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I NEED TO STOP THIS!!!!!

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I NEED TO STOP THIS!!!!!

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:19 pm

Still having issues people.

Monday I had 2pks chips, and 5 chocolate bars at work.
Tuesday I had 3 biscuits
Today I've had a piece of cheese cake.

On top of that I've just been eating non stop. i didn't weigh this weekend and am just getting that mindset of "why bother" all the time. I have something bad and then think "oh, well, screw it, I'll just eat what I want and write this day off" which is all well and good but it's starting to be every damn day.

Really getting worried as I'm starting to see my tummy come back.
If anyone has any ideas as to how to pull myself back on track it would be good. i think my issue is that I'm still not happy at uni and I eat as distraction and as comfort. There's also the general "why bother' attitude to everything.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby grugwashere » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:43 pm

good on you for confessing... i must admit i do the "screw it, ive stuffed up i will just eat what i want" thing more than i would like to admit...
it sucks that you arent having a good time at uni:(

just think about how far you have come, you have done such a good job with your weightloss!
SW:91kg
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Postby Chelle » Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:17 pm

You need to work out what is triggering you to eat like this. You have lost over 35KG, congrat's you have come so far. We all at some point think like that screw it I will just eat it then you feel guilty afterward's. Really look at what you have lost & you need look at that you dont want to gain it back on because you are only going to hate yourself in the long run. Take some time out do somthing out of the blue that you wouldn't nornally do & regain that motivation that made you loss 35Kg. Find somthing to motivate yourself to get yourself back on track again.
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Wed Aug 01, 2007 4:25 pm

I'm pretty sure what started it was going back to uni. My attitude is not just affecting eating, I'm also being a total slack ass with uni work. I'm just avoiding the issue that i don't like being here, and part of that is eating.

I'm trying to change my attitude to "well, let's just get in there and get it over with then", but it's hard and the eating stuff is a bad side effect.

the only person who can fix it is me, but I'm just finding it hard to get a handhold on the problem at the moment.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby zeedeveelgirl » Wed Aug 01, 2007 11:01 pm

Aw Tegan :( I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling good about your weight loss... I guess you just have to think - if I put that 35kg back on, how long is it going to take me to lose again and how disgusting am I going to feel!?
Hang in there chick, we all lose sight of why we're doing things sometimes. And Winter doesn't help for motivation!!!
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Postby madeline » Wed Aug 01, 2007 11:20 pm

Keep lots of healthy snacks around, eat them first... then see if you still want the chocolate. Sultanas will satify a sweet craving, and you can eat a sh-load and it will still be better than chips. Carrot/celery sticks, cruskits (mmm buttery) or cans of tuna will help with savoury cravings.

Also drink water! If you have a bottle in your mouth, you can't put food in, so keep sipping :D
"Ððñ'† µ wï§h ¥ðµr gïrl£rïêñÐ wå§ hð† lïkê mê, Ððñ'† ¥å ßåߥ ;)"
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Postby SarahC » Thu Aug 02, 2007 9:41 am

Sorry to hear that Tegan :( I think getting all the tempting foods out of your house is a good start, and also empty your purse of cash (well as far as possible!) so you are not able to purchase any junk foods while you are out.

I'm having a go of the "Mastering Food" program that Maree suggested. It is kind of helpful. Think it was in the emotional eating section of the forum...

Are there any counsellors at uni you could chat to? At Melbourne Uni they had counsellors/psycologists that you could go to for free. I went to those a couple of times while I was studying - I hated my course and was struggling to continue...

Hope things improve for you soon :)
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Postby milkyway » Thu Aug 02, 2007 11:16 am

Hi Teagan - so sorry to hear that you're having a rough trot at the moment :(

It never ceases to amaze me how intertwined all aspects of our lives are - it sounds like your 'spirit' has taken a real battering through uni and that in turn is impacting on your confidence and your overall motivation for life... and weightloss. If your eating and approach to food at the moment is as you've said, linked to your studies and not wanting to be there, then that's the root of the problem. You can either tackle the root of the problem, or address your response to the problem. Jeepers, I hope that makes sense!?!

I second what sarah suggested above about the "Mastering Food" program. I'll see if I can dig out the post Maree made. I found it to be one of those light bulb moments :idea:

And don't forget for one second just how far you've come. 35 Kilos! You're amazing. Look at what you do now on a daily basis - all that riding. You don't want to go back to your old self. Think of this as a great opportunity to tackle your emotional relationship with food and in the future, whatever cr*p life throws at you, you'll be able handle it and not have to worry about your weight ever again.

Good luck, Teagan. I know you can do this :)
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
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Postby milkyway » Thu Aug 02, 2007 11:24 am

Here's the post that Maree made that I was waffling on about before...

http://www.weightloss.com.au/forum/view ... ght=#71021
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
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SW: 74.3kg - 1/1/09
CW: 71.1kg - 3/5/09
GW 62kg
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Postby yummymummy » Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:48 pm

AGH you poor thing- dealing with WHY you are feeling like this, whats happening at uni thats getting you down? is it the workload? do you need some extra helpto pull thru? or just over it all at the mo? my friend was a final year psyc student and struggled because the workload was very very hard and boring(in her words) so she dropped some units and finished it parttime. As for the over eating get backto basics and do what you did when youfirst decided to lose weight, maybe write out a food diary for a while to get back into the swing of things
You know you can do it because youve done it before
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Thu Aug 02, 2007 1:26 pm

thanks for the thought everyone and the advice.

What I have decided to do is this (concocted on my ride home last night)

I have a habit of, when I feel I can't do something, I freeze. I don't ask for help cause that would be admitting weakness, and I have to be perfect. But I can't do anything cause I might get it wrong (you can see the catch 22 here right?). Basically, the motto is "deny and defend". I make excuses and avoid the situation. This is particularly so for Uni because being "smart" was always my fallback position- not pretty, not slim, not funny, but hell was I smart!

So, being at work is good. I'm good at it, but not so good that I feel the need to be perfect all the time (my manager has still pointed out that i am too hard on my mistakes though).

Being at Uni, bad. Complex thesis, an absentee supervisor, very competitive socially. Very much not an encouragement to face problems for me. The net effect is I freeze on my uni work and distract myself with eating. The attitude of "I suck" that comes with realising that I'm stuck not being able to do anything pervades everything and I get the "why bothers" in my eating too. So I eat even more. I will eat my healthy snacks and then double pig out on choc. I will stuff myself even when i don't feel like eating, know that I am doing it and say "so what".

So my battle plan:

Change my life motto to "don't fret it, fix it". The way this works in practice is: I recognise the issues I am facing and take them on. I will actually do the work in front of me and ask for help if/when I need it so I can get it done. The aim being to get it done asap so I can finish my degree and move on and out of here.


SOOOOOO
I have a plan that I come to uni

9:00 - start work
10:30 - 10 min break
10:40 - work
12:30 - 1hr lunch break
2:00 - 10 min break
2:10 - work
4:00 - home time (but can stay later or do work at home)

yes?? no?? suggestions?? thoughts??
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Location: Hobart, Tas

Postby yummymummy » Thu Aug 02, 2007 3:49 pm

sounds good! treating the problem and not the symptoms. Maybe when you have your work breaks do some gentle exercise, like go for a walk around campus, to clear the head and feel refreshed.

and

Ive seen your pictures you very pretty (before and after weight loss)and you should feel pretty dont be so hard on yourself!
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Postby sassi » Thu Aug 02, 2007 4:08 pm

hi teagan

sorry to hear things have been ick lately. it sounds like you have come up with a good structure for your day. are you doing your PhD? i can imagine with a PhD or research then it would be very hard to stay motivated as the structure of your day is up to you.

it must also be difficult not having a supervisor - but it sounds like this is something largely out of your control so for something like that you need a coping mechanism that isn't food.

do you eat while at your desk or do you eat away from it? it would be great if there was somewhere else you could eat and that you only eat snacks at appointed times.

failing that, do what i do & jump on here and read & post till i don't feel like eating the bad stuff anymore!

it's really easy to write a day off once you feel you've slipped up but try not to let it get to you...it's always still worth bothering because a lot of the time you can either adjust your eating for the rest of the day or put in some extra exercise to help.

i also wanted to echo what other people have said - you've come so far and you know that while you can do it - it's not something you'd want to have to do again. you are a gorgeous girl no matter what your weight is - i know what you've achieved has inspired me and i'm sure i'm not the only one.

you can definitely stick it out and achieve whatever you put your mind to.

:D
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sat Aug 04, 2007 9:19 am

sassi wrote: i know what you've achieved has inspired me and i'm sure i'm not the only one.


Thanks for that Sassi,
like too many people I seem to do things for others easier than for myself so that was a good motivator - other people are depending on me (at least in my brain anyway) :roll:

I think I am on the way out the other side. Yesterday I DIDN'T have a bowl of muesli even though I wanted it (but wasn't hungry) and this morning, I have only had a bowl of cereal for breakfast. This may not seem much, but recently I wouldn't have managed either, I would have just stuffed my face. I have also discovered that the heating at uni dehydrates me, which I have been possibly interpreting as needing to eat. So I will definitely be getting out the super sized water bottle. Uni is still a poo though but my attitude is slowly being forced to change :D - it's just hard when all of the people around you are doing courses that you aren't and leave you out of things like birthday celebrations and such . :(
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Location: Hobart, Tas

Postby Ses » Sat Aug 04, 2007 12:35 pm

I have been a student all my life, juggling work, Uni and home. I am the queen of PROCRASTINATION.

Right now I have sat down to work on a presentation for next week, and try to catch up on some of the last 6 moths of study. So I am catching up with the forum..........

Your list is great, but I find I need to be more specific and less hard on myself if I am in a real slump. I "block in" specific tasks - like 12-2 work on presentation, 2-3 treadmill, 3-5 study weeks 2 and 3. I then break the study times up as necessary. If I am on a roll and concentrating I keep going to the designated break. If I am struggling I set 20 min blocks where I sit and work, and then have a 5-10 minute break where I do something (walk around the yard, hang out laundry etc....).

SO according to the above I have another 25 minutes of procrastination time before getting stuck in .... I think I will put on a load of laundry ready for the 1st break.......
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