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Emotional Eating.

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Emotional Eating.

Postby carlton » Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:12 pm

Well things haven't been going all that well with my relationship with my bf over the past few days. Despite everything that I have learn't over the past few weeks I still continue to emotionally eat.

I was that upset Saturday nite I went to the supermarket and bought a 1 litre of the new Weis ice cream and just had to eat it all in one sitting.

It gets worse on Sunday nite I went back to the supermarket and bought another 1 litre of the Weis ice cream and another 1 litre of diet chocolate ice cream. Needless to say that 1/2 the 2nd Weis tub was eaten on Sunday night and the rest of both tubs were eaten last night.

I know that I shouldn't buy it or eat it and its not going to get me to my goal but I'm not strong enough to stop myself. I'm glad that its all gone now and I AM NOT GOING TO BUY ANY MORE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

The only good thing is that it was all low fat. I have exercised a lot this week and otherwise eaten well. I'm hoping its not going to do too much damage.

Normally I would beat my self up over this overeating. This time I'm not . As I was eating the increase I kept saying to myself:-

1. that I shouldn't be doing this
2. its not going to get me to my goal.
3. Why punish my body this way
4. This is not the answer

I so wanted to go for a walk last night instead of eating the ice cream but it was raining in Sydney and hasn't really stop since about 6 p.m. yesterday.

My bf and I are talking and have had a few small conversation since everything hit the fan on Saturday arvo but I would love to talk to him face to face, and in detail about it. The main problem is that he's not ready to do that and needs some space. He keeps telling me its not about us its about some things he needs to sort out from his childhood. I guess i just have to be patient, give him a little space and be there for him when he needs me. The good thing is that he is seeking professional help with these issues. It also doesn't help that we are geographically separated at the moment as well.

I can also admit that normally when things hit the fan in our relationship, I am a little stressed about our relationship. This time I am calm and no that we will get through these things.

I am trying to focus at the moment on exercising and getting to 95 kilos.
I want to look so much healthier next time I see him.

Postby Dolly » Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:58 pm

Oh Carlton, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all this.
It sounds to me that you could be basing your happiness on his choices, leaving it all up to him and what he does as to whether you are going to be happy or not.
Let the man in your life be the persuer trying to please you.
Emotionally I'd try to pretend he's not coming back, the pain of a breakup lasts several months but you deserve someone that wants to be with you and caters to your emotional happiness.
I once heard that a person is capable of falling in love deeply 6 times in their lifetime, your man could be divorcing his wife as we speak.

Of course this is just my own opinion and I could be totally off the mark but I feel you need a week (or even a weekend) away with a good friend, to focus your thoughts on anything but him (that includes no phone calls or messages).

big hugs
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:27 pm

It's hard when stuff like that happens. I hope everything turns out well for you, whether he comes back or not, I'm sure you are more than capable of starting over again. In the mean time, try to remember that slip ups happen, you've just got to say, "oh well, the past is history, I can't change what I've done, only what i am going to do" and then get right back on that metaphorical horse
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby carlton » Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:27 pm

Dolly, thanks for your comments.

My bf and I do want to be together. I have spoken with him regarding this during the past few days. However for our relationship to move forward he needs to sort a sort a few things from his past out/childhood via counselling.

Whilst I don't want to go into specific details, we are also geographically separated at the moment due to a stupid drunken mistake he has made.

Whilst I am not happy about the issues he has, or the way he went about telling me and what mistakes he has made I am prepared to support him and give him the space he needs so we can grow as people and have a better relationship.

My life hasn't been a bundle of joy the past few years either. 2 years ago, my dad got diagnosed with cancer (now in remission), this time last year my mum got diagnosed with breast cancer and suddenly lost her batter last October. I have also been diagnosed with depression. My bf has supported me through all of this and with my consant battle with depression, I'm not easy to be around either.

My bf is already divorced, happend a few years ago.

Postby linda » Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:37 pm

I have to agree with you Dolly. I think a life with this man would be one "emotional rollercoaster ride". I think you need to concentrate on building your own self esteem and what is good for YOU!

Postby Dolly » Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:00 pm

Whatever you choose to do Carlton, I wish you well.
You are one in a million and your boyfriend is very lucky he has someone so compassionate and forgiving.

If you ever need to talk we'll be here to listen, as emotions are all tied in with how we let loose and eat.
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its only my opinion....

Postby frumpy07 » Sat Jan 21, 2006 11:54 pm

Hi Carlton...
Ive been through a breakup last year and it was tough. In the two and a half years together we went through the lot, marriages and births in the family but also the loss of his mother, my godfather and my grandmother. In a way we often thought that all these moments would have helped to keep us together because we were the only ones there for each other but we brokeup on Christmas day no less. Because I went through the whole range of emotions during our breakup, I thought nothing of eating a packet of tim tams and a tub of ice cream (with choc topping). But eventually I came to a point where I knew I couldnt do this to myself anymore... and here I am. The "lightbulb moment" for me was the first time I saw him after the breakup. He has already got a new girlfriend and then theres me... an extra 5kgs and looking alot worse for it. My advice would be think about the next time you see your man, what do you want to be looking and feeling like? Youll need all the energy to work things out with him (and if its right you will) and by eating all that you wont want too.
Goodluck with everything...

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Postby natalie » Tue Feb 07, 2006 6:32 am

Hello Carlton

First of all (((((Hugs))))) to you...I can really sympathise with what you are going through with your boyfriend.I have had the same situation with my husband exept it was me that needed the councelling because of my childhood.

It sounds like you really love him alot and if your love for each other is strong you will get through this toogether.

You also have to make sure you look after yourself as this kind of stuff acn be so emotionally draining on the other partner who feels helpless as all they want to do is help but they dont know what to do.

My hubby and I have been through alot toogether and we have been married for 5 years now and we are stronger as a couple because we have been through alot toogether.

I realy hope everything works out for you and your partner the way you both want.If you ever want to vent you can always come here.Good luck with it all and remember to take care of you aswell as supporting your partner.

Natalie :)
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Postby Tas » Tue Feb 07, 2006 7:47 am

Hi Carlton

I am so sorry to read that you are having to deal with all these emotional issues, which by the way is probably why you are eating the ice cream this way because you are emotionally eating also. It can be a cycle of events.
It's great that you and your boyfriend are supporting each other, he has been there in the past for you and you are there for him now - that's a good basis I believe for any relationship.
Give him the space that he needs as you also need that space for you too for you to come to terms with events leading up to this.
Can I please make a suggestion in relation to your over-eating ice cream etc- could you perhaps go 80/20 with your diet (or as I prefer to call it, Lifestyle Change. Eat sensibly for 80% of the time and set yourself an evening where you can really sit down and enjoy a nice bowl of ice cream? That way you wont feel pressured in strictly keeping to your regimented diet and it serves two purposes. 1. you get to enjoy it more and 2. you wont feel guilty about it.
I'm thinking of you and should you need to vent then you are amongst some great people that will be here for you - we wont let you fall...we'll catch you.
Sending hugs your way - you are doing really well.

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