Shelley good work for starting to turn that boat around before it hit that iceberg labelled "the 90's"! I know you may feel like that you are travelling on the good ship Titanic but I believe that the ship you are on is named Enterprise - and pretty soon you will be boldly going where no Shelley has gone before (shedding light years of weight to boot!). I know there is a better future out there for you and this journey you are on will get you there!
I have a feeling once you and him get into the deeper financials...your fond memories of him will develop a deeper perspective!...just try not to throw too many condiments at him, ok?
Here is a prophecy for you. You will laugh about all this one day. Not today, not tomorrow but one day sooner than you could possibly believe.
When you talk Star Trek to a sci-fi girl, you're bound to make her feel better!
I think I'll let Captain Picard steer the ship for awhile at low warp so as not to drift into the Neutral Zone
But yes, currently it feels like I'm on the Titantic but there are multiple icebergs to be dodged and the feelings just keep slapping me in the face! I hadn't seen my ex since everything came out in the open which was 3 whole weeks ago. It's so easy to delude yourself into thinking you're some semblance of "okay" when you don't have to see him or be around him. The memories you can swat away if you really try but seeing him flesh and blood was just SO much worse. In the grand scheme of things, I didn't feel the need to throw any condiments at him and he even bought him a hash brown and a cuppa
(I only had half because he looked really sad that I wouldn't eat it lol). As far as money talks go, it went smoothly and he's fairly certain my figures will be smack on the money (pun intended) and he wants to settle this as stress free as possible.
What has made it harder is that he acts like himself still, just a really messed up version who has really royally screwed things up and he even went to do the comforting leg rub he use to do then realised his mistake. It's so damn HARD
I just want to scream at him "Why won't you give me a CHANCE, you never even gave it a chance!!!" but there's nothing left to say that will change anything. And I can't hang on and delude myself into hoping one day he'll realise he's made the biggest mistake of his life and come grovelling with long stemmed roses and a plate of bacon. Despite him betraying me and all of that, I can't help but feel like I'm giving up SO much, so much work and friendship and bonding and all for something so stupid.
Anyway, I know I'm just fragile from seeing him but not really BEING with him and I woke up with a migraine that I went to bed with
And all I want to do is go for a massive jog but I'm worried I'll throw up. I did manage to jog 15 minutes again last night which was the most amazing feeling so I don't want to let the ball drop as I'm creeping back to bad, BAD numbers that I never want to see again!
DD Diva wrote: ganymede wrote:
Diva, with a sense of humour like that, it's no wonder you found yourself a great new man
I'm very happy for you and I hope one day I feel the same. Right now though, the thought of other men feels really WRONG, is that normal!?
Hey Shelley, it's perfectly normal
. It took my "toy boy" husband years before I agreed to walk down the isle again, something I vowed NEVER to do again. In fact it too me almost as long to admit I actually "loved" him (I was that fearful of getting hurt again).
I know that no words can reassure you adequately right now but do take heart; you will get through this and (as Blitz rightly prophesized) you'll look back on all this one day through the eyes of a better, stronger and definitely much happier person for it.
My thoughts are with you Shelley, and remember, we're all here for you
Thank you so much Diva
I know eventually I will and eventually I'll be able to look back on it all without that horrible pang in my chest and the need to cry for an hour straight
The trust thing is going to be a massive hurdle in any relationship I start from here on out because I trusted my ex so completely, I defended him even when people were telling me he could be seeing someone else. I believed so deeply that he could never do anything like this - that he must be going through something, depression or a hard time and that was why he was acting so weird. He was the person I trusted the most in the world and look what happened
I will try not to let it reflect on my future though but it may just mean when I do find that right man, I'll have to say "you just have to give me some time".
But for now, HOT BOD for my yet invisible new man!!!