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Finding it hard...

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Finding it hard...

Postby redrose78 » Wed Nov 12, 2008 8:23 pm

I am having a bad week, can't seem to get myself motivated, have only managed an hours exercise this week. To top it off I am skipping meals again or having snacks for meals. Tonight I made sure I ate a real meal. I made a spinach salad with a small piece of minute steak. Last night I had a dozen water crackers with an avocado and a tomato on them. Yesterday all I ate during the day was my breakfast, which is two pieces of toast and a coffee and then rice crackers thru the day. I don't usually count calories but I know I would have gotten about half of what I should be getting. Same thing Monday, had a dozen water crackers with low fat cottage cheese and tomato for dinner.
I know I am not going to lose any weight this week. That has been my problem as to why I can't lose weight. I do not eat enough. I was going great. I mean I felt like a pig, eating constantly thru the day. It was making me feel fat and greedy. I have been going good for three weeks now with the eating. Not sure why I have thrown it all in, seems stupid. I just feel so over all the eating.
Oh well, big weekend, got a big drinks night coming up. Maybe I should just take the rest of this week off. Like not bother worrying about eating so much and then just get back to it next week. :roll:
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Re: Finding it hard...

Postby meegs » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:17 pm

Hi Red,
We ALL have those weeks.
I am certainly not going to preach about what you should or should not be doing, as I am the up and down queen!!!

All I can suggest, is to try to make the best choices that you can.

Try to go for a little walk. Try to choose the best food that you can.

And if you fall off the wagon, try not to beat yourself up.

The whole point is that this is for life, not just for now, so you just have to try the best that you can. We are all going to have bad days/weeks.

I hope this has helped.

Thinking of you,
Meegs
xxx
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Re: Finding it hard...

Postby PumpkinKitty » Fri Nov 14, 2008 1:01 pm

(((((hugs))))) redrose - if it makes you feel any better, at least you are making healthy choices for what you do eat (unlike me)

keep strong and stay positive and you will get there soon enough.
PumpkinKitty
 

Re: Finding it hard...

Postby Alexandra » Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:39 pm

Oh no redrose - *hugs* things are not so bad, really! I think you are really hard on yourself. You are going really great and in the grand scheme of things, your weight loss efforts are A1! We could all do things better - exercise more, eat this, not eat that and everything else, fact is, each day throws new challenges and we do the best we can and from your post, you are really doing well. Opps :oops: now I'm getting preachy, thing I'm trying to say is don't be so hard on yourself, listen to the stuff you are saying to yourself and make sure you are your own best friend :D You deserve it :D And who knows, the scales may surprise you this week,
take care, Alexandra
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Re: Finding it hard...

Postby redrose78 » Sat Nov 15, 2008 9:06 am

Thanks for your kind words everyone. :)
As it turns out this morning I was back to 102kgs. I was so frustrated seeing that awful number again. I didn't think I would see it again, thought it was gone for good. I think it just dragged up a lot of emotional stuff. Like I have tried for years to shift the weight and it seemed nothing worked. I would lose then gain again. Sometimes I think I'm not going to get to my goal weight but hey, no harm trying, I might suprise myself. I looked at a pic of myself the other day. Well two actually. I look at a pic of me Christmas 2001. I was size 12, I looked good, I actually liked myself, was proud of me. Then I looked at a pic of me Christmas 2002. I was so big. Looked all bloated. I was size 24. Everyone has reason for weight gain, but I haven't shared my story about it.
Well in Feb 2002 I was diagnosed with cancer. I went thru 6 and a half months of chemo, was pumped full of steroids and I put on weight fast. But being so sick I could hardly eat and definately could not exercise. Then I had 6 weeks break. I found that towards the end of that 6 weeks I could eat. Like food tasted good again and I was keeping it down. So I did over indulge a bit. Then came the radiation therapy. Only five weeks of that but again, couldn't eat much, gave me really bad indigestion. So again after that finished I was like a starved animal in a way. I ate and ate. Food just tasted so good. I had a good Christmas, ate what I wanted. I enjoyed it.
In the new year came the job of trying to shift the weight. I started to walk to the shops but more often then not had to ring for someone to come and get me to take me home. I had no energy to get back. The shops were only a 10 minute walk away. After months of no exercise and putting on over 30kgs I couldn't manage much. It took me six months to be able to walk for 15 minutes without losing my breath.
So, since then I have had problems with my weight. I mourned the person I had lost (I was fit and active, enjoyed exercise and loved life) and hated myself for being so big. I also have problems with depression and anxiety which doesn't help. Over the years I have very slowly lost the weight, but I am determined that my Christmas pics next year are going to make me proud. I would like to see that happy, healthy person again. I don't mind if I am not a size 12 but a 14 would be nice. :D
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Re: Finding it hard...

Postby Czarina » Sat Nov 15, 2008 5:08 pm

You have been through a tough few years, so don't beat yourself up! But, please make sure you eat enough, your health is very important as you know, count calories if you must, I like it because you don't have to think about it as much, just stick to your calories and you will be fine. I also had the problem of feeling like I was pigging out and eating too much, although I knew in my head that that was what my body needed, it might take you a month or two to get over that feeling, but you will get there!

Good luck. :)
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Re: Finding it hard...

Postby Alexandra » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:59 am

Red- thanks for sharing your story. After the mountains you've already climbed, losing weight is just a little hill compared :D Yes, I agree - be kind to yourself and try to see how far you've come rather than dwelling on how far you have to go :D stick to your plan and you'll get there *hugs* best wishes, Alexandra
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HW: 127 kg
CW: 93.7 kg
GW: 68 kg
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Re: Finding it hard...

Postby redrose78 » Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:31 pm

Thank you for your kind words ladies. :)
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Re: Finding it hard...

Postby PumpkinKitty » Wed Nov 19, 2008 12:19 am

(((hugs))) redrose

can I say, I'm not surprised you couldn't get to the shops and back again - there's a jolly great hill in the way - even a healthy problem who's not used to that walk would have trouble I bet.
(PS people - I know redrose and so know the shops she's meaning - well I think I do anyway)

You are a beautiful person - inside and out - and you will get to your goal sooner than you think. ((((hugs))))
PumpkinKitty
 

Re: Finding it hard...

Postby redrose78 » Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:53 pm

Hi PK, thanks for your comments. Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, haven't been in here much this week. Ams till trying hard. Been exercising and eating right, can't wait to see the results on Sunday morning. Hope you are doing well this week.
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