I mentioned in Ally's confessional post about my binge eating...its getting worse. Usually it will start at abot 3pm or after dinner. I will eat masses of food...literally masses of food...today, I dont know what went wrong...when Im bingeing I barely even remember what I have eaten....anyway, the reason I wanted to post here is to REALLY admit to everyone (and myself) that I have a problem...This is what I ate today (to the best of my memory, and within the last hour)
minestrone cuppa soup
bag cheezles (were my dads, he left them here)
all the leftover ice cream in the freezer (about 1/4 of a tub)
3 'nice' biscuits
about 3 tbs sultanas
2 pieces bread with thickly spread lite peanut butter
about 30 of my sons pizza shapes
Huge Milo & milk (Id say about 8 tbs worth)
bowl of nutigrain with milk and 1 tbs sultanas
Did I enjoy any of it? No, I hate it! I feel sick, my belly hurts and I feel like such a loser... I didnt even want any of the food! Im trying to work out what brought it on, and I can come up with this-
My little boy is going through a 'Im the boss' stage and wont listen to me or do anything I ask....talking back, misbehaving, kicking, punching, swearing, etc (normal for a 4 year old I think
or so they told me when I mentioned the change at childcare ) Im bored out of my brain in this house, (just the 2 of us) and Im tired... i just want to go to bed!
I think it all comes down to me being stressed out (about my lil boy atm, and recently the death of a friend) bored and with all this bl*ody temptation everywhere staring me in the face I have asked ppl not to bring cr*p into the house, but they do anyway and say Im being selfish!
Im bored and Im lonely and I really dont know what to do about it...my best friend has just moved interstate, the other works constantly, so i never see her either... I need to find a hobby or something, cos Im at that place where u put everything you have into your kids and your home....I clean and cook and do for him...Ive completely lost me, and I dont even know what I like doing anymore! I dont have any hobbies or anything...UGH
Sorry, but I just wanted to say how I felt...(cr*p!) I think tomorrow I am going to give the optifast a go, and just skip all the food stuff and see how I go? God, I wish i could just be normal, and that I didnt have to deal with this! Im also going to start a binge ticker too and see how i go... Thanks for listening everyone