Hell Month Challenge..

[DD Diva]

Hey JP,

Not sure if this will help motivate you; it worked for me!

I used to make comparisons on each weigh in day. For example, I'd compare my current weight against my lowest recorded weight for 2013 (that sort of thing) and make it a goal to get to my next lowest, and so on.

In your case, at 99.8kg you're just 500g from your lowest weight back in 2013 so you may set your sights on reaching your previous lowest weight back in (? sorry I can't see your signature from this screen).

Just a thought....

[ganymede]

So I've been silly and made some terrible decisions due to this emotional turmoil but that is just no excuse. I'm angry at the situation and angry at myself so today I get back to what I should be doing for my body. Honestly, I feel so much better already, I need to look after myself, not feed it naughty things. I don't ever want to see those 90's again and I'm afraid I've crept back into them and I don't want that to happen.

3 days til weigh in so will make each of them count. And will continue to do some into the weeks, months and years ahead. It's a battle but I'll get through it, no matter what.

[DD Diva]

So I've been silly and made some terrible decisions due to this emotional turmoil but that is just no excuse. I'm angry at the situation and angry at myself so today I get back to what I should be doing for my body. Honestly, I feel so much better already, I need to look after myself, not feed it naughty things. I don't ever want to see those 90's again and I'm afraid I've crept back into them and I don't want that to happen.

3 days til weigh in so will make each of them count. And will continue to do some into the weeks, months and years ahead. It's a battle but I'll get through it, no matter what.

Hey Shelley,

Not sure what your situation is, though whatever it is, it's obviously upset you enough to knock the stuffing out of you a bit. But hey, don't lose sight of what is important above all else girl....YOU!!! You've done soooooooo well, and come so far, and heck it doesn't matter if you got a little side-tracked, you're bullet proof. Life has a way of kicking us down at times and when that happens, it takes great strength and courage to rise up again. But you know what? I believe you have, and will continue to beat whatever it is that has hammered you! You strike me as a very strong woman!!

I'm so glad that you haven't forgotten yourself in all of your emotional turmoil. YOU ARE SPECIAL! So be kind to yourself, allow yourself a break, a few indulgences if that's what it takes, and when that's done pick yourself up and (head held high) climb back to the top where you belong! You go girl!!

xx
Diva

[ganymede]

Wow, Diva, you sure know how to make a woman feel empowered and special! Thank you

Basically, my 7 year relationship is on the rocks, just 4 months after moving into our house and I thought everything was just fine... so yeah, it's just been a big kick in the guts, the shock and the hurt, the tears and the depression and the anxiety...needless to say, I'm an absolute wreck though some days are more bearable than others. Now we try to work on fixing things but the not knowing it just as hard, if not harder - so at this stage I'm just trying to keep it together.

I went for my walk today though and my food has been...well, good but bad because I'm waaaaay under calories but I'm just not hungry and feel a bit sick so. Two more days til weigh in, gotta make them count!

[JP1]

Hi Shelley, sorry to hear about you're relationship problems, makes it doubly hard when you are on a health kick but glad you are sorting through this and getting back on track health wise.. Stay focused and I am sure you will come out of it stronger regardless of the outcome.. Good luck..

[JP1]

Hi Diva, yeah I was saying to Kim in another thread that I look at past weights and significant milestones and use these as incentives to hit.. That's why l note them in my sig.. As I pass each I will scrub them out as done and dusted..

[JP1]

Seems like I have had a bit of a lazy day today.. Having said that I haven't cheated diet wise and I did hit the gym but didn't push myself as per recent sessions, have felt a bit off colour since the weekend and thought I'd pave myself for the rest of the week..

[Blitz]

JP:
Slow recovery day?

Shelley:
Channel the anger. Instead of it motivating unhelpful behaviour use it to fuel right action. Once when I was losing weight I had a doosie of an argument with my wife. In the old days I would have swept up my car keys and found some food outlet to gorge myself at. This time it was different. I reached for my runners and ipod and dramatically ran into the night! I ended up running twice the distance that I usually do. I started in anger, by the time I got back...I was mellow and reasonable...and sweaty!
Relationships are tricky things. This is my twenty third year of marriage and I'm still working at it. When it is bad - it is hell but when it is good it is heaven. But like all things worthy while...it is worth the work! I'll keep you in my prayers.

Kim

[JP1]

At long last I've actually made a dent in the 90's which means a few hundred g's closer to this Hell Month Challenge..

ps still got 3 of my 5 beers to go!

[ganymede]

Thank you everyone for your support, I really do appreciate it!

I hope that we're just going through a down time in our relationship and that things can be worked on and improved. It's the not knowing what the outcome will be that is the hardest part but I just have to try and put all those fears aside and work at this as much as I can. Whatever happens, happens but if I know I've tried with everything I have, then I will feel better about the whole thing.

Having said all this, I wonder if this 12 week challenge hasn't helped things. Sure, I've been healthy and focused and losing some serious kg's, but I wonder if it has inadvertently put a strain on things because we've had even less time to spend with each other and when we do, it's just the monotonous day to day tasks like cleaning and cooking

That does not mean I am giving up because this is going to be a long, hard road and one I'm ready to keep tackling. But I think I need to re-evaluate things and not be as hardcore strict as I have been for the challenge. I always said what I'm doing now is not maintainable and that once the challenge is done, I'd ease up a little. I think I'm going to have to do that from here on out so that I have some room to move when I want to have a couple of beers with my partner or go out to dinner/lunch or a movie to spend time with one another.

The rest of the week will be hard work and exercise but I think this has been ruling my life without me even realising.

Anyway, gigantic rant, sorry!

[JP1]

You're bloke should be more supportive in your endeavour to lose weight and maybe join in a few of your activities, just my two cents worth, not that I haven't had my share of failed relationships..

[ganymede]

He definitely is supportive but this time around he took a back seat because he has seen me do this so many times and he just wanted to see me succeed for good and no matter what he had said in the past to support me, I always fell back into my bad ways . He's not against me taking the time to exercise etc but when I was in the midst of the challenge, we weren't really spending any time together on the weekends because I was so busy exercising all the time.

That definitely needs to change, I want to give this the best possibility of getting better and that both means we need to make time for one another and make an effort.

[Blitz]

Yes this journey is tough on those who love us. I couldn't have asked for anyone more supportive than my wife but even so there were a couple of times towards the end of the journey (and sometimes in maintenance) when the cracks showed. She is making a case for quality time and I'm thinking the word "saboteur". That doesn't make for a friendly and loving dynamic.

You have to find the common ground and work from there. Find activities that you can share and be as inclusive as you can. Get "physical" and show him the advantages of a slimmed down healthy girl! I also found unloading what was going on in my head at the time helped my wife gain insight to my struggles, ambitions and dreams. It also communicated to her that she and my daughter were very much the motivation for my change.

Also you have got to keep a perspective on your relationship. You are changing the dynamic. So keep building those bridges to keep you connected. Once you were only attractive to him...now other people are checking you out and telling you how fab you look. You are buying new clothes and looking forward to social occasions because you feel so good. My wife talks about other women finding me attractive now. I tell her that they had their chance with the supersized version of me, they missed the boat!...so she is stuck with me!

In the end it is about finding that healthy lifestyle that works for you...in the life that you choose to live. You have to tailor it so that it fits.

Kim

[ganymede]

It is definitely hard to find a balance and I have always been a very "all or nothing" kind of person. I have a very obsessive personality so I'm either out there gunning away with insane walks and strict food day in and day out or I'm eating my weight in chocolate and taking naps instead of exercising

It has taken me many times to finally have it figured out that I can have both, IN MODERATION. I am going to be so much happier knowing I don't have to insanely deprive my body of what it needs just to reach the weight I want. It takes conscious decisions, I know that but the freedom to have a treat or not be ridiculously strict every single day is a huge relief, so long as I can control it. Awesome - I did 10 weeks of truly gruelling hard work and it paid off big time. I've lost 10.7kg and am finally starting to feel better now that I'm finally back in those 80's! Part of my healing was to clean up my office and throw away clothes that were too big and assess those I could put back into my closest because they fit again

I will definitely try to be more open with him about the reasons I'm doing this but at the same time, I want to shift my reasons more towards myself than him so that if for some reason things don't end up working out, I will keep true to myself and keep battling forward with this to the end and beyond because it's a life time effort! I think my partner is a bit sick of it all and I truly don't blame him. Time and time again he's tried to make me want to care, tried to be the "tough love" guy and the supportive, loving guy but nothing works. He got sick of seeing me undo all this hard work again and again and then swear never to do it again, only to go back on my promises.

This time I want a lasting solution that fits into my lifestyle and I'm completely okay with that. I've always said low 80's are my happy numbers. Not happy as in ecstatic but I feel I've spent a lot of time at low 80's and I always feel good there so I know I'll be far more content to let the kilos creep down gradually while still leading a full life with my partner.

I completely agree about the attraction. He says he is still attracted to me so that is a motivator in itself to make him go "Wow, she HAS lost a heap of weight, she's looking amazing". I'm sure comments from others when he is around will make him think twice as well. I still want to be that attractive woman to him but also his best friend as well.

And honestly, I am quite content to be semi-straight and narrow during the week, in order to give myself some leniency over the weekend in case we go out for a meal or want to enjoy a roast or pasta or something similar. That is NOT a license to pig out, I still need to LOSE weight! But I think that will work for me. I won't know until I try and it may take some trial and error but that's okay. The journey is still ahead of me and each step is one in the right direction

Only forward (to quote Michael Marshall Smith)

[Blitz]

That is why the diet thing doesn't work. It never factors in life! If it is only pain and no reward what is the point? It is all about finding that healthy happy balance. Easier said than done, right?

Each of us must live with the choices we make. Some on this Forum love their beer - something which doesn't interest me in the slightest. While I enjoy a nice piece of steak; and there is no way I'm going to forsake that in my food intake which vegetarians on the Forum would never choose or understand. But I take ownership and responsibility for my choices as do others here and work it into my lifestyle. Practically for me, this means those pleasures need to be paid for by exercise or foregoing something I can live without (beer for example...is that JP I hear in the background gently weeping? ).

The exercise and the eating is easy...it is getting our heads in the right place so that we can work out our healthy individual lifestyles - that is the hard bit!

Kim