Last night I had too many slices of pizza...it was home made, relatively healthy pizza but, as we all know, even if it's healthy you can still have too much. I certainly went way over my fat & calorie allotment for the day.
Mostly I over ate because I was awake all night. And bored. And depressed (I keep hoping my insomnia will be cured).
This is a pretty regular pattern for me. I eat healthy for a while then I have a night or two of being unable to sleep...I eat a load of crap...I figure "oh well I've screwed up the healthy eating so I'll just go back to my old habits". It normally takes a few weeks for me to work my head around to thinking that I should do something about my weight. Again.
This morning I decided not to do my walk and figured that since I can eat what I like I don't need to prepare anything healthy to take with me for lunch so I'll have a hamburger and chips while I'm out shopping.
While at the shopping mall though I suddenly thought that the only person who would be suffering if I ate a hamburger instead of something good is me. No one else would know (or care) but I started wondering if I really would feel better if I ate a hamburger.
I decided I really wouldn't feel better at all.
Of course I had to have something (I was starving by then and was quite a long way from home) but I chose to have 2 vegetarian sushi rolls instead of the hamburger (and no chips in sight) and have promised myself a long walk this evening when the sun goes down (a bit too hot right now).
So while I'm not thrilled about scoffing all that pizza last night I am kind of happy that I managed to get back on the wagon more quickly than I normally do. And it really struck me that I have to be ever-vigilant about eating as entertainment (i.e. when I'm bored). I know I still have a long way to go but I don't feel as bad as I did at 3AM this morning.
For anyone who's read to the bottom of this ramble...thank you. I'm really posting this for me rather than on the expectation that anyone will read it. I promised myself I would be honest this time. And that means being honest with you all as well as myself.