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The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby ganymede » Tue Apr 15, 2014 2:20 pm

Girl power indeed! :mrgreen:

Thanks B, that really means the world to me. I currently feel anything but strong and I know that will eventually pass or at least get easier, I just really have to take one day at a time at the moment.

After much consideration, I'm seriously considering joining the gym again. I remember when I broke up with my second longest partner (10 months compared to 7 years :roll: ) I went gym crazy and would work out everyday and eat really well. The first 4 weeks saw me shed 10kg and whilst I won't be doing it that hard out this time round, I think it will keep me on the ball and motivated to go that little bit faster and push that little bit harder.

I need support during this hard time, or else I know I'll spiral back into bad habits and feel even worse. Considering a couple of PT sessions too, I know it's silly but I really find when people push me right then and there and when I know they're depending on me to make a difference in myself, then I'm more accountable and have something to prove. It's stupid but a lot of my drive is proving things to people or myself. I think that's why I've floundered so much because despite what I say, I know a huge part of why I was losing these kg's again was because I wanted to make my partner happy and proud.

And as possibly self destructive as it seems, fueling the fire of "I'll make him realise what he's missing out on" and "He'll regret this" may just get me through, at least for now. And then from there, hopefully the good, sensible feelings will overtake that and I'll truly realise why I'm doing this. I know it's odd but my mind is a strange and whimsical place :lol:
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby ganymede » Tue Apr 15, 2014 9:21 pm

So, I went to the gym. There was a very cute guy there but alas he had a girlfriend :lol:

All the same it was nice to talk weight loss and fitness with someone who completely understood. It had nothing to do with the cuteness, I swear... :wink:

I am well and truly POOPED! I jogged for 10 minutes straight then walked for 3 minutes then jogged for a further 7 minutes then walked for 5 mins then jogged for 5 and walked for the last 10 with an incline. Trying to replenish my body with as much water as it can handle as I'm very susceptible to migraines. So far so good. I was damn proud of my efforts tonight after floundering for so long. I think the gym is going to be a great motivator plus if I join now I get 2 free 30 min PT sessions.

I am extremely tired and my head hurts so off to bed I go...
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby Blitz » Wed Apr 16, 2014 4:34 am

I think that you must be on the road to recovery...you are starting to eye off the guys! :lol:

Sounds like you are doing it all very well there. Working hard and staying hydrated. You are doing the transition from walking to jogging sensibly...in next to no time you will be running that whole time - and have breath to spare! 8)

Keep it going...well done! :D

Kim
Was: 153.7kg
Lost: 87kg
Now: keeping it off for life!
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby ganymede » Wed Apr 16, 2014 7:59 am

Nothing has ever stopped me from having an innocent look in the past :lol: I think now I just remember that I'm single and every cute guy could potentially be the one who finally treats me right!

I have to say, I was feeling okay up until right before I went to bed and then my head was pounding :cry: By this point I'd have about 3-4 big glasses of water and sparkling water on top of that and a cup of tea :shock: I put a heat pack on my head but when I woke up at 1am and my head was absolutely pounding and I felt ill I submitted to taking something to make sure I was able to get to work today :roll:

Will have to do a bit of research as I don't want the fact I exerted myself to be the reason for it because I really enjoy pushing myself! I can't wait to be jogging like the wind! The scales going downward again will definitely help in that department.
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby ganymede » Wed Apr 16, 2014 8:32 am

Why do I want to lose weight (and keep it off for good!)

For my health

I have enough minor health problems to last me a lifetime. Pin in my ankle, bad hayfever, migraines, shoulder injury, bad back and neck etc... :roll:

I don't want to end up with anything serious and all because I couldn't bring myself to be bothered to live a healthy lifestyle. It seems silly when I put it that way. What reason do I have not to?

For my happiness

Generally in my life I have been happy although I have suffered depression for a very long time. And of course I am struggling to remain happy with my current circumstances but I know there was always my weight holding me back. I was happy to be me but I was always ashamed of my figure, especially since I'd done so well previously then would sabotage myself all over again :roll:

So it's important to me to do this for my own happiness, to have the figure I want, to effortlessly put on any clothes I own and have them look amazing! Plus I truly think my mood and true overall happiness will improve knowing I am capable of reaching my dreams, I think this will be a positive that can help me achieve my other goals with just as much gusto :)

For my future man

I know, I know. "If he really loves you, he'll love you for who you are" :roll:

But as I've found out recently, sometimes even that isn't enough :cry: I want my future man to know me as the bubbly, happy and carefree lady with the amazing body and for him to know that I really knuckled down to get there. Also, to be quite honest I'm really worried about "the dating scene" as I haven't dated in over 7 years and I have no idea what I'm doing! Having that insecurity about my weight on top of all the other worries I am sure to have about finding a great guy will not do me any favours. I don't want to be sitting in a crowded bar and simply have no one approach me and then be so self conscious about my bulge and end up feeling just horrible about myself.

To prove to myself that I WILL make it

This past month has been the absolute hardest of my life, hands down. It's the kind of thing you have a bad dream about and wake up and go THANK GOODNESS THAT WASN'T REAL. But this time, it's a hard, cold reality and something I'm finding very, very hard to swallow. So if I, ME, myself, can stand up, take charge, organise all my own bank accounts, organise figures and solicitors whilst working hard out at the gym and eating right and all while my heart is breaking over and over again, then who can stop me, REALLY!?

If I can get through THIS, I can pretty much do anything. If I can prove to myself that I won't give in to emotional eating and laying in bed feeling sorry for myself, then I can aim for whatever I want.

For my loved ones

They want me to be happy just as much as I do, if not more so sometimes. They want to see me tackle this challenge and come out on top because they want me to live the life I want to live and be healthy and active and move on with my life.

For the CLOTHES!!! :lol:

I'm still a girl at heart but currently, I LOATHE shopping. It's depressing, long winded and I always walk away with something that fits okay but not great. I want to be able to walk into a shop and not curse at all the small sizes left on the rack but no sizes to fit me. I want to be able to shrug and say "A 12 is too big, can you get me a 10?" :lol:

I want to be able to wear the daggiest clothes to the gym and still feel amazing. Or have a lazy day and just wear jeans and a t-shirt and still feel unbelievably beautiful. I want a shopping spree! :lol:
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby buttless » Wed Apr 16, 2014 3:49 pm

Shel, you are so brutally honest & brave in putting it all out there for everyone to read - you are stronger than u give yourself credit for. I hear u for all those reasons i think the most important one is "for u" u MUST love yourself before u can truly love another & u are working torwards that. I totally hear u on the clothes front wouldnt it be bloody fantastic if u could walk into any store & walk out even with one item put it on & feel on top of the world knowing u look a million dollars - your confidence & aura would go thru the roof plus youd be smiling like a cheshire cat for days. We're all walking ride beside u hand in hand my dear girl together we will endure the heartaches, the laughs & the weightloss. I so look forward to it.
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby DD Diva » Wed Apr 16, 2014 6:07 pm

buttless wrote: Shel, you are so brutally honest & brave in putting it all out there for everyone to read - you are stronger than u give yourself credit for.

Absolutely! You tell her Buttless, Shelley we're right behind you girl!! xx :)
buttless wrote: wouldnt it be bloody fantastic if u could walk into any store & walk out even with one item put it on & feel on top of the world knowing u look a million dollars

Hell yeah!!! :lol: Okay so I may not feel the full "million dollars" but it's definitely a "half a million" :lol: as I can now walk into any store and actually pick up something off the rack instead of walking straight passed the store (or if I did muster the courage to walk in) knowing that NOTHING would even close to fitting my (back then whopping size 28) body!! :oops: And true, I have a long way to go yet, but I'm still left wondering sometimes if the buzz I get every time I pick up a garment from the regular women's range in a size 16 or 18 (and not the "plus size" women's range) is excitement or electric shock from the garment hanger!!! :shock: Either way, I don't care because it feels soooooooooo good!!! :D
DD Diva
 

Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby ganymede » Wed Apr 16, 2014 7:06 pm

You are both amazing and I'm awed each time I visit here and find new inspiring messages of wisdom and sas, I love you guys!!!

I had a truly terrible day. Just started off funky from the get go, still so down about everything and then he was texting me about getting the keys and wouldn't understand WHY I didn't want to give them back to all the paperwork is finalised :roll: So, mental breakdown all the way home in the car, sobbing like a crazy person and trying not to kill anyone then anxiety to the max, heart palpitation, shaking... Needless to say I skipped the gym and will be taking it easy tonight. I'm so annoyed that this stuff affects me so much and unhinges my routine!!!

On a plus note though, I got my Lite n Easy this arvo so will be starting that in the morning and will definitely be joining up to the gym and getting myself back on track. It's damn hard right now, I tell ya. No matter what I do.
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby Blitz » Thu Apr 17, 2014 12:37 am

All you are required to do is...one step at a time. Do what you need to do - when it is needed to be done. :D

Good for you for making the list. Every reason you come up with is another reason why you MUST succeed! I spent a good year thinking up all the reasons why I should lose weight before I even began the formal part of the journey - and why it was more important than remaining overweight. I believe my success was because of this action.

I listed everything that I could think of under the sun...numbness of limbs when laying in bed because my weight was cutting off circulation when I laid on my side...loud snoring (and yep...stopping breathing etc)...not being able to put my socks on without it being a major undertaking...nasty rashes under my belly and between my legs (we don't talk about these things do we?)...not even being able to wipe my bottom properly because of it's largeness and my inability to reach right around! (gross - gross - I know - but we NEVER talk about it)...and a whole host more. Each one making the argument for change even more persuasive.

Interestingly, I thought I had covered ALL the benefits of losing the weight but I was wrong. During the journey, many times I discovered additional benefits that I would never have believed. It really is a wonderful journey into a better future.

One of the things that you listed is clothes. Just you wait!...you have no idea how wonderful this part of the world will be for you! I too use to loathe clothes shopping with a passion - now I'm turning into a real clotheshorse! I vividly remember back on my journey when Target were throwing out Bowie t-shirts at stupid prices ($3 to $5). Being a totally obsessed Bowie fan I bought one of each design (I did say obsessed!). Half of them were medium and the other half small. At the time I told my wife I'll see how I'll go...when I lost the weight I figured I would manage the medium and maybe - just maybe - squeeze into the small...if I didn't then she could have them to wear. One day came...and I could fit into the medium ones - I felt like a million dollars. A little while later I tried the small - to my amazement they fit tight but looked terrific! Since then there is been no stopping me. Recently, a found a secondhand tuxedo in a op shop that looks real cool on me. This on a guy who used to look like a Mafia hitman in a suit! The only down side is I use to never find XXXXL or XXXL clothes in the op shops - now most of the stuff on the racks is too big! :lol:

Kim
Was: 153.7kg
Lost: 87kg
Now: keeping it off for life!
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby ganymede » Thu Apr 17, 2014 8:12 am

Last weigh in: 87.9kg
TW: 88.6kg

To be honest, this could have been a LOT worse. Granted, I've still gained 2.7kg since the end of the last challenge but I'm actually really proud of myself that it wasn't so much more. I think the jogging I managed twice this week saved me from a far larger gain. While I've been totally gung-ho about rejoining the gym this week, I'm going to give it the long weekend to make a final decision. I had the absolute WORST anxiety last night, to the point where my chest felt like it was going to explode and was really tight. I know why it happened, because my partner wanted my set of keys back but the property is still technically in my name and he couldn't understand why I wanted to keep them when none of my stuff is there any more :roll: It really, really got to me and made me very upset.

ALL of these reasons are valid ones and I'm sure as time goes on, I will think of more. I think I'll be adding to the list quite frequently as the kg's start to go down again.

For now, the long weekend is almost upon us and I'm so glad. Doing the "usual routine" this week has been far harder than the couple of weeks previous so I'm trying as hard as possible just to focus on my weight loss goals and exercise but little else.
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby DD Diva » Thu Apr 17, 2014 8:21 am

ganymede wrote:Last weigh in: 87.9kg
TW: 88.6kg

That's fantastic Shelley, really to have gone up less than a kilo considering everything you've been through is quite an achievement! I'd have binged like there was no tomorrow! :oops:
Time now to breathe a sigh of relief that your efforts weren't totally undone, dust yourself off and move forward (and of course weight-wise) downward!
I know you can do it again, and with style as you always do! :)
So tuck in to the L&E and make us all proud (we are anyway, but okay) prouder!!! :lol:
DD Diva
 

Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby ganymede » Thu Apr 17, 2014 1:13 pm

I'm on it, Diva! ;)

Will be spending the long weekend relaxing and exercising and sleeping! :lol:

Happy Easter! :)
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby Blitz » Fri Apr 18, 2014 1:42 am

Happy Easter Shelley! :D

My daughter asked me today why Good Friday was Good Friday and not Bad Friday because of what happened to Jesus on that day. I told her it was Good Friday because it was good for us. It was through all that badness that God was able to show this love for us and give us hope. If Easter has any meaning apart from an orgy of chocolate egg consumption then surely this is indeed the season of renewal, resurrection - and above all - HOPE!

Enjoy your Easter Shelley...

Kim
Was: 153.7kg
Lost: 87kg
Now: keeping it off for life!
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby DD Diva » Fri Apr 18, 2014 12:09 pm

Blitz wrote:My daughter asked me today why Good Friday was Good Friday and not Bad Friday because of what happened to Jesus on that day. I told her it was Good Friday because it was good for us. It was through all that badness that God was able to show this love for us and give us hope. If Easter has any meaning apart from an orgy of chocolate egg consumption then surely this is indeed the season of renewal, resurrection - and above all - HOPE!

Kim

Your daughter is a clever girl, Kim! :wink:

Hope, yes definitely, and this Easter (more than any other) I'm going to be doing A LOT of HOPING:

To stop at just one (little) chocolate Easter Bunny!
To ignore the temptation to have a second helping of Sunday dinner!
To remember to go for a walk after I've indulged in both (the above)!

But most of all.......

That each and every one of you out there will remember what Easter is really all about. Sacrifice and love! Sacrifice a little, and you'll love the scales come the next morning!! :wink:

Happy Easter everyone. :)

xx
Diva
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Re: The Healing Process - Shelley's Weight Loss Challenge

Postby ganymede » Fri Apr 18, 2014 12:36 pm

Blitz wrote:Happy Easter Shelley! :D

My daughter asked me today why Good Friday was Good Friday and not Bad Friday because of what happened to Jesus on that day. I told her it was Good Friday because it was good for us. It was through all that badness that God was able to show this love for us and give us hope. If Easter has any meaning apart from an orgy of chocolate egg consumption then surely this is indeed the season of renewal, resurrection - and above all - HOPE!

Enjoy your Easter Shelley...

Kim


Whilst I have different views than yourself Kim, I still believe there is a very strong message through Easter and it's not just the chance to have a four day weekend :lol: It's a chance for giving to others, sharing the time with family and generally being thankful. And yes, renewal and hope as well! And whilst my parents are away and I'm at home by myself, I'm still thankful and happy to spend the down time watching what I eat and exercising and relaxing. My parents DID give me 130g of chocolatey goodness for Easter, I'm so torn! :lol: But will only eat some if I burn enough calories for the day to not put a dent in my work in the wrong way. If it fits in, yes if not, big fat NO!

And I just calculated it... almost 700 calories :shock: Maybe I'll wait...

I need to be careful this week as luckily the other 12 Week Challenge I started again has let me re-join so I've got a lot of motivating to do! :mrgreen: I came second in the last one, I want to prove I can do it again!
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
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