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Major binge!

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Major binge!

Postby SarahC » Tue Jul 03, 2007 5:44 pm

This is embarassing... I had a major binge session on Sunday night. I do mean major, not just whinging here. I would have gobbled my way through at least 8000 - 9000 kJ (about 2000 cal) in the two hours following my dinner. I was planning on doing a bit of excercise in the evening, but I felt too ill and ended up going to bed. I then slept for a couple of hours, woke up, ate some more and was so sick and stressed out about it that I couldn't get back to sleep. It's Tuesday now and my body is still recovering :cry:

The thing is that this isn't the only time it's happened. It's been at least once, sometimes twice a week for the last few months, although not quite as bad (it'd be very hard indeed to top my last effort!!)

The only thing I can think of that could be causing it is the fact that I haven't heard from my friend (friend in inverted commas!) Othello in over two months now. I have passed it off as him just being really busy and not having time to write, but I think it has been weighing on my mind more than I realised. It was all I could think about while tossing and turning on Sunday night not being able to sleep.

The other thing is that I've been writing up my food plans on a spreadsheet so I can see my protein/fat/carb ratios etc. Maybe that level of analysis has been driving me batty as well!

So, I've decided to give the spreadsheets a rest for this week and also get in as much excercise as I possibly can. As for the other issue what can I do when someone is so far away and will not respond to any emails. I refuse to call or sms as that would look desperate :roll:

I am determined to be extra good this week, with no stuff ups! I'll post my food diary on here, and I won't eat anything apart from what's on it (another confession: I've been picking a fair bit after dinner and have not included any of those extras in my diary. They all add up!!). This is going to be very hard and I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to do it.... but saying it on here is a good start :wink:

Sorry this post is so long :oops:
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Tue Jul 03, 2007 5:50 pm

oh my god sarah i am hearing you mate! vent as much you like it really does help. i think a couple of us are having probs in the personal life department at the moment which is taking its toll on our healthy living.

i think its a great idea baout giving the spreadsheets a rest because at least that is one less thing you have to worry about. the food diary is a good idea and i have started one today myself and i have never done a food diary on here before.

chin up mate we will get through this together! you looking forward to the new gym? i cant wait to hear all about it
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Postby Chelle » Tue Jul 03, 2007 9:46 pm

Don't stress to much about the spreadsheets Sarah, it's a good idea to have a break for a while. I think your "friend" might not feel the same way, as you feel about him. Don't worry to much about it, if he is not bothered to contact you, it's just a male thing or is he worth the trouble?? If it's affecting your life with sleep & things. Mabe give that one a weeks rest to, then contact him when your on top of things. Take it easy sarah just focus on your food diary & exercise & you'll be right...
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Postby SarahC » Thu Jul 05, 2007 11:42 am

Thanks Kate and Chelle :)

Dunno what's up with this male thing lol. I figure if he cannot find a couple of minutes to write a quick email, then I certainly cannot find 3 or 4 weeks and $2000+ to go over there :shock: (nasty one aren't I?)

Looking forward to a change of scenery at the gym. I'm just going to miss being able to watch Sunrise while I'm getting ready for work. The gym I'm at now has TV's in the change rooms!
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Jul 05, 2007 12:22 pm

good idea about the tvs in the changeroom and i wouldnt pay that money to go overseas either especially if you dont know whats happening!
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Postby Dee » Thu Jul 05, 2007 12:27 pm

Sarah, that's not nasty at all, it's simply practical. I'll bet there are a million other things you could spend that $2000 on for YOU.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Whether this guy is making an effort or not is no reflection on you, don't let HIS insensitivity control YOUR life.
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Postby milkyway » Fri Jul 06, 2007 1:41 pm

I agree with Dee, Sarah. I don't think you're being nasty at all. He is not giving you any signs at all that he's worth spending that time and money on. I'm going to be straight up and honest with you and I really hope I don't cause any offence.

Two months of no contact, regardless of how busy he is or any other excuse you can come up with, sends a big signal that you might not be willing to hear and I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh... but he's just not that into you. I think you should put him behind and move on.

I really hope that what you're doing at the moment in terms of exercise and fat reduction goals is for you and not Othello, or some thoughts that everything would be perfect if you'd just reduce your bodyfat %. Please feel free to correct me, of course. I'm worried about you sista!
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
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Postby SarahC » Sun Jul 08, 2007 11:29 am

I'm definitely wanting to do it for myself. My main thing at the moment is trying to get rid of my horrible eating habits, and to be able to eat like a "normal" person... ie, not continually thinking about (and hence eating) food! I can't even imagine what that would be like. Ultimate freedom :D

It is not unusual for Othello to not contact me for long lengths of time. I met him four years ago and it's been the same all along. But after the developments that happened last time I saw him I guess I was expecting a little more... not an unreasonable expectation :(

I'm kinda past using the "he's the chief officer on the QE2" and "he must be so busy" excuses :cry:

Who cares about cold old rainy England... I'm off to Hawaii.... or somewhere warm!! (god it's cold!)
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Postby milkyway » Sun Jul 08, 2007 11:34 am

Good for you Sarah :) Thanks for putting my mind at ease.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sun Jul 08, 2007 12:01 pm

oh hawaii would be fab sarah! go on!
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Postby SarahC » Wed Jul 11, 2007 11:02 am

I might just! It helps thinking of all the other exotic places I could be going besides England.... I'd be by myself, but who cares! More adventure that way :wink:

I've been thinking (dangerous, I know). This is what I have been thinking. I'm putting it in here to save creating a whole new thread....

Please don't read this if you are short on time!! (It's going to be long...)

My overeating is costing me my health and preventing me from reaching my goals

Ok, so my health is suffering. First, my mental health. My overeating causes massive stress and worry after the event. This causes stress related symptoms, like massive tiredness and headaches, and distracts from my job when I'm worrying about food instead of doing my work. Stress also leads to further weight gain due to the hormonal impacts and by creating further urges to overeat.

It also impacts on my self-esteem. I feel bad about myself when I overeat and even worse about myself when I start to see the results on my body. This makes it hard to function like a normal human being as all I want to do is crawl under a rock and hide, not get on with my life!

Then, my physical health. This is a bit more obvious. My body was not designed to process such large quantities of food all at once! I feel sick and washed out the next day, making it very hard to sit upright at my desk all day, let alone achieve anything useful. I also tend to dose up on laxatives to get rid of the large amount of food as quickly as possible. I just want it out! This will cause long-term damage to my bowels (even worse since there is a family history of bowel troubles, particularly my grandmother and her mother, my late great grandmother). I also tend to compensate with extra excercise... and extreme amount of excercise. This takes up a lot of time, time that I could spend doing other things, like having a life! I'm also stressing my body out and could be causing injuries to myself if I overtrain.

Ok next. My overeating is preventing me from achieving my goals. I should probably say what that is first. My goal is to have a fat-free body (body fat around the 10-12% mark) and eventually one day participate in figure competitions. That's the goal that I put into my future (during the Breakthrough to Success seminar, god that was good!). The reason this is important to me is that it means that I will finally be free of my obsession with food (do you know of any figure competitors who habitually overeat? I don't!). I will be hugely confident and that will flow through into all other areas of my life, particularly my career and relationships.

So, overeating is moving me away from my goal not towards it. Also, the tiredness and the sickness that it creates makes it hard to get a good workout. I can lose up to 10 minutes of workout time just by having to make trips to the toilet! Plus I don't have the energy to lift heavy weights or do intense cardio...

So, I'll say it again

My overeating is costing me my health and preventing me from reaching my goals

I have all the knowledge and tools at my disposal to make my dreams happen. But knowledge is useless without action. So, action begins today! I have three goals to aim towards every day with my eating. I will achieve all of them every day... to the best of my ability. And I will seek to discover the causes of my overeating and do something about it.... even if that means finally biting the bullet and going to OA meetings. Can't wait for the next Breakthrough to Success seminar next month, I think I will have a lot of new stuff to work on!!

Sorry for the loooonnnnggg post :roll:
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Wed Jul 11, 2007 12:26 pm

no dont apologise sarah it was a good read. i am glad you are taking steps to help yourself with your eating :)
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Postby milkyway » Wed Jul 11, 2007 2:33 pm

Hi Sarah - it was good for me to read that post because I feel now that I really understand where you're coming from. It's really made me understand you a lot more. I had no idea you wanted to compete in figure competitions :) That's fantastic! You'll get there, mate :D
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Wed Jul 11, 2007 4:23 pm

Thanks for sharing sarah :)
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Postby madeline » Thu Jul 12, 2007 10:50 pm

Yeah I had a minor binge today... it happened because i was already over my kjs for today and I just didn't care anymore. I know it's bad but I thought I should post it anyway.

2 medium bowls of nacho cheese flavoured doritos.
Small glass of orange juice

It might not seem like that much, but I have been really good with my eating recently and I'm quite upset with myself for succombing to a craving :(
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