Well I ended up trying 'the double' and as much as I hate to admit it, I loved it. What I didn't like was later on that day I bought a chocolate hedgehog slice and it didn't even taste nice. 34 grams of fat. So that's what made me feel worse.
Yesterday I overate big time. Ate til my stomach hurt, it was horrible. Feel so tired today.
Yesterday for breakfast I had special k, skim milk, an apple, two pieces of toast with margarine and vegemite. For lunch I had a wholemeal pita bread with cheese, ham, olives and an egg. Then I had a cadbury fruit and nut bar. After this I had some tuna pasta bake, and then came the flood of food.
220g vanilla forme yoghurt, 3 tablespoons peanut butter, 2 pieces of toast margarine and vegemite, a large orange, sesame snaps, a packet of brown rice crackers and a piece of cheese. Something like 3139 calories. Yeah I'm not going to lose any weight eating that much food. Spent an hour on the exercise bike. I'm surprised my weight hasn't climbed past 76 kilos.
I think I binged because I kept telling myself all day that I was going to cut back and eat less etc and I just rebelled. I feel overly tired today, the fat in the margarine, peanut butter, cheese and cadbury has clearly taken its toll and I just want to sleep and sleep. And eat and eat. I remember how physically uncomfortable it was to be obese at 92 kilos last year but at the same time it was nice not to worry or care. Having bags of chocolate, packets of tim tams and tubes of pringles to eat to my heart's content and feel no guilt, or feel like as soon as I wake up in the morning I have to use the exercise bike for an hour.
This happened as a teen after I lost weight, once I stopped trying to maintain and stopped counting calories I ended up 102 kilos, 9 kilos heavier than I was to start with. I just feel like I'm delaying the inevitable, I wish I could just be a normal eater instead of an overeater! This sucks.