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Not a good day

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Not a good day

Postby A_Corner_Of_The_Earth » Thu Mar 08, 2007 10:12 pm

Today was such a horrible stressful day. I made a bad investment decision and I've thrown a lot of money down the drain. I didn't consult with my partner about my decision even though that's his forte (he's a financial planner) and I don't know whether I should tell him of my stupidity. We don't have a joint bank account so it's not going to affect him financially, but it's just eating me up inside.

So what did I do, I left work early got home and had 6 slices of strawberry jam toast. While I was waiting for the bread to toast I spoke out to myself that I don't need this, this is not going to sort out the situation, it's not going to make me feel better and i'll feel much worse afterwards. But I ignored my self talk and just shoved the toast in my mouth. I ate it so quickly and because my stomach was in knots and I was anxious I couldn't hold it down and most of it came back up. I had a little cry because I felt like such a failure.

My beauty made dinner tonight spinach and low fat ricotta cannelloni with low fat cheese sprinkled on top and a salad. I didn't want to eat it because I felt guilty from my earlier binge and I wasn't hungry. But I did because he’s being really supportive and eating what I'm eating and when he cooks he too is making low fat, low kilojoule healthy foods. Now I feel like a pig because I've had a binge and I'm letting myself down.

Tomorrow I am going to continue and I'm not going to let this stop me. I just need to stop feeling guilty (and I’m scared that I’m not going to lose any weight this week), I know it’s about making gradual changes, small baby steps, but I’m feeling like such a failure.

Sorry for the long rant. I just need to get it out.
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Postby milkyway » Thu Mar 08, 2007 11:37 pm

ACTE - wow, what a horrible day you've had. I'm sorry to hear about your unfortunate financial decision that's gone so badly. I know I always feel so much better after I fess up -- whatever the consequence, it can't be as bad as carrying it around. Your honey sounds like a real sweetheart, very supportive and understanding. Do you think he would understand if you told him?

And only 6 slices of toast? Don't beat yourself up for it. It could've been a lot worse. The important thing is you get right back on that wagon. You might be surprised at how little impact it has on your weightloss this week.

You're not a failure. Think of all the good and positive things you've done so far. They far outweight one minor slip up.

Hope you feel better tomorrow.
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Postby Lolly » Fri Mar 09, 2007 6:27 am

ACOTE don't stress too much about what you DID, think more about WHY you did it iykwim.

I would tell your partner what has happened - I think you will find he is more supportive than you are giving him credit for in the emotional department and will understand.

Hang in there girl and DO NOT give up - we are here to keep you going - or at least everyone else will be - I am moving lol
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Fri Mar 09, 2007 7:30 am

good on u for confessing :) hugs

i think u should tell ur partner. he obviously sounds like a supportive guy and could possibly help retrieve some sort of money back or find a way to get some more money to replace it. you will feel heaps better about it. if u keep it inside it will rear its ugly head time and time again until u have eaten a whole loaf of toast!

never mind about the binge- these things happen in stressful situations and u tried to talk urself out of it instead of justifying it to urself as to why you SHOULD eat it.

let us know the outcome mate
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Postby A_Corner_Of_The_Earth » Fri Mar 09, 2007 8:51 am

Thanks for the support guys, it means a lot. You are all right! I am going to tell him otherwise it's just going to keep eating me up inside.

I am meeting my beauty for lunch today to tell him. I don't think he will be that angry with me, maybe for not discussing such a huge decision.

I will post an update when I get back from lunch.
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Postby KimE » Fri Mar 09, 2007 8:12 pm

A man who makes low fat ricotta canneloni with salad sounds like a gem. Tell him what has happened and more importantly how you feel about it and how you felt realising you hadn't talked to him. I hope all went well with that. He sounds like such a supportive bloke and we all get things wrong from time to time.

You are NOT a failure and your story hit me as I have had times where I have done things stupidly money wise and didn't know if I should tell my hubby. He was so awesome and somehow put himself in my shoes and understood what I had been going through. But in the meantime it was hell and I know the toast and jam (although for me it was peanut butter) scenario.

*hugs* Hope you are feeling better.
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Postby Ally » Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:18 am

Hey Jennifer, I think you should talk it over with him mate....dealing with our emotions is hard and particulary not knowing how our partners are going to react, but when we go and have a little 'session' with our fridge or pantry, we then have the added emotion of guilt to deal with. I am a big emotional eater, but have been finding that I have to hit things head on (pleasant or not) and it then becomes easier to deal with things. You don't need food to deal with your situations and the more you can do it, the easier it becomes......I hope things work out for you financially and that you can get back on your feet with it.....trust your partner more to talk things through with him...he sounds really supportive mate. Keep going mate, these things are sent to try us and you will get through it. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!! You have just hit a little blip in the grander scheme of things!!

By the way, that dish your other half made sounds delish....can you post the recipe??? :P
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sat Mar 10, 2007 1:00 pm

ey jennifer how did the confession go?
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Postby A_Corner_Of_The_Earth » Sat Mar 10, 2007 2:14 pm

Thanks for the support ladies.

So I told my beauty over lunch yesterday. It went better than I expected. I thought that he would be furious. He was upset, not about me losing all that money, but because I couldn't trust him enough to tell him in the first place, which I totally understand. In hindsight I should have told him months ago that I'd invested some of my savings and I should have asked for his opinion and advice. He said it was my mistake to learn and in future if I ever want to invest in high risk investments to consult with him first. He gave me a cuddle and told me to stop being a sook and that I'll have to work hard to save money again. We had a big long talk and I'm going to talk to him instead of anticipating what he is going to say and then decide not to tell him. We are in this together after all.

Ally- I asked beauty for the recipe and he said he got it of the back of the cannelloni box, and just changed the ingredients to low fat cheese.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sat Mar 10, 2007 8:31 pm

thats great to hear that things went well. i bet u feel heaps better now!
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Postby A_Corner_Of_The_Earth » Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:19 am

Kate, I do feel heaps better. The burden has been lifted off my shoulders. :D and I don't have to feel guilty anymore. What a relief.
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Postby KimE » Mon Mar 12, 2007 10:00 am

That's great Jennifer and glad you feel much better and guilt free.

I like how you call your man beauty, does he know that you do?
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Postby Ally » Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:45 am

I am glad that you feel better Jennifer!! It is always a weight off our shoulders when things like that are out the way as the weariness of our telling the other person and not knowing how they will react is never far from our minds......once it is done however, we then sit and think, well I should have done it earlier!! AARRGGHH!!!

Thanks for that about the recipe, will have to hunt it down!!
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Postby A_Corner_Of_The_Earth » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:13 pm

Kim he knows it, I address him as 'beauty' all the time. It kind of stuck, one day I said 'Hey beauty' and ever since I've been calling him beauty. He doesn't mind :D .

Ally that's exactly how I feel. Next time if I need to get something of my chest I'm just going to bite the bullet tell instead of turning to the strawberry jam toast haha :lol: .
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Postby Ally » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:21 pm

That's the way mate!!
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