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me again

Postby Playboy_bunny » Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:51 pm

Hi everyone...even though i havent been posting here about it, I have been binge eating again, every single day...I just thought I would post todays binge anyway to get it off my chest....I just feel so awful today...all day I have felt stressed out and on the verge of tears, and I just feel disgusted being me, fat, ugly, my clothes are awful, my body is revolting....Ive binged every single day/afternoon/night for weeks now, I have just been hiding it from you all...which I know is silly as you are all so supportive but I just feel really pathetic writing it here AGAIN. God I need help...Im the fattest I have ever been, and it terrifies me how fast I gain the weight...if I continue on as I have been I will be 200 kgs by the time Im 25 (Ive gained 25 kgs through binges since april) Its so hard I am seeing the psychologist again in about 3 1/2 weeks...Ive already been on the phone with him today and he STRONGLY recommends that I retry optifast so that food is COMPLETELY avoided...and I can concentrate on other things...Im pretty sure thats what Im going to do, even though I had a bad time with them last time, nothing can be worse than how I feel after a binge.....its nothing in comparison...*sigh* anyway, here is todays binge, Ill be back later and Ill let you know if I will be beginning opti tomorrow (pretty sure I will) luv to u all!
Just the binge, no meals-
2 apples, about 30 water crackers with salsa, 5 pieces of toast slathered in LOTS of butter and vegemite, 2 milos, 6 'nice' biscuits, about 5 handfuls of sultanas, 1.25 ltr bottle diet coke, cuppa soup, 3 icy poles, bowl of leftover rice with cheese, whole tub yoghurt, whole bag clinkers...although that sounds like a lot its less than I would usually have in one go...*sigh* talk soon luvlies xx
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:05 pm

hey gracie

i sooo wish you lived closer and we could go through this together. i hate to think you are on your own down there without a good friend nearby. i just figured you were absent from the group because you and connor were just gettting over the gastro thing.

im glad you are speaking to the professional dude about it all, and perhaps trying opti again will help for the short term. just make sure you are monitored on it because i really worry about you after last time.

seriously to me when you said binge i expected to see more, most of those things were healthy!

dont feel so down gracie you know im always here. i have you on my msn but you never sign in girl! LOL

xxoxoxo
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Postby lng86 » Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:33 pm

Where do you live? In Sydney? If so... I think you need a friend - we should meet up.
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Postby vanessa0305 » Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:43 pm

HI Gracie,

I hope you know we would never judge you!! Even now I still binge, I haven't figured out why? or how to stop myself! So I now only keep healthy foods in the house so thats all there is to binge on.

When I went through a rough patch at about 85.5kgs (about 1/2 way through my journey) I used the Success program to get through. I think optislim is similar but even more controlled. Thats what I needed at the time. I need the control taken out of my hands and it worked and I got back on track. Maybe it would help for you too.....I only used it for about 8 weeks. By then I had control again.....If I ever feel completely out of control again I would put myself back on the program.
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Postby HappyBella55 » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:31 pm

Gracie,

I'm new on the forum but I too have a binge eating problem. The previous week was a shocker for me and I binged and binged night after night and gained 2kgs in a week :shock:.

It's really tough to stop the binge cycle. Anything triggers it for me. Because I also suffer from depression it doesn't help. I'm sure your psychologist is helping you pin point your triggers.

Don't be ashamed, you are facing up to the fact that you have a problem and are trying to tackle it. Today I bought a journal to write down the why, when and what triggers me to binge eat.

Maybe you can start your own personal journal and every time you binge right down exactly what you binged on, how you were feeling and maybe you'll start to see a pattern, and then can work on it with your doc on how to cope with these issues.

I've never heard of optifast but if you have strong recommendations to go on it maybe you should. I read that it takes 21 days for a habit to form so maybe if you just use optifast for 21 days so it can break your binging cycle it might be worthwhile.

I wish I could give you a hug. If you ever want to chat you can alway PM me.

I struggle everyday with food and it's a constant battle for me not to go away and hide from my feelings and go and binge instead to comfort and sooth myself.

It's hard work chicki but you are acknowledging it so that's the biggest hurdle out of the way.
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Postby Fireball » Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:45 am

Hey Gracie

I know exactly what you're talking about. Since being on this forum I have reached my highest weight ever too. Not that this forum is at fault, it's the direction I've been heading all along. People here are so supportive but I did the same as you and I dropped off for a while. You feel like letting your self down and everyone else. Finally my balance seems to have returned so hopefully you will have the same happen for you soon. This forum has helped me to learn more about what my issues actually are and analyse them so in the long run it will pay divideneds. Maybe this is the case for you too? This stuff is challenging to deal with so it's not surprising that we fall off the wagon some times. Keep it up Gracie I'm sure you will reach your goals.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:40 am

how are you feeling today gracie?
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Postby madeline » Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:45 am

*hugs* what I love about you Gracie is how you never give up. Although you posted your binge, you're making changes, you're trying to get help, you're not just accepting this is the way things are. I think you're incredibly brave. Keep posting here, and we'll support you all the way xx
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Sat Sep 15, 2007 11:47 am

Hi everyone :)
Thanks so much for the support (again! lol) I had a few more crappy days after I posted this topic, and felt like a phoney to come on here, but I know that it is with the help of this forum (and all of you) that I will get to where I want to be, mentally and physically, so Im going to really make an effort to check in everyday and catch up with you all regardless :) I saw the psychologist, have had a good session with him, and I have decided to do optifast, just for a little while anyway....starting today actually ;) but with very close monitoring from my gp and the psychologist....Thankyou for everyone's kind words, you are all incredible :D xxxxxxxxx
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sat Sep 15, 2007 5:51 pm

yay gracie its great to see you posting around the forum again :) you make me smile. keep us updated :)
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Postby help6363 » Sun Sep 16, 2007 3:10 am

Playboy_bunny wrote:Hi everyone :)
Thanks so much for the support (again! lol) I had a few more crappy days after I posted this topic, and felt like a phoney to come on here, but I know that it is with the help of this forum (and all of you) that I will get to where I want to be, mentally and physically, so Im going to really make an effort to check in everyday and catch up with you all regardless :) I saw the psychologist, have had a good session with him, and I have decided to do optifast, just for a little while anyway....starting today actually ;) but with very close monitoring from my gp and the psychologist....Thankyou for everyone's kind words, you are all incredible :D xxxxxxxxx


Hello

I know you can do this!

Sorry to hear you are going through a hard time.

Hope you are doing okay.

BIG HUGS!!!! :D
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:37 am

Thanks help :D
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Postby sassi » Sun Sep 16, 2007 11:04 am

hi gracie

i've definitely missed reading your posts lately so i hope you're back for good!

i hope things are a bit better & good luck with the optifast - i hope it treats you more kindly this time :)
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