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It can't bring me down....

Weightloss Confessions where you can confess your weight loss sins.

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It can't bring me down....

Postby Determined1 » Sun Jan 31, 2010 8:16 am

I've just got to write this and it's easy here.....

I can't believe I've smoked this week?! I feel like crap, I've ate too much, had beers, all because I felt stressed out because my husband lies, gambles, has a drug habit, depression, feels suicidal. Everytime I turn around he is addicted to something else. Yet, he appears to be a wonderful husband and father. People look at us and see a perfect family. He works hard, helps around the house, cares for our kids, we have weekends away, nice dinners, go to BBQ's like a happy little family. In some ways we are happy, we barely argue... we all love eachother...we carry on like a happy little family but I'm not sure why I love him. While he is at work he downs $100 of speed, then stops past the chemist and grabs some painkillers. He only sleeps 4 hours a night and goes again the next day. He lies to his parents and they give him money, he lies to me and even dodges receipts so I think bills have been paid. None of this is right though still......I want to grow old with him and him with me. It wasn't always this way, we were soul mates and just adored eachother....all we wanted was "to grow old together". Though at what point is enough....really enough?

I've said it...I feel better...back to my yoghurt and oats and my little "perfect" family.......

Re: It can't bring me down....

Postby Determined1 » Sat May 22, 2010 12:42 pm

Things are on the right track now...our happy ending is a long way off though hopefully with treatment, support and long-term counselling my husband will find his feet again x

Re: It can't bring me down....

Postby FatFukShrinking » Sat May 22, 2010 1:03 pm

Hey there

Wow that's alot you have had to deal with. It's hard to keep up appearances sometimes isn't it. I really hope that yourself and your husband have gotten some help and are on the right path. You shouldn't have to put up with those kind of lies from someone you love, but i completely understand why you wouldn't want to leave.

SW: 121.3kg - 20/04/2010
First Goal: 109 kilos (Losing 10% of my body weight)
Second Goal: 99 kilos (Getting out of triple digits)
Third goal: 85 kilos (Getting back to a weight where i felt more like ME)
Ultimate long term goal: 60 kilos (Losing half of my start weight)
Posts: 150
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 1:42 pm

Re: It can't bring me down....

Postby Determined1 » Sun Jun 06, 2010 2:18 pm

Thanks, alot of people have judged me and in the last few months, the truth has come out and I've lost alot of friends because of choosing to stay. At the end of the day, it's not easy. There are days when I hate him or I just feel so embarassed about what has happened. But there are others when it's like the last 12 months didn't happen and we are just like we used to be. So I just figure the right decision for me is to give him the chance to make it right. Thanks for your kind words :)

Re: It can't bring me down....

Postby mishil » Sun Jun 13, 2010 12:46 am

I really hope that my workout can surely help me from being big. It's kinda stressed me so much when people are really looking at me, staring... It really brings me down. :(
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:30 pm

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