead of giving up, then we end up maintaining, rather than gaining everything back.

(((HUGS)))

Thankyou Karin, I've found the gabriel method book here http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/book/97 ... iel-Method from the UK, its $10 cheaper than from the Borders online site here.

I agree with you about the guilt thing, the guilt is just making it worse. I think maybe I need to look at it as well, that's the past and I can't change that but I can change the future.

[laughing_sheep]

Still 78 kilos this morning and I feel sickened when I realize that there is a distinct possibility that I really could have gained those 3 kilos of fat. When I work out how many days I seriously over ate, I think there were times when I maybe ate 4000 calories (not that I was counting).

Now its going to take me 6 weeks of careful dieting to get rid of those 3 kilos. I feel so stupid. My parents are leaving again for a week. I've been binging on sultanas as they've been providing a sugar rush. Not sure if I will keep on binging now that I've seen the results on the scales!

Food yesterday:
100g vienna almonds
Peach, vanilla yoghurt
Sultanas
Peanut Butter
2 pieces of soy and linseed bread with two pieces of cheese and two eggs
Vitaweets
For dinner I went to a sushi train which was delicious, I'd never been to this particular one before you always have to wait to go in. This time we waited and it was worth the wait! The grilled salmon was so tasty, the rice and everything was so fresh. Yum, I would love to come back here.

Did an hour on the exercise bike and walked for half an hour.

Doesn't sound like I ate too much but I worked out that I ate about 3000 calories yesterday which is 500 calories more than I need just to maintain. If I really have gained 3 kilos of fat, there's nothing I can do. I can't un-eat all the food I've eaten, all I can do is just eat less until they come off again. Can't bring myself to change my sig though, maybe in a week if I'm still 78 kilos I might.

[laughing_sheep]

Yesterday I tried to stick to the calories roughly that I was on when I was losing half a kilo a week (1600-1900) but I kept getting really hungry! Goes to show me what almost 2 weeks of solid overeating (4000 cals!) per day gets me, my stomach has now stretched and wants more food. Oh well. I didn't weigh anything yesterday or today though, I'm just estimating the cals.

Yesterday's food:
Two pieces of soy and linseed toast with margarine and vegemite, black coffee with splenda
A be natural bar and forme yoghurt
A weis bar (got it for free up the station, It was so yummy and only 114 cals)
At lunch had a wholemeal pita pocket, with lite cream cheese, baby spinach, olives and a can of tuna in springwater. It was delicious
I also had a plum, and some peanut m&m's (not healthy I know oops but I was hungry so my guilt was lessened)
Another snack, an orange and 10 almonds
At dinner I had a coles frozen meal, lite mushroom agnolotti. I also added 250g mushrooms, the rest of the baby spinach and I cut up two carrots that were in the fridge ate those as well.
Late night snack, I had a piece of bread (wholegrain) with natural peanut butter and olives.

At home by myself, was not motivated to cook I guess. Spent two hours on the exercise bike yesterday so I could skip doing it today and I'm sticking to that.

Today's food:
When I first woke up I had an apple and a tub of forme apple pie flavoured yoghurt (so delicious! yum)
I had a late shift at work, so just before I went in I had a boost juice berry smoothie with extra protein added. It had a weird taste, I guess that was the protein powder in it
It was the kids lunch time at work, and they had meatballs with salad and pasta. They were baked, and I was feeling hungry. I took two, then another two...and another two. Oops. Felt over-full about half an hour later but there was nothing I could do apart from beat myself up! Horrible. At my designated lunch break I wasn't hungry at all, I delayed eating until the later part of it and I had a pumpkin and chickpea salad for lunch
For a snack I had a peach.
At dinner, I cooked a tuna pasta bake. Well I made it yesterday but I baked it today, I had that. It was nice, it had a sundried tomato sauce in it, with tuna, peas, corn and I topped with some low-fat cheese. I think I ate too much of it, oh well.

Walked to walk today, it took about an hour and it was a challenging walk, hilly streets etc. At least I'm not binging and I'm letting myself feel hunger so that's something positive. The scales still say 77 kilos. Its still 25 kilos less than my heaviest weight, but I feel so bad because I know I was 75 and I binged ate that extra weight on. SO I'm disappointed in myself, but I'm trying to turn over a new leaf (again) and I'm hoping I keep going instead of blowing it soon.