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I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby yellowroses » Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:24 pm

I've fallen off the wagon soo many times in the last 2 years, its terrible - and I've managed to put on more weight since coming here. I think in the past I was never really committed and I set myself unreasonable goals. I also have this fear of getting out of my comfort zone and exercising in front of people. But today as I hopped on the scales and looked down to see myself very close to the 130kg mark I realised - it's do or die. Literally.

I have set myself a time frame of 17 weeks to lose between 15 and 20kgs. No more quick fixes. 17 weeks is my time frame because I am going to Launceston for the day on the 25th of August to see my parents for the first time in over a year AND my gym membership runs out in 16 weeks and I've barely used it, so I need to get my moneys worth. Once I lose about 15kgs, I can start using my treadmill again (it has a 110kg limit, and when I hop on it now the belt can barely move).

Several things I want to challenge myself to do over the next 4 months:

1) Learn how to cook and eat healthy, nutritious, and tasty meals - even when others around me are eating crap.
2) Get out of my comfort zone - go to the gym and gym classes, walk even if I don't feel like it or its cold etc
3) Get used to the idea that it's not going to be quick and painless!

I have already started slowly over the last couple of weeks, walking the dog for about 45 minutes (slowly) about twice a week. I also attempted to quit smoking, and in fact stopped completely cold turkey for an entire 8 days - but then stress got the better of me. I'm not smoking anywhere near as much now and have mostly gotten out of the habit. I know this will take time too but I'm determined to get rid of the ugly smelly cancer sticks.

I think in the past I was depressed with life, and I couldn't see past my past into the future. I don't feel that way anymore, like I want to die or punish myself - and I know I'll feel even better once I shed all of this weight, but in the mean time, I will indeed settle for some.

My starting weight today was 127.7kg. I bought weight watcher books and the biggest loser book and I will be experimenting to see which I like better - I had success in the past with weight watchers points, but I'm a different person now so I might need something more structured.

On days when I simply cannot get out of the house, but can spare an extra 5 minutes, I will do some basic squats, jumping jacks etc just to keep me moving. Hell, I might even try Yoga at home in the mornings :)

My 21st is creeping up ever so slowly, it is just 40 weeks until that precious day (and the awesome party) is to come. I would really really enjoy being a size 16 (around 85-90kgs) for my birthday so I can wear a pretty party dress and look at photos of myself and think 'I did it'. Another massive motivator for me this time around - I was showing my wedding photos to a cousin who came over the other day, and I just couldn't believe that I was looking at myself. I looked so large and uncomfortable and had fat rolls coming out over the side of my dress and my massive tuck-shop-lady arms hanging out. I felt embarrassed to be showing those pictures! So once the weight is shed and gone, and I have worked hard and I am at my goal - a size 14 (or around 75kgs) - I have told my DH that we WILL be getting remarried and have brand new photos taken. I want that so bad, so that I can hang up our wedding photos and be proud of them.

I'm sick of my weight controlling me - I want my life back, I want my future back - I want to be ME again.

This is my challenge to myself, and this time I'm going to finally do it.
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wePqDKj/
Image

Final Goal: 68kgs.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wcytIxC/
Image

I'm taking back my life.
Check out my vlog: http://www.youtube.com/yellowroses89
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby sarahm » Mon Apr 27, 2009 4:31 pm

hi .found your post and felt compelled to write. i feel for you.i got to 105kg and felt so sad. its awful to feel your weight is controlling you. be kind to yourself- we all have stuff to deal with. go slowly and treat yourself like you would a friend- with love and patience. you are young-you will achieve what u desire. when u are ready u will do it. i have managed to get to 91kg slowly. i am 35 with 2 small kids. its so easty to use food as a crutch... anyway just thinking of u and sending support and friendship. this journey can feel so lonely sometimes-feel free to keep in touch. good luck-look forward to hearing of your sucesses. xx sarahm.
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby Shalimar » Mon Apr 27, 2009 5:38 pm

Good luck with it Yellow :D .
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SW: 175.0 kgs.
CW: 62 kgs-Hit goal 12 September 2009.
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby Mandie » Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:08 pm

Good luck! You have some really good goals there.

I love cooking, and the challenge of making some traditionally fattening dishes healthy. In fact, tonight, instead of having cauliflower cheese with a heavy cream/cheese sauce, I'm making it with a crunchy breadcrumb topping, with just a touch of low fat grated cheese on top - I think it will be delicious, I'll let you know!

You CAN do this. I've also been struggling along for a while, going up and down with the weight - it's time to take control of our lives and just get healthy!
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby yellowroses » Mon Apr 27, 2009 11:59 pm

Wow. Thank you guys so much for all of your support :) It's so great to know that I have friends out there who are in this with me - friends that I've never even met! You're all wonderful and beautiful people :D

Today was awesome, I felt in control today and took the time to plan my meals before I ate them. I'm finding WW points easy to do, no big numbers to remember and I can just check the book while I'm in the kitchen instead of running back and forth to my computer to check CK! : :roll: I have a total of 24 points to use per day, and today I only used 18.5 of them.

Breakfast: Omelette consisting of 3 egg whites, 1 whole egg & 1 tablespoon skim milk, with 2 slices wholemeal bread, onion, mushrooms, and capsicum cooked with a bit of spray oil and onion, Worcestershire sauce, and grilled tomatoes. 3.5 points.

Snack: Apple. 1 point.

Lunch: A tuna and salad roll with mayo, olives and mustard. 5.5 points.

Dinner: Got a bit creative - 1/4 cup of (uncooked) brown rice; boiled, zucchini, onion, mushrooms, capsicum and pumpkin sprayed lightly with spray oil & dressed with dried herbs; baked, and 120g of smoked cod (frozen from a packet); baked with the veges. I have to tell you - it sounds bland, but it was sooo yummy. The herbs were all the flavour I needed and I didn't even need to put lemon on the fish. I also had a raspberries and cream Weis Bar as a few extra points because I felt I was kind of lacking and this was the healthiest sweet I could find in the house. 6.5 points.

I also had 1 cup of tea and 1 cup of hot chocolate, 1 glass of diet lemonade mixed with diet raspberry cordial, and 8 glasses of water during the day - 2 points.

Since watching The Biggest Loser I found out that I should be eating plenty of fibre and protein in each meal to help myself feel fuller for longer and have been experimenting with that over the last few weeks. I switched from white bread and rice to wholemeal bread and rice because that is the highest insoluble fibre that my body can handle due to my IBS. My IBS has been really calming down a lot since I managed to cope with my stress a bit more and I'm finding it a bit easier to eat fibre, but I still cannot have anything spicy and try to stay away from high-fibre beans (like kidney beans, baked beans etc), nuts and seeds (sometimes they hurt going through, sometimes they don't). I can eat more veges now though, and have found that my body doesn't mind fruit and vegie skins all that much now :) The high fibre, high protein meals have really been great, I do actually feel heaps satisfied now and can sit down to a plate full of fish, rice and veges and feel that it tastes great and I don't need to go back for seconds.

As you can see, over the last few weeks I've been making small changes to get myself ready for the big one - the final jump into the complete re-make of my life. I bought a dress from ebay which came in the mail today - a size 14 summer dress that is soo pretty and that is going to be my 'dream outfit' - the thing that I will wear when I complete my mission! One of the biggest things that I'm looking forward to at the end of this 17 week challenge is being able to wear my engagement ring and wedding ring again. They are a size 7, and my finger is now at a size 9. I haven't been able to wear those rings together full time ever - my fingers were often swollen in summer when we got married and I've put on about 10kgs since we did get married (over a year ago).

I am determined.
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wePqDKj/
Image

Final Goal: 68kgs.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wcytIxC/
Image

I'm taking back my life.
Check out my vlog: http://www.youtube.com/yellowroses89
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:12 am

Good luck with your 17 week challenge, YellowRoses. I think buying a 'dream outfit' is a great idea, and I'm sure with the motivation and determination you're feeling at the moment you'll definitely get there!
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby yellowroses » Tue Apr 28, 2009 10:49 pm

Today was great :) I woke up at 6.30am (very tired after only 5 hours sleep), did a decent amount of study (not as much I wanted to, but I think I overshot the mark there), ate really well and... *drum roll* I WENT TO THE GYM!!! That's like a HUGE achievement for me. I originally started walking to the supermarket (about a 15 minute moderate walk) and then when I got there I was like, you know what, I'm gonna go to the gym. I got to the gym - and then realised that I didn't take any proper clothes with me - I had on my trackies, runners, a boob-tube dress, a sexy bra and a jumper. I asked the gym if they had any shirts my size and I tried on the largest one they had - wouldn't fit over my boobs. So I just said, nah, I'm gonna exercise in what I've got on, it's cool. Meanwhile, it's about 6.30pm at the gym (peak time), and I look around and all my fears just kinda melted away. There were some women there that were skinny or average, but there were quite a number of women around my size and I didn't feel like I was being judged at all which is an absolute first for me. So I pulled up my jumper sleeves and hopped on the treadmill for about 20minutes, walking uphill most of the time. I didn't even have my MP3 player, but I felt really good :) I stopped though because I got really hot and I didn't want to take off my jumper coz my bra was hanging out and it wouldn't have been pretty, but anyway. After I hopped off the treadmill I went in to have a look at a few of the classes going on (Aquarobics and Body Combat), Body Combat looks a little too full on for me right now, but the Aquarobics looked heaps fun! The next class is on Thursday and I'm so going! I know I'm gonna be heaps nervous going into class for the first time, but as soon as I get into it, I know I'll have conquered that fear that I'm being judged. AND while I was there - I made an appointment to learn how to use the weight machines (finally) on Monday AND an appointment to see my personal trainer on Tuesday :D I'm so proud of myself I think I'm giddy! Lol!

Anyway, I'm a little worried about what I ate today, the points say that I didn't eat much, but I felt like I ate heaps and I haven't had any 'hunger pains' or anything all day, just been satisfied :)

Breakfast: 2 x wholemeal toast (sandwich slice), a banana, 1 tablespoon of manuka honey. 3.5 points.
Lunch: Tuna rice salad - 50g (uncooked) brown rice, 95g tin of tuna in springwater (drained), lettuce, corn, peas, capsicum, onion, tomato, celery, cucumber and a sauce of dijon mustard and white vinegar. Honestly it doesn't sound too appetising but I really enjoyed this and it's definitely on the menu again. 3.5 points.
Dinner: 100g (uncooked) chicken, 60g (dry) wholemeal pasta. Chicken was cooked with canned tomatoes, onion, capsicum, celery, eggplant, zucchini, mushies and some spray oil. 5 points. Now, for desert, I TRIED to make something tasty but healthy - I had light ricotta cheese and some blueberries mixed with equal. I've never had ricotta cheese before in my life and now I know exactly why - it was all gross and grainy and I did not like the texture one bit. The flavour overall was ok, could have used a bit more sweetness IMO, but it was the texture that threw me off and I only ate about 4 spoonfuls before I gave up trying to like it. So 1 point for that.

Snacks/Beverages: 1/2 apple, 2 x cups of tea (with milk and 1 sugar), 8 glasses of water, diet lemonade and diet red cordial - 2 points.

I don't know how many points exercise is (I can't find it in my books), so for every time I exercise I'll give myself 1 point :) So overall today I only had 14 points - 10 below what my maximum should be :shock: :? I don't know if this is good or bad, but given my history with eating disorders it could look bad - but I ate soo much! My lunch was HUGE, and so was my dinner - I was full full full all day long. Should I be trying to eat more? I'm really enjoying the food that I'm eating, and now that I've bought some equal my points are going to be less! Advise would be seriously welcome here!

Overall, I think I had a fantastic day, and I feel really super energetic!

I believe in myself.
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wePqDKj/
Image

Final Goal: 68kgs.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wcytIxC/
Image

I'm taking back my life.
Check out my vlog: http://www.youtube.com/yellowroses89
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Posts: 630
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby yellowroses » Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:55 pm

Bit of a 'meh' day. Had 21 points in total, spent 2 and a half hours at the gym. Too tired to relay everything... going to sleep very soon!
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wePqDKj/
Image

Final Goal: 68kgs.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wcytIxC/
Image

I'm taking back my life.
Check out my vlog: http://www.youtube.com/yellowroses89
User avatar
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Posts: 630
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby yellowroses » Thu Apr 30, 2009 3:01 pm

Having a really rough day today - I ate waay too much for lunch and now I feel bad :( Plus I'm feeling really sick (all fluey) and tired. Grrr... don't know how to stay motivated on days like these.
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wePqDKj/
Image

Final Goal: 68kgs.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wcytIxC/
Image

I'm taking back my life.
Check out my vlog: http://www.youtube.com/yellowroses89
User avatar
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Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 10:29 pm

Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby Jolean » Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:09 pm

i am feeling really flu-ish today too. its yuck hey!!?? i've just been drinking hot water with sliced lemon in it all day.
Did you do aquarobics today like you mentioned?
Thats really good. its really low impact. and its lots of fun.. I love it and if it is a heated pool and you feel sick for some reason you feel better. well i know i do. :D
Good luck with your challenge
Starting weight = 85kg
Mini goal = 70kg
overall goal = 60kg

[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wTvvPcC/]
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby yellowroses » Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:31 pm

Jolean wrote:i am feeling really flu-ish today too. its yuck hey!!?? i've just been drinking hot water with sliced lemon in it all day.
Did you do aquarobics today like you mentioned?
Thats really good. its really low impact. and its lots of fun.. I love it and if it is a heated pool and you feel sick for some reason you feel better. well i know i do. :D
Good luck with your challenge


Aquarobics isnt until 7pm tonight, but I'm thinking I wont go and just go to the class on Saturday instead. I don't really feel like walking through the freezing cold to get to the gym and no cars here tonight so I cant drive. Sweatin' out in bed instead with the heater on 27 degrees and underneath my warm covers.
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wePqDKj/
Image

Final Goal: 68kgs.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wcytIxC/
Image

I'm taking back my life.
Check out my vlog: http://www.youtube.com/yellowroses89
User avatar
yellowroses
 
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 10:29 pm

Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby Shalimar » Thu Apr 30, 2009 5:15 pm

I hope you are feeling a lot better very soon. Make sure you rest up and have plenty of fluids.
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SW: 175.0 kgs.
CW: 62 kgs-Hit goal 12 September 2009.
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby Jolean » Thu Apr 30, 2009 5:16 pm

awww. feel better soon :)
Starting weight = 85kg
Mini goal = 70kg
overall goal = 60kg

[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wTvvPcC/]
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[/url]
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Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby yellowroses » Thu Apr 30, 2009 7:00 pm

Grr the worst thing about being sick is I always crave junky foods. Nice rich creamy soups, or shitaki mushroom soup with mashed potato... all topped with big hunks of white bread with real butter :'( I cant wait til my DH gets home so that he can give me 'feel better' cuddles. I'm such a baby when I get sick! I'm really stressed now too because I've got an assignment and 2 exams next week. Hoping tomorrow I'll feel better. I'd better... otherwise I may give in and ruin all the good work I've done so far.
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wePqDKj/
Image

Final Goal: 68kgs.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wcytIxC/
Image

I'm taking back my life.
Check out my vlog: http://www.youtube.com/yellowroses89
User avatar
yellowroses
 
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 10:29 pm

Re: I'm back to start a 17 week challenge

Postby yellowroses » Sat May 02, 2009 1:25 pm

Ugh, had a rough couple of days there. Ate some really bad junky food, but weighed myself this morning and haven't done too much damage. Hoping I can make up for it today. I'm still not feeling great, not good enough to exercise, but I'm feeling well enough to put effort into eating properly. Weigh in is tomorrow and I'm hoping for a loss :)
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wePqDKj/
Image

Final Goal: 68kgs.
http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wcytIxC/
Image

I'm taking back my life.
Check out my vlog: http://www.youtube.com/yellowroses89
User avatar
yellowroses
 
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 10:29 pm

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