Hi Pino I completely understand where you are coming from when you say about sabotaging your good efforts. It is an awful habit that takes a lot of time and patience to break. You think to yourself that you have done really well for a couple of days or weeks and you have lost this much so far so this won't hurt much then you have a monster binge feel incredibly depressed and wonder why you bother at all. The amount of times that I have gone through this is too many to count.
The reason you are feeling so sick today is because you had a sugar overload. When I first started to change my eating habits I made sure that I had diet jelly in cups in the fridge at all times so if I had the sweet craving at all I could have that instead and not do any damage. If you can don't have any of the "evil" foods in the house. I make sure when I do the shopping that there is nothing that I can binge on in the house and if I am that desperate then I have to get up and drive to the shops and when I stop and think about it I usually can't be bothered.
I am an "all or nothing" person in that I can not have just 1 tim tam or whatever I have a compulsion to eat the lot. Finally accepting this and ending my excuse phase has helped me alot to see the damage I was doing to myself.
If it helps you next time you feel like having a binge get onto the website as you will find someone else on at the same time and post how you are feeling. Within seconds you will get a response and this will help you deal with the situation as you are not alone. There are so many of us all going through a similar thing that we all want to help each other.
Hope this has helped you feel better.