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Jess (the slacker) has returned.

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Jess (the slacker) has returned.

Postby jeshka » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:13 pm

I am so annoyed with myself. Things have been really hectic lately - I've been sick for like the last 3 weeks, and for a little longer than that we have had my bf's Dad and his gf living with us (they've moved out now). I've hardly eaten a homecooked meal in all that time. We went away for a weekend, I came back sick. I've gone to like 2 birthdays and 2 work parties in the past month, as well as other little get togethers. I have been stressed over money and just everything in general. And on top of that I've basically let myself go, stopped measuring myself, stopped watching what I eat, stopped exercising. It's like my motivation has just gone out the window. I have more cellulite than ever before, I've worn through the inner thighs of 2 pairs of jeans and a pair of work pants (that's about 2 years of constant rubbing together, they just couldn't hold out any more). I went to my work xmas party last thursday, when I looked at the photos, I couldn't pick out a single good one. Examples:

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Note the double chin and flabby arms. I feel like a blimp. Being sick doesn't help - I feel twice as cruddy. I have come on here a couple of times and haven't brought myself to post anything, because I see everyone else going so well and I just feel ashamed of myself and embarassed. I just want it all gone. Everytime I set myself a goal (originally it was 'get to 60kg by my 21st - that was in July), I get to that time and extend it further. I changed it to 'by Xmas' - nearly there and nowhere near how I want to look. I have an exercise DVD but haven't used it recently because we've had a full house and I can't exactly whack it on and dance around the loungeroom while everyone's trying to watch telly. We stocked up on lean meats and lots of vegies while shopping last night - now that we're getting back into a normal routine, hopefully that will mean normal eating patterns aswell. Anyway, without further ado, here are my measurements:

Bicep: 30cm
Bust: 85cm
Waist: 76cm
Tummy: 93cm
Hips: 97cm
Butt: 103cm
Upper Thigh: 61cm
Lower Thigh: 44.5cm
Calf: 39cm
Ankle: 24cm

Most of the measurements have stayed the same since I last measured (late October) but a couple - like my tummy, hips and thighs - have grown a few cm.

I need to find a way to stick to this. I start drinking heaps of water but then I ruin it by eating Maccas. Or I'll stay away from takeaway all week but then go out on the weekend and eat hangover food all day Sunday. And exercise doesn't even come into it. I'd love to go for a walk on the beach or something but I'm always either too busy or it's pouring rain. Stupid NSW weather. I will get there. I will stop making excuses. It's just getting the willpower. I just want to look good again.

Thanks for reading this rant, kudos to you if you got this far down the page!

Jess
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Postby GOING,GOING,GONE » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:19 pm

:Hey Jess you,ll do it we all have set backs we just have to start again like they say failure isn,t falling down failure is not getting back up again, good luck and take care, and hey even skinny girls have cellulite too your butt is only 103cm it could be worse you have a pretty face so stop stressing it causes wrinkles :lol:

JULS
TENSION IS WHO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE..RELAXATION IS WHO YOU ARE....JULS
(CHINESE PROVERB)

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Postby soon2bayummymummy » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:39 pm

its hard when stuff gets in the way, i was a bridesmaid in my sisters wedding in sept this yr and omg i just cryed and cryed, its hard as its so easy to lose motivation but o so hard to get it back and keep it. GOODLUCK and hope u get the body u want.
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Postby jeshka » Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:50 am

thanks for the comments, guys!

had to get up early to take Nick to the train station, and instead of going back to bed I decided to actually make myself breakfast for once (usually i just wait until 10.30am for my break at work). I am currently boiling 2 eggs (and in my sleepy state I managed to drop a third egg, smashing it all over the fridge - d'oh) and will cook up some toast too. Lunch today will be a sandwich with light peanut butter on it (could be healthier, but it's a start - and better than takeaway). Dinner will probably be steak and vegies. I know there's the whole 'eat 5 small meals instead of 3 big ones' rule, and 'no carbs no dairy etc' but at the moment I am just trying to eat better in general, and once I've got that going again, then I'll reintroduce all the other rules and stuff.

My calorie forcast for today is: 950.

My limit on calorie king is 1310 - this is the figure it recommended to me when I joined, based on my stats and goals. Of course I want to get as close to this number as possible, cos I know staying right under isn't good for you. I've still got room to move in the 'fat', 'protein' and 'carbs' areas on there, so I'll probably snack on some fruit at work.

Day 1, here goes!
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Postby sassi » Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:57 am

hey jess, good to see you back & posting again!

good luck for day one :) you know what you have to do & you know you can do it :)
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Postby jeshka » Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:03 am

thanks Sassi :)
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Postby chubbywife79 » Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:27 pm

Hi Jeshka, you don't look that bad in the pics. Don't be so negative about yourself.
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Postby jeshka » Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:03 pm

i know it may not look that bad to someone else, but compared to what i used to look/feel like, it is that bad to me. 15kg is a lot of extra weight to carry when you have been small for most of your life. that is why i am negative about myself. we all have goals that we want to reach and it shouldn't matter whether we have 15kg or 50kg to lose, we all share the same dissatisfaction with our bodies and just cos i'm not obese doesn't mean i don't have any reason to worry about my weight. i dont want that to come across as catty or harsh or anything, but you have to see where i'm coming from.

anyway, in other news, for snacks today i had a nectarine and 1 kingston bikkie (was starving). i'm dying to eat right now but the bikkie has taken me over my fat intake for the day (including dinner) even though i wont use up all of my calories. might have to wait an hour til the boy gets home and then have my steak and vegies!
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Postby Misstoodles » Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:06 pm

Personally I'd love to look like you, I truely think you're beautiful, but yeah you are right, it really matters how -you- feel about how you look.

It helps ALOT to go groccery shopping and stock up on the good stuff, makes preparing healthy meals so much easier because of the choice you have again. It's generally what kicks me back on track after losing the plot for a while.

Chin up :) You'll get there.

Merry Christmas.
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Postby Misstoodles » Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:14 pm

Actually, I saw this article last night and I thought you might find it worth reading:

http://www.weightlossforall.com/weight-loss-plateau.htm

It goes into a bit of detail about how the body functions and adapts and why constricting your calories too much can result in less weight loss in the long run, and possibly more weight gain when you're not being as careful, like on the weekends.

It had an interesting part on Zig-Zag method for calorie intake.

Anyways, I know you're easing into healthier eating at the moment, but still thought you might like to give it a read.
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Postby jeshka » Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:25 pm

thats awesome, thanks so much Mistoodles. thanks for the feedback :) much appreciated!
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Postby Misstoodles » Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:57 pm

:D No problem!
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Postby jeshka » Fri Dec 14, 2007 11:07 am

oops havent been on in a couple of days, ah well. i have been eating well, just having sandwiches for lunch, and meat+vegies for dinner - it was steak on wednesday night and roast chicken last night - still not the healthiest choices but a big improvement on what i was eating a week or 2 ago. today i put my old khaki shorts on and they did up without giving me love handles - yay. my ankles also look a tad smaller, maybe i'm just imagining it. my right knee is screwed at the moment so i cant do any major exercise that will put pressure on it until it gets better cos it hurts too much, but i was thinking of swimming today because it's such a nice hot day outside! might wait a couple of hours til the sun is over the pool though, i hate swimming in the shade or if there's even a slight breeze - coming from QLD i love the hot weather and i am very picky haha.

im tempted to take my measurements today just to track and see if the last couple of days have made any difference, but i also dont want to because if there's been no change i dont want to be disheartened. i just need to remember that it doesnt happen overnight. me and Nick are having a few (ok maybe more than a few) drinks tonight, but we have nothing planned for the weekend which means i can get plenty of swimming, walking, dancing in and work off those kjs!

now i just have to decide what to have for lunch today!
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Postby Sas » Fri Dec 14, 2007 11:18 am

Sounds like you are going great hun. It's such a great feeling when you start to fit clothes again isn't is :)

Congrats on the great work! :)
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Postby jeshka » Fri Dec 14, 2007 11:19 am

cheers, Sas! yeah i love that feeling of putting something on and expecting it to be tight, but having it feel comfortable for the first time in months! It's good motivation!
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