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Physician Heal Thyself... If only it were so easy

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Physician Heal Thyself... If only it were so easy

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sat Sep 06, 2008 5:41 pm

Ok, so some of you will know I am doing a PhD in clinical psychology so should in theory know all about changing behaviour etc BUT I STILL DO THIS TO MYSELF!!!! GAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

So today while shopping, I spot tinned plum pudding. Yeah, exactly, what the F was I thinking? Anyway my thought process goes something like:

"Mmmm, plum pudding, looks good. Nah I shouldn't get it..................
It does look nice though. Maybe I could just get it and eat it when the bloke's not home, that way no-one will know (if that thought makes sense to anyone, please let me know cause as far as I know, eating in secret doesn't counteract kj's and besides I'm keping a written food diary that the bloke is under instructions to check in on now and again to keep me on my toes)
I guess I could just get it and hen have it in the cupboard for "emergencies" (well if that isn't the biggest excuse I've ever heard. What a load of bollocks)"

SO in the trolly it goes. I get home and start unpacking.

"Hmmm, whEre should I put this, Allan might find it if put it with the rest of the tinned stuff. Maybe I could just say it was something that I thought might be nice to try. Nah, he'd never buy that. I'll just eat it now." :shock: :shock: NO THOUGHT WHATSOEVER IN THAT SENTENCE!!!

So I put the whole 2 serves (cause what was I going to do with leftovers?) in a bowl, zap it in the microwave. Scrub the tin and put it in the outside recycling bin (so the bloke wouldn't notice, meanwhile considering the potential of just forgetting about this little incident in my food diary) and start eating. First couple of bites were alright, not like grandmas. I got half way through and decided I couldn't eat it all. And threw it in the rubbish.... after lifting a heap of stuff to hide it.

SO I'm outing myself
1) I'M AN EMOTIONAL EATER AND I'M NOT PROUD OF IT, I JUST TRIED TO EAT A WHOLE PUDDING BECAUSE IT WAS THERE!!!!
2) I'M HIDING MY EATING BECAUSE 'M ASHAMED OF MYSELF AND THE LACK OF CONTROL I HAVE OVER WHAT I SHOVE IN MY MOUTH
3) I HAVE VERY VERY UNHELPFUL SELF TALK ABOUT ALL THIS

I will forever in my professional practice remember how hard it is to change behaviour and NEVER be hard on my clients for struggling to change.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Re: Physician Heal Thyself... If only it were so easy

Postby Mandie » Sun Sep 07, 2008 4:38 am

Hear hear Tegan..

All the time I give advice to patients about how to lose weight, make time for exercise etc.. and I'm my own worst enemy! I find myself eating a bag of chips, and I actually consider finishing the bag, then running to the shops and buying another bag and eating half so that Joel won't know that the half a bag he had left went missing! I used to hide evidence of food too - throw cans directly in the big rubbish bin and hide it.. ugh!

Just gotta remember that we are all human.. you can know the right things to do and still not be able - just gotta keep trying I guess!
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Re: Physician Heal Thyself... If only it were so easy

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sun Sep 07, 2008 10:37 am

I've done that very same thing!!! Biscuits, chocolate you name it. "oops, I shouldn't have eaten that many, the bloke will notice. I'll just eat them all, then get another packet and eat up until the point they were at" :shock: WTF??? Even to the point of putting the new ones in the old packet so that even the packet still looks the same :roll:
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Physician Heal Thyself... If only it were so easy

Postby ali76 » Sun Sep 07, 2008 10:54 am

Thank God I'm not alone!!
SW - 75.9
CW - 68
Happy weight - 68 (I MADE IT!!!)
GW - 65 (for now - and until I conceive!)
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Location: Adelaide

Re: Physician Heal Thyself... If only it were so easy

Postby Rosie Peters » Mon Sep 08, 2008 9:53 pm

It's scary that I think we can all relate to your story more or less - and it so often involves the poor supportive loving bloke finding out.

You know, your first two findings, being an emotional eater (not proud) and hiding your eating (ashamed) are really serious self sabotaging stuff - put downs and self hate. You don't need that. You deserve better.

It takes time to learn to be kind to yourself, but your 3rd point, that you have bad self talk, is something you could work on pretty immediately. Try this if you like - every time you catch yourself talking yourself into something, talk yourself out of it instead. It can be quite fun.

Instead of "oh yum, a pudding" try something like "hey look, a tin of lardy sugary fat, who in their right mind would eat that stuff" and make it sound convincing.

You have to consciously practice this type of talk till you reprogram your association. Maybe that could work for you. :D It does for me.
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Re: Physician Heal Thyself... If only it were so easy

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:37 pm

Rosie Peters wrote:You know, your first two findings, being an emotional eater (not proud) and hiding your eating (ashamed) are really serious self sabotaging stuff - put downs and self hate. You don't need that. You deserve better.

It takes time to learn to be kind to yourself, but your 3rd point, that you have bad self talk, is something you could work on pretty immediately. Try this if you like - every time you catch yourself talking yourself into something, talk yourself out of it instead. It can be quite fun.

Instead of "oh yum, a pudding" try something like "hey look, a tin of lardy sugary fat, who in their right mind would eat that stuff" and make it sound convincing.

You have to consciously practice this type of talk till you reprogram your association. Maybe that could work for you. :D It does for me.


Yup, and that's exactly what we're taught to teach other people to help them!! So much harder to do than to say though.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Physician Heal Thyself... If only it were so easy

Postby Rosie Peters » Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:14 pm

We have to practice caring about ourselves as much as we care about other people - too much people pleasing and not enough treating ourselves with the care, concern and respect we give others. Why do we find it easy to give and almost impossible to take? A psychiatrist (maybe even a fat one :D ) would have a field day...
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Re: Physician Heal Thyself... If only it were so easy

Postby sansarella » Mon Sep 15, 2008 3:07 pm

(post deleted by mod by request of poster)
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Re: Physician Heal Thyself... If only it were so easy

Postby ali76 » Mon Sep 15, 2008 3:28 pm

Oh no....I have a packet of fun sized milky ways at home....guess the boy's going to get them all now cos that's what I'll be thinking of if I eat one!! :shock:
SW - 75.9
CW - 68
Happy weight - 68 (I MADE IT!!!)
GW - 65 (for now - and until I conceive!)
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Posts: 1794
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Location: Adelaide


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