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Indi's Progress..

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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Indi3 » Fri Aug 08, 2008 12:27 am

Started the day well.. but then something kicked in and said "well, your already so fat, you may as well eat whatever you want".

I didnt.. totally. I went shopping for lunch.. paroused the biscuits and the chocolates and the lollies... i made a packt with myself at the begining of the year that i dont eat lollies anymore so i didnt put the lollies in the basket. I have done too well with that that i dont want to ruin it now. The biscuits were next.. ooh, Gluton Free... But NO. I recently made the decision NOT to ever buy biscuits again. Coz i know i will eat them ALL. I moved away from the biscuits.

I didnt end up buying anything 'naughty'. I feel good about that now.

However, i was starving by the end of the day and drank 2 red wines and then bought a fish burger for dinner. Over all the day wasnt bad but i can feel that 'naughty' thing in me, that voice that says 'go on, its okay.. have whatever you want, your stressed, just do this when your ready".

Days Intake:
B Coffee & Prunes
L 4 corn thins with 4 slices of 97% fat free chicken & 1 slice cheese
S Popcorn Bar
S Popcorn Bar, 2 red wines
D Fish Burger
S half an almond finger

No exercise today. The lack of breakfast threw me off and lunch wasnt very apatizing or filling which lead to over indulgence at the end of the day. Also, a major weak point for me is between Lunch and dinner.. it always feels such a long time untill dinner.

I am proud of myself for not buying crap from the supermarket.. i also didnt buy any crap when i was at the corner shop and SO NEARLY DID.. but i didnt. So yay for me!

One thing i have learnt this year is that whenever i go to the corner shop for milk or newspaper or whatever, i ALWAYS want to buy some little 'treat' when im there. Like a reward for walking 5 seconds down the road or something. This behaviour began when i was 3 when my mum used to send me to the local shop for the weekend paper and when i got there the shop owner would give me a free lolli. I have done this my whole life. Now, when i leave the shop 'treatless' i feel fear that i haven't got everything i wanted but i also feel GREAT that i didnt give in to a 'treat'. I feel almost 'grown up'.. or in a higher place..

So somewhere in me wants it more than i know or can feel right now. Thats reassuring. Now i feel good actually. Something is Kicking in.. the more i lock these chages into place, the more they will add up to a better lifestyle and they will be natural impulses rather than a huge effort.

Sleep time!,.. Good night everyone.. sweet dreams..

Indi :wink:
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Tarz » Fri Aug 08, 2008 11:14 am

Thats great Indie. Once you change your habits it becomes sooo much easier. Getting out of the habit of buying that treat at the shop is a good sign of things to come.
Also well done on fighting of the lure of the biscuits. I find if i have something to eat before shopping i am less likely to buy things like that. When you shop a little bit hungry you buy things you wouldn't mind eating at that time.
Your doing great!
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Strawberry » Fri Aug 08, 2008 2:58 pm

Indi you are making great progress. Not buying the biscuits/lollies/treat is testimony 2 the life style change u want.
having a bigger breakfast will help u and adding a snack between lunch & dinner will too.
little changes lead 2 results!
have a great weekend :)
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Indi3 » Fri Aug 08, 2008 8:29 pm

Thanks Guys.. i just know i have to keep up the things i have changes.. and these are simple things that help stop a) sugar overdose & b) over eating.

Okay days intake:

B muesli with prunes & coffee
S Popcorn Bar
L 4 corn thins with chicken shavings (97% fat free) with little bit ww cream cheese
S ww fruit tub with fat free diet yogurt
D Velish pumpkin soup & 6 little craker thingys & 2 slices chicken shavings

Food wise the day was good. I still feel hunry though and 'want something' .. dont have any naughty foods in the house so if i do end up inging it will be on prunes and corn thins.

Gotta get some more jarra coz i want chocolate but dont want to buy blocks of it.

Still uncertain about the work situation which is making me anxious but im trying to stay n top of it.

Hope you've all had a good day..

Indi :wink:
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby hippy_shake » Sat Aug 09, 2008 1:28 am

Hey,
Looks like you had a really good day food-wise :) And yes, jarrah light hot chocolates are divine and really help beat a chocolate craving, so best to stock up on them! Just wondering have you been exercising and drinking enough water? Personally out of every 'trick' in the book, it is these 2 simple things that help me stay on track with my eating.
Hope you have a great weekend!
Love, Jane
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Indi3 » Sat Aug 09, 2008 1:35 am

Well.. it's after midnight and i dd what i thought i would.. binge on everything i could :oops: .. then my friend came round with chocolate :oops: :oops: .. i didnt eat it ALL though which is good but still . I sabotaged my good eating day. Grrr :twisted:

Why why whyyyyy ! ?

AND.. tomorrow is a friends party from 2pm so saying i will be good would just be instant failure. I am going for a walk in the morning though with a friend so thats one good thing for the day.

Okay.. time for bed..

Good night.. have a great weekend everyone..


Indi x :wink:
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby hippy_shake » Sat Aug 09, 2008 8:36 am

Hey,
I can empathies with that! the first few times I saw my friends after starting my healthier lifestyle I totally binged! Which I think was because I wasn't allowing myself the treats they had freely on offer, I hadn't talked to her about my new lifestyle, and to some extent it had just become habit- we get together and eat junk food, its just what we do! So I reassessed things and decided that any long term eating program should allow me eat the things I want to eat in moderation, and I gave myself a treat day- that I could use if I was with her, or normally just on the weekends. Secondly I talked to her about getting fit and healthy and made it clear how important it was to me, and thirdly some of our habits have changed- instead of just going over to her place and watching movies and eating junk we head out for a walk, or watch a movie at the cinema, and slowly my eating habits have changed around her, where its ok if she gets maccas and I get sushi, or its ok if she buys chocolate and I only have 2 squares. Maybe if you talk to your friend it might help, as she may not being around junk food- and also won't be insulted if you don't want any. Hope you have a lovely walk today and a great time at the party!
Love, Jane
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Indi3 » Sat Aug 09, 2008 1:16 pm

My friends are pretty good actually about not making me eat anything.. and if i tell them im not eating naughty stuff then they wont eat it in front of me. They also dont get upset if i dont eat it. They all have a very healthy attitute to chocolate etc.. they can eat 2 pieces and still have it sitting there and not have any more. God how i envy that!

But your right Jane.. about reassessing what you DO wth your friends.. its the deciding factor for when you end up eating together.. coz after all, eating with friends is like the most common thing to do when you meet up with friends.. either breakfast, lunch, dinner, morning or afternoon tea - coffee .. and the "oh the cakes look good" and eat cake too.. going to the movies means a big box of popcorn or an ice cream or bag of lollies.. eating is such a sociable thing. And its not like we can just give up food the way people have to give up smoking or drugs etc..

Woke up too late for a walk which is a shame coz its a beautiful day and i was looking forward to it.

Food so far:
B Muesli , 3 prunes & coffee

I'm not planning on getting too drunk at this party this afternoon.. but who knows what will happen. Depends on the vibe.

Have a good day everyone ..

Indi x :wink:
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Strawberry » Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:37 pm

Hey Indi.
do you think you binged cos you were feeling hungry? Maybe filling up on steamed vegetables would help next time. apart from this you did well.
remember the great advice you gave me u need to listen to it yourself. :)
hope u have forgiven yourself 4 the binge.
did u have a great time at the party?
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Indi3 » Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:23 pm

Hii

So, the party.. I wasnt going to drink beer but.. i did.. with the excuse of "if its Blond, its okay." Then the fish and chips later. PLus more beer then choclate and cake at home. :oops:

Following day, i always do a good breakfast (muesli and prunes) but lunch was a big sweet chicken foccacia with cheese.. then dinner was salt and papper squid. Grr! :twisted:

Today.. had an event - Restaurant 08.. so was wondering around drinking beer, then eating ice cream, then trying red wine hen muffins then white wine then cheese then beer then olives then more cheese and crackers and on and on and on.. :oops: i even got given a box of 4 gluton free muffins.. mmm, they are good! :D :oops:

Im back there again tomorrow so i will have to plan the day better.. being a food lover and a binger, i am no good at coping with so much food and wine around me!

How do i feel? FAT! :oops: :cry: :oops: :cry:

I have been standing up alot though and walking around so thats got to help with processing the calories.. more so than normal.

I'm still looking for a job .. and will hopefully get this part time massage job i've applied for which will be great for my weight i think. just being around an industry i love and one that is about health will, i think, naturally turn my lifestyle into a healthier one.

Have a forgiven myself for the binge. i spose but im still angry with myself for STILLL not managing a healthy lifestyle to some degree. I am just not able to cope with emotions and change without gettiing fat. That is the ultimate point and its pissing me off!

Ho Hum.

Indi :( :cry: :oops:
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Indi3 » Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:42 am

Still no closer to go goal.

Still binging.

Still craving.

Still trying to find the filler that will keep the anxiety at bay.

Wishing for a wave of enlightenment to come over me and never go back out to sea, leaving me stranded until the next wave etc etc..

What will it take?


:cry:
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby hippy_shake » Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:51 am

Hey,
Maybe if you're still struggling with eating, it might help to just focus on something else for a while? Like instead of recording all your food make a goal to go for a half an hour walk everyday? Just a suggestion but in theory it makes sense... Or maybe talk to someone about it? Hugs for you! Hope life gets a bit easier for you soon. Hows the job hunt going?
Love, Jane
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby hippy_chick » Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:50 am

Hey Indi.

Maybe just try thinking 'What are the consequences of eating this?' and imagine yourself standing on the scales, and how overjoyed you'd be if they said____ rather than ____ and is it worth eating _________ if it's going to mess with your goals.

I have to try it myself :)

I always think though, 'It's just ONE freddo frog'. But maybe if I think 'This Freddo frog = 500g' (it doesn't, but maybe if I thought that?) I wouldn't eat it. Maybe, everytime we eat these junky things (when we eat them on auto-pilot I mean, not really because it's a special occasion when we can enjoy them) we think, 'this = 500g on the scale'... and psychologically it might help?

Not sure, just thinking out loud...
Slow & Steady Wins the Race!

I'm imformed, committed & consistant. I'm loving my body & working towards a sustainable body, the healthy way.

Persistance will set you free.
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Indi3 » Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:42 am

Thanks Jane, Yeah i have thought about just not thinking about it.. usuallyu when i get into this state I just eat whatever and then i get sck of food and then i can start eating well.

I like the idea of this ________ will show an extra 500gms on the scale if i eat it.

I dont know if im strong enough to do that yet though.. but its in the bag of tricks when i am ready.

Job hunting .. has taken an interesting twist.. i went for this massage interview yesterday.. the trade test.. and i was sooo nervous! I did ok in some parts and crap in others - its been 4 years since clinic practice so i was freaking out.. trying to remeber what to do.

In the end i got offered the position.. (yay) but the job was originally for Sats and mon's at this centre but when they handed me the contract they said it was sats and sun's at the other centre. The other centre is further away and do i want to work from 9am till 7pm all weekend?

It does mean that i wouldn't be restricted to weekday part time or full time work coz i would be available for mondays. Hmm.. so i have some decisions to make.

To give an example of my diet right now, here is my food intake for yesterday:
B Muesli & coffee
S Muffin
L SMoked salmon and egg roll (only ate one half of the bread roll) & coffee
S sample ice creams from the Gelato shop (just tried little samples, didnt buy an ice cream!)
S Chocolate
D Pest pasta with bit of bread (like i needed it !)
S Chocolate, red wine, chocolate, red wine, red wine, red wine ..

I think its just stress making me eat more.. i just want to supress the emotions.. i think once i've got the job stuff sorted i will be in a better frame of mind to look after myself.

Okay.. onwards.. and upwards.. Indi 8)
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Re: Indi's Progress..

Postby Strawberry » Thu Aug 14, 2008 10:42 am

hi indi.
at least you know you r eating for emotional reasons - maybe take 5 mins to ask yourself some questions:
1) do i really want this?
2) will it help my situation?
3) how long will it make me feel good for?
4) will eating this make things go away?
5) will i feel guilty after i eat this?
6) will i be able 2 pick up & continue or will i fall into failure mode?
if u get more no's than yes' than eat & enjoy. if u get more yes' take another 5 mins, take deep breaths, meditated and do yesterday's challenge and visualise u at goal weight.
i like the sound of this idea i'm going to write these questions down myself & do them.

Or if u get worried about the whole day way not focus on one meal at a time - instead of saying i'm going 2 eat healthy all day focus on just breakfast & so on.

take the weekend job - it'll get you in the industry & that leaves u time 2 find a part-time/full-time M-F job.
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