Ok, so some of you will know I am doing a PhD in clinical psychology so should in theory know all about changing behaviour etc BUT I STILL DO THIS TO MYSELF!!!! GAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
So today while shopping, I spot tinned plum pudding. Yeah, exactly, what the F was I thinking? Anyway my thought process goes something like:
"Mmmm, plum pudding, looks good. Nah I shouldn't get it..................
It does look nice though. Maybe I could just get it and eat it when the bloke's not home, that way no-one will know (if that thought makes sense to anyone, please let me know cause as far as I know, eating in secret doesn't counteract kj's and besides I'm keping a written food diary that the bloke is under instructions to check in on now and again to keep me on my toes
I guess I could just get it and hen have it in the cupboard for "emergencies" (well if that isn't the biggest excuse I've ever heard. What a load of bollocks
SO in the trolly it goes. I get home and start unpacking.
"Hmmm, whEre should I put this, Allan might find it if put it with the rest of the tinned stuff. Maybe I could just say it was something that I thought might be nice to try. Nah, he'd never buy that. I'll just eat it now." NO THOUGHT WHATSOEVER IN THAT SENTENCE!!!
So I put the whole 2 serves (cause what was I going to do with leftovers?) in a bowl, zap it in the microwave. Scrub the tin and put it in the outside recycling bin (so the bloke wouldn't notice, meanwhile considering the potential of just forgetting about this little incident in my food diary) and start eating. First couple of bites were alright, not like grandmas. I got half way through and decided I couldn't eat it all. And threw it in the rubbish.... after lifting a heap of stuff to hide it.
SO I'm outing myself
1) I'M AN EMOTIONAL EATER AND I'M NOT PROUD OF IT, I JUST TRIED TO EAT A WHOLE PUDDING BECAUSE IT WAS THERE!!!!
2) I'M HIDING MY EATING BECAUSE 'M ASHAMED OF MYSELF AND THE LACK OF CONTROL I HAVE OVER WHAT I SHOVE IN MY MOUTH
3) I HAVE VERY VERY UNHELPFUL SELF TALK ABOUT ALL THIS
I will forever in my professional practice remember how hard it is to change behaviour and NEVER be hard on my clients for struggling to change.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!
"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"
"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"