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My binge for today

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My binge for today

Postby Playboy_bunny » Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:38 pm

Hi everyone,
I mentioned in Ally's confessional post about my binge eating...its getting worse. Usually it will start at abot 3pm or after dinner. I will eat masses of food...literally masses of food...today, I dont know what went wrong...when Im bingeing I barely even remember what I have eaten....anyway, the reason I wanted to post here is to REALLY admit to everyone (and myself) that I have a problem...This is what I ate today (to the best of my memory, and within the last hour)
minestrone cuppa soup
apple
salad sandwich
bag cheezles (were my dads, he left them here)
all the leftover ice cream in the freezer (about 1/4 of a tub)
3 'nice' biscuits
about 3 tbs sultanas
2 pieces bread with thickly spread lite peanut butter
about 30 of my sons pizza shapes
Huge Milo & milk (Id say about 8 tbs worth)
bowl of nutigrain with milk and 1 tbs sultanas
Did I enjoy any of it? No, I hate it! I feel sick, my belly hurts and I feel like such a loser... I didnt even want any of the food! Im trying to work out what brought it on, and I can come up with this-
My little boy is going through a 'Im the boss' stage and wont listen to me or do anything I ask....talking back, misbehaving, kicking, punching, swearing, etc (normal for a 4 year old I think :roll: or so they told me when I mentioned the change at childcare ) Im bored out of my brain in this house, (just the 2 of us) and Im tired... i just want to go to bed!
I think it all comes down to me being stressed out (about my lil boy atm, and recently the death of a friend) bored and with all this bl*ody temptation everywhere staring me in the face I have asked ppl not to bring cr*p into the house, but they do anyway and say Im being selfish! :shock: Im bored and Im lonely and I really dont know what to do about it...my best friend has just moved interstate, the other works constantly, so i never see her either... I need to find a hobby or something, cos Im at that place where u put everything you have into your kids and your home....I clean and cook and do for him...Ive completely lost me, and I dont even know what I like doing anymore! I dont have any hobbies or anything...UGH
Sorry, but I just wanted to say how I felt...(cr*p!) I think tomorrow I am going to give the optifast a go, and just skip all the food stuff and see how I go? God, I wish i could just be normal, and that I didnt have to deal with this! Im also going to start a binge ticker too and see how i go... Thanks for listening everyone :)
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:40 pm

I also want to add that since starting on this forum 6 weeks ago, (and continuing to binge) my weight has gone from 112 kgs to 117kgs this morning :cry:
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:50 pm

hey gracie

i am really sorry to read that you have been having some tough times. :( i can relate and i admitted it all in my secret confession. i find it hard being at home too with a little one. i cook and clean and look after heidi and even though i love it, it is really bad if you are trying to make healthy decisions. today mick took heidi for most of the day out and about so i was glad to have some time to myself. us mums dont get it very often. sometimes i wonder how working mums do it because it must be very hard. the behaviour you described is quite normal for a child of that age. i would ask the child care for some tips on time outs and maybe have them help you work out a behaviour change plan.

never mind that you have had a gain whilst you have been here- i have too! you offer great support to people :) perhaps you need to make a list of rewards for yourself. take it a kilo at a time. i know beign a sngle mum is hard when it comes to finances but you need to reward yourself for your efforts gracie.

keep smiling we are always here if you need a chat and im proud of you for fessing up. its hard and embarrassing but this is probably the only place on earth where you know you wont be judged for it as we understand :)
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Postby SarahC » Sun Jul 08, 2007 5:33 pm

Sorry to hear that Gracie. I understand the bored and lonely thing though. All my friends are busy having babies etc, I don't see my ex-boyfriend anymore, and my other friend who lives nearby has recently taken up dancing classes, which he goes to every Thurs - Sat night!

Taking up a hobby sounds like a great idea! Is there anything that you enjoy doing, or some local groups that you could join? Or volunteer work?
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:36 pm

Thanks for the support and understanding you guys :)
Yeah sarah I think I might look into some volunteer work in our local area... Im fairly new around here so Im not really sure what's available...might have a look tomorrow :) Thanks again xx
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Postby Ally » Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:32 pm

Hey Gracie.....If it helps you to know I have gained weight since starting here too!!

You certainly have a lot to contend with at the moment that is for sure....you have identified a lot of potential triggers there....it is no wonder you are heading for the bikkie tin...

did I read right that you have asked people to not bring crap to the house but they tell you that you re being selfish?? My gosh tell them to take a flying leap hun.....it is YOUR house and you have every right to say what goes in and out of it.....it doesn't matter whether they are friends or family they are being extremely rude and inconsiderate of your feelings....your little boy doesn't need all that crap in the house either!!!! If they insist on bringing throw it in the bin while they are they...the outside bin! break it open and throw it away so that you are not tempted to get it out later.....drastic yes, but if they are not listening to you, then you need to get it through to them some other way....the last thing you need is tempting foods in front of you when you have so much to deal with...stay strong mate and don't let people walk over you this is your health you are dealing with, not theirs....sorry for the rant, but it made me quite annoyed that people could treat you that way :evil: (yes I am going to the Cranky Corner now :x )
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:41 pm

LOL thanks Ally :)
I purposely dont buy junk for myself or my little boy, but have visitors (particularly my mum) who bring chocolate and chips and stuff over for connor even though I ask her not to...they have said that I am being selfish and why should my little boy miss out just because I am on a diet! I make the point that it is because of all the junk I ate as a kid (and an adult!) that I have a weight problem in the first place...I dont think its him 'missing out' just about being healthy! :evil: But I think i will do what you say Ally and bin it from now on!
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Postby Ally » Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:43 pm

hehe yeah that is what I thought...don't you love it when they use the child as an excuse!!! AARRGGHHHH!! Exactly that point...that is how I used to eat as a child and looked what happened to me!! Frustrating!!! :roll: :roll: crap there I go again!!! *walks off to corner AGAIN*
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:47 pm

hahahahaha :lol:
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:55 pm

yeah my family are always buying heidi cakes and chocolates and bikkies. ive said a couple of times 'just one' or 'no more after that' and they listen- my mum is hard to get across to though she is the worst!
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Postby Ally » Mon Jul 09, 2007 1:04 pm

mothers generally are Kate....mine is shocking when it come to food.... :x
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Postby sassi » Mon Jul 09, 2007 1:06 pm

yeah - my mum eats next to nothing & tries to feed me & my boyfriend heaps of food when we go over on a sunday. he loves it! but i do not need to have a slice of chocolate cake and then be offered ice cream :?
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Postby molligrub » Mon Jul 09, 2007 10:03 pm

Hey Grace, just keep trying. I reckon that sometimes things get a lot worse before they get better - I know that's what happened to me - my bingeing just kind of kept escalating up until 8 days ago, and that's when I came across this forum and joined up. But if I hadn't joined and been getting all this support, I reckon I would still be bingeing every one or two days.

It must be especially hard for you to deal with all this weightloss stuff when you have so many other stresses going on, but YOU CAN DO IT!! Just the fact that you are still posting on the forum means you haven't given up!

For me every day is a struggle not to binge - I just feel like I'm missing out all the time, even though I can remember clearly the horrible bloated feeling I'd get afterward. So I can really sympathize. I reckon bingeing must be the most miserable part of dieting.

Anyway, chin up and keep fighting! You'll get there in the end, and you and your little fella will be a lot healthier and stronger for it.

C Ya, Molli.
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