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My No Binge Challenge

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Postby molligrub » Tue Jul 31, 2007 11:09 pm

Another day over, phew. I am exhausted. It is so tiring sometimes being conscious of whatever you put in your mouth and constantly fighting against yourself to not binge.

Reasonably good day today - ate 2075 cals, had a deficit of 577 cals. Did 2.5km walking, 35km cycling (in a ferocious headwind) and 250 situps.

Am still struggling (as always) with the picking at the fridge after dinner thing. Managed to sneak in quite a few bites of this that and the other, had to keep reminding myself that the only person I was cheating was myself.

Weigh in tomorrow morning - hope I've lost something. I'm weighing in Mon, Wed, Fri. If I try and cut it back any more than I start jumping on and off the scales 50 times a day instead, LOL.

Molli 8)
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Postby molligrub » Thu Aug 02, 2007 8:12 pm

Okay, you might well say that I've had a 'defining moment'. After days and weeks of half-hearted attempts at this diet thing, and big promises of what I'm going to do to get the weight off, it has all failed. I was having yet another binge today when I realized that I have been doing this behaviour for over half my life (since I was 12 I'm now almost 25) and if I don't stop it NOW then it will plague me forever.

I am wasting my life focusing on "oh I've ruined it today so I might as well enjoy myself and start over tomorrow".

I am not being strict with myself at all. I know how to lose weight - I am a whiz when it comes to nutrition and calories and exercise (studied nutrition during high school and also dabbled in it during my nursing studies) so there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for my lack of success. I know better than to indulge in bingeing - I know of all the rotten side effects it can have on one's health.

My defining moment really came when a cheesecake arrived at work today - I didn't even have second thoughts - just decided to "have a piece and start afresh tomorrow". No worrying about how this would affect my weight loss journey, which is scary because it means I have come to expect that I will binge and remain at this weight forever.

When I was eating it I just thought to myself that this wasn't good enough - I was CHOOSING to binge over being healthy and lean and happy in myself. I was CHOOSING to not lose weight. I was CHOOSING momentary 'happiness' over long-term success and achievement.

That's when it really struck me - I am fully in control of myself, and I am just fooling myself that when I binge I am out of control. When I binge it is ME CHOOSING to binge. It is a choice, and I have been making the wrong one.

As from tonight I am CHOOSING to have delayed satisfaction - that is to say no to things at the time in the belief that sooner rather than later my hard work will pay off.

It is a choice, and as from now I am choosing the right one.

Everybody - watch this fat fly off me!!
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Aug 02, 2007 9:17 pm

well done molli, you really needed that defining moment to help come to the realisation that you are worthy of losing weight but you just need to put the effort in and be in the right frame of mind.

the thing is you KNOW you can do it and you can successfully achieve your weightloss goal. everytime you go to binge think about how you have felt previously when you have binged and the aftermath. its like childbirth lol... its not something you want to go back day after day to do! it does take its toll on your body.
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Postby molligrub » Wed Aug 08, 2007 8:44 am

Ugh. Well whaddya know. After being so cocky yesterday that I hadn't binged after my night shift yesterday, I woke up from my afternoon nap, and without even thinking went straight to the pantry and ate 2 huge triple chocolate brownies with icecream. Man they tasted great, but I was really annoyed with myself.

I'll have to watch that next time - I seem to be more in danger of making bad choices when I'm still half asleep LOL.

Ok - so the plan for today is no refined carbohydrates - I'm trying to eat more veges and fruits as well. I'll post my plan under daily food diary.

Cheers, Molli
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Postby SarahC » Wed Aug 08, 2007 12:25 pm

Great plan Molli - good luck for today!

Are you able to remove the tempting items from your house (other than by eating them lol), or are they required for other people living there?

I'm a shocker for the after dinner picking as well. What I'm doing at the moment is I have a piece of paper on my fridge and whenever I pick something, I write it on there. Then I make an estimate of how many calories it all adds up to (which is hard when the quantities are so tiny!) and enter that into my calculations for the day. So far I think it's working, and it has stopped me a few times from getting stuck into certain things...
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Postby molligrub » Wed Aug 08, 2007 1:26 pm

Hey Sarah - I can remove most of the tempting things if I want to, but the thing is, I want to train myself not to binge on them even while they're in the pantry, coz then I will know I am totally in control of my binging. Once I get on a good run I'm alright, but the first few days are the hardest because I'm bloated from my binge, and couldn't really be bothered dieting.

I like to try and add little 'treats' into my day as an added incentive - eg today if I do a certain amount of exercise then I MAY (or may not) be able to add a little something (eg choc) to supper and still be in my calories for the day.

I've found that even when those items are not in the house, it just makes me crave them even more, then I go out and buy them LOL!

:roll:
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Postby molligrub » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:22 am

Hi there!!

I am so excited. It's day three today without binging, and I just KNOW that I am not going to cave in. I don't know what's happened - I want to lose weight with a vengeance, I haven't even been tempted to pick at the fridge, and there is no way that I am gonna break this time!!

Life is good! I am happily rearranging my clothes in my wardrobe, because I know it's only gonna be a matter of weeks now before I can fit into them again.

I cannot remember the last time that I felt this in control of my eating and weight loss.

Luv to yas all, Molli.

I will weigh in every 2 days or so, just because I am so excited about this I cannot hold off any longer!!

Yesterday I was down to 56.1kg already!! Yeehaa! I can almost taste success.
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Postby milkyway » Fri Aug 10, 2007 2:04 pm

Good on you molli :) You sound so motivated. You can do this :)
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
------------------------
SW: 74.3kg - 1/1/09
CW: 71.1kg - 3/5/09
GW 62kg
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Postby molligrub » Fri Aug 10, 2007 10:38 pm

I have my first triathlon of the season coming up in a few weeks, so I am getting motivated to train hard. Have kind of let the cycling slip a bit over the last few months, so need to get my fitness back up.

I am using the weight loss as an incentive to train more - that is, the more I train the more I'll lose!! :D

Not one extra bite from the fridge today!! Whoohoo. I am a legend!! 8)
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Postby sassi » Sat Aug 11, 2007 8:52 am

sounds like you have some real focus :)

good luck with the tri training :D
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Postby molligrub » Sat Aug 11, 2007 9:30 am

Thanks Sassi!

Yeah, I think things have finally clicked for me - I am sick of stuffing around, binging and feeling guilty about it. I just kept asking myself what I wanted more - to eat that extra food, or to lose weight. I think the weight loss side finally won out!!

I am feeling so motivated I cannot believe it. 55.5kg this morning!! :D :lol: 8) :shock:
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Postby milkyway » Sat Aug 11, 2007 3:11 pm

What a great reward for your positive mindset and efforts!

You've inspired me and I'm really considering doing traithlons this summer... I just don't think my body is meant to handle long runs, much as I want to do them (or perhaps I just need to build up slowly and avoid injury that way) which is why a multi-sport might be good. I love swimming, but it's still the bike that's got me going 'urgh!'

I think I'll run the Melbourne half marathon and that will be it. Long running career over!

My gym has a tri club, but they meet at 6AM mon-thurs. I'm such a night owl, I just don't think I would go consistently.
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
------------------------
SW: 74.3kg - 1/1/09
CW: 71.1kg - 3/5/09
GW 62kg
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Postby molligrub » Sat Aug 18, 2007 9:18 am

55.2kg this morning, yeehaa, yeehaa! And that's after a few days of less than ideal eating (more than a few naughty things sneaked in here and there :oops: )

But it's given me fresh incentive to keep going.
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Postby HeatherL » Sat Aug 18, 2007 10:53 pm

Try having only healthy things in the fridge to snack on, I know its still hard to resist the temptation to go out and get something but I've learnt that when I'm really tempted to binge, I now turn on the computer and talk to all my new friends on the forum. ( Since no-ones allowed to eat in front of the computer in our house this usually does the trick) Good luck with it, you are making progress, its just a matter of time.

And to use your bike as an anology. if you fall off just pick yourself back up and get right back on.
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Postby molligrub » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:57 am

Thanks Heather,

Unfortunately it was big family gatherings and all the related food that they plonked in front of me that undid me rather than the food in the fridge this time - no real binges, just eating things that I wasn't really sure about calorie content etc etc.

But on the good side - weight is 54.7kg this morning!! I haven't seen under the 55s in many years.

I am definitely inspired to keep going strong now!
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