Meegs, sweet Meegs, (I tried to return PM but it didn't work so I posted here - hope you don't mind)
Thanks for your message.....where would I be without you? I've been staying with my mum and sister until I sort things out. It's been good and helped with the grieving part. Men are just weak - that's why we have the babies *giggles* We have a counselling session tomorrow. I am hopefull that we will work it out but if your life partner can't support you at your greatest hour of need, is this someone you should be with? I just don't know *shrugs*. I'm totally lost at the moment. Dad dying has shattered my heart but my life still had purpose. With my marriage breaking up, I just don't know what to do next, where to live, no job. I was meant to be having kids, buying a new house, etc - I had a vision of the future. If it doesn't include my husband - I just don't know what to do next. My head is spinning and my thoughts are coming at a million miles an hour. I thought about that post and wondered if I shouldn't post it. I shouldn't burden others. I know this is a weight loss forum and I should stick to weight issues.
I read your post about your son who has just been diagnosed with Aspergers. I'm guessing he is about 5 or a bit younger? It is probably such a huge relief for you to have a name for "it". You probably have known for some time that your son is different. That he doesn't play like all the other kids, that he doesn't eat like all the other kids, he probably has unexplained bowel problems. You probably find it overly frustrating that the simple tasks like getting dressed, putting on shoes, finishing tasks, leaving the house or interupting routines are unmanagable for him and beyond him and where you wish he should be up to in his development. Yet, then you can be blown away by his amazing intellectual ability that is years beyond his development and age. How am I doing so far? Am I close? Have I got some points? Maybe you haven't got to some of these yet? You see, my newphew has Aspergers - he turns 16 in a few months and I have lived with him for most of his life. He is a beautiful child but very different to any child I have ever encountered. I can talk to you intimately about aspergers - I know alot about it. I have been to many seminars, have read all the books and have lived with a child for about 13-14 years. Anything you want to know, just ask. In our house the term, being "aspi" is used a lot. My husband is quite "aspi". He is very intelligent but unable to empathise. I've never mentioned this to him, he would see red. I didn't see it at the time, but now I do. It's a shame we don't live in the same state. I have a lot of insight into Aspergers that I can share that can help. I think the first place to start, the most important thing to glean is that aspi kids are most comfortable with rountine. I don't just mean normal kid rountine such as get up at this time, breaky is this, play time, is this, lunch is this, nap time, bath time, dinner time, bed time etc - I mean, if you button up pj's one way and then out of the blue mix up the buttons one night by buttoning the 3rd one first when you have always gone top to bottom and the child is screaming, its because the rountine needs to be the buttons always go 1,2 3, 4 never 3 1,4 2. If too, you always drive down the same street home and then you take a different one and the child starts screaming, its because you are in the wrong street - aspi kids have to have everthing "just so" and sometimes you may not even be aware that you are changing something that is very familiar to them. Oh crap, hope I am not upsetting you or scaring you. Best end on a positive note. The literature will tell you that aspi kids are not emotional and don't like hugs etc. That's not true - they are capable of a great deal of love they just express it in a different and unusual way. So, don't lose heart, there is light at the end of the tunnel! Geez, very big post *prod* are you still awake. Hope I haven't upset you. Thanks for your message. You are such a great mate already, Love Ally
HW: 127 kg
CW: 93.7 kg
GW: 68 kg
LW: 73 kg