I slipped up. But I think I learned something.

[mary_in_adelaide]

Last night I had too many slices of pizza...it was home made, relatively healthy pizza but, as we all know, even if it's healthy you can still have too much. I certainly went way over my fat & calorie allotment for the day.

Mostly I over ate because I was awake all night. And bored. And depressed (I keep hoping my insomnia will be cured).

This is a pretty regular pattern for me. I eat healthy for a while then I have a night or two of being unable to sleep...I eat a load of crap...I figure "oh well I've screwed up the healthy eating so I'll just go back to my old habits". It normally takes a few weeks for me to work my head around to thinking that I should do something about my weight. Again.

This morning I decided not to do my walk and figured that since I can eat what I like I don't need to prepare anything healthy to take with me for lunch so I'll have a hamburger and chips while I'm out shopping.

While at the shopping mall though I suddenly thought that the only person who would be suffering if I ate a hamburger instead of something good is me. No one else would know (or care) but I started wondering if I really would feel better if I ate a hamburger.

I decided I really wouldn't feel better at all.

Of course I had to have something (I was starving by then and was quite a long way from home) but I chose to have 2 vegetarian sushi rolls instead of the hamburger (and no chips in sight) and have promised myself a long walk this evening when the sun goes down (a bit too hot right now).

So while I'm not thrilled about scoffing all that pizza last night I am kind of happy that I managed to get back on the wagon more quickly than I normally do. And it really struck me that I have to be ever-vigilant about eating as entertainment (i.e. when I'm bored). I know I still have a long way to go but I don't feel as bad as I did at 3AM this morning.

For anyone who's read to the bottom of this ramble...thank you. I'm really posting this for me rather than on the expectation that anyone will read it. I promised myself I would be honest this time. And that means being honest with you all as well as myself.

[kate_turner2000]

of course we would read it mary! i can certainly relate and so can many people about the 'oh well ive ruined my hard work i might as well eat whatever i want the damage is done!' but you are right, you are the only one who would be suffering - no one else. you have done the right thing and well done for confessing- we all cant be angels all the time!

[zeedeveelgirl]

That's fantastic, Mary!! It sounds like you've made a breakthrough with your weight loss! Isn't it all too easy to just think "Oh well I've buggered it up now, might as well keep buggering it up!!"
It feels so good to keep going after slipups, doesn't it?
I think it really helps having everyone here to 'report back to' as well! I don't know how everyone else here feels, but I want you all to be proud of me! So that definitely helps if I am thinking of falling off the wagon, or if I have slipped up a little.
Good work, and keep it up
Em

[slimmindown]

You made a good choice with the sushi Mary. i bet you feel better for it and thats what the pay off is, feeling good today about your choices dont focus on any other time other than right now this moment.
This is the only moment you can control,and by not eating the hamburger you have gone one step closer to your goal of weight loss Well done

And enjoy your walk tonight

[mary_in_adelaide]

Thanks for the support and encouragement ladies. Most of the people in my immediate 3D world are not terribly supportive of my weight loss efforts so it's very much appreciated to get some support.

I've been beating myself up for a lot of the day but I'm going to focus on the positives and what I have done / decided rather than focus on where I slipped up.

It's funny you say that about having to report back to this forum Emma. That was actually one of my thoughts. Initially I thought that I would say nothing (I mean I don't know you people and you're never going to know about my slip unless I tell you). But then I thought that if I said nothing I wouldn't feel 'right' about hanging out in the forums. I felt like it would be dishonest somehow...like I wouldn't deserve the support and information that this forum offers.

Some psychologist needs to do a study on how it is people can develop these feelings towards a group of complete strangers. I guess it's similar to AA.

Anyway it works

[kate_turner2000]

I also like knowing i have somewhere to turn to and you know no one is going to put you down for slipping up.

[zeedeveelgirl]

Yeah it's funny how a group of people you have never met but feel like you know so well can make you feel accountable for your little slipups!!!
Good on you for 'reporting' back to us Mary You could have just swept it under the carpet and decided not to tell us, but you did! So good work

That's exactly it too Kate, no one here is going to scold anyone else for slipping up because we all know how hard it is!!

[SarahC]

Hi Mary. Well done on reporting to us. You made some great choices there with the sushi (sushi is soooo much more delicious than a greasy old hamburger, but I love sushi so I'm a bit biased!). And at least the pizza was a nice home made one too

Sometimes it helps to talk about your slip ups with people that understand and are supportive. You can go a but nutty keeping it to yourself

[Lolly]

Mary you are a champion for making the right decision after deciding to do the wrong thing (the hamburger/sushi swap) I am proud of you.

I get what you mean about being accountable - I had a horrible slip up with alcohol on Friday night - and felt I had to post it or I would feel guilty being here and offering support and getting it.

[Pinkie]

Way to go Mary!! You've just overcome half the battle! That is an enormous big pat on the back for you hun - you've done so well. Good on you