Started the day well.. but then something kicked in and said "well, your already so fat, you may as well eat whatever you want".
I didnt.. totally. I went shopping for lunch.. paroused the biscuits and the chocolates and the lollies... i made a packt with myself at the begining of the year that i dont eat lollies anymore so i didnt put the lollies in the basket. I have done too well with that that i dont want to ruin it now. The biscuits were next.. ooh, Gluton Free... But NO. I recently made the decision NOT to ever buy biscuits again. Coz i know i will eat them ALL. I moved away from the biscuits.
I didnt end up buying anything 'naughty'. I feel good about that now.
However, i was starving by the end of the day and drank 2 red wines and then bought a fish burger for dinner. Over all the day wasnt bad but i can feel that 'naughty' thing in me, that voice that says 'go on, its okay.. have whatever you want, your stressed, just do this when your ready".
B Coffee & Prunes
L 4 corn thins with 4 slices of 97% fat free chicken & 1 slice cheese
S Popcorn Bar
S Popcorn Bar, 2 red wines
D Fish Burger
S half an almond finger
No exercise today. The lack of breakfast threw me off and lunch wasnt very apatizing or filling which lead to over indulgence at the end of the day. Also, a major weak point for me is between Lunch and dinner.. it always feels such a long time untill dinner.
I am proud of myself for not buying crap from the supermarket.. i also didnt buy any crap when i was at the corner shop and SO NEARLY DID.. but i didnt. So yay for me!
One thing i have learnt this year is that whenever i go to the corner shop for milk or newspaper or whatever, i ALWAYS want to buy some little 'treat' when im there. Like a reward for walking 5 seconds down the road or something. This behaviour began when i was 3 when my mum used to send me to the local shop for the weekend paper and when i got there the shop owner would give me a free lolli. I have done this my whole life. Now, when i leave the shop 'treatless' i feel fear that i haven't got everything i wanted but i also feel GREAT that i didnt give in to a 'treat'. I feel almost 'grown up'.. or in a higher place..
So somewhere in me wants it more than i know or can feel right now. Thats reassuring. Now i feel good actually. Something is Kicking in.. the more i lock these chages into place, the more they will add up to a better lifestyle and they will be natural impulses rather than a huge effort.
Sleep time!,.. Good night everyone.. sweet dreams..