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~ * Vanessa's Progress * ~

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~ * Vanessa's Progress * ~

Postby MiSs_VaNeSsA » Tue Mar 31, 2009 11:15 am

So i decided to start a progress diary so i can be held accountable and look back and learn from my experiences.
I've struggled with my weight for a long time....i think i just woke up one morning and realized enough is enough, i'm better than this, i CAN do this, i'm WORTH it. I think my weight has held me back from enjoying a lot of things in life. I dont go to the beach any more because i'm embarrased with how i look, I dread going out with friends or family get-togethers, parties etc for the same reason.
My father, mother and little brother are also overweight, whereas my sister and older brother are healthy as can be. My mother has been trying to lose weight for years, and i think seeing her try and fail so many times convinced me that i would never succeed, that it was pointless. I know my brother gets teased at school for being overweight and that breaks my heart, because i see how it affects him. I want to do this so i can show him it can be done and that he can do it too. I want to be a positive role model and for him to say....well, if she can do it, so can i.
I also feel that family and friends can make it that much easier or that much harder to lose weight....they either support or undermine you. I have some fantastic friends who are proud of me for taking this step and support me all the way, yet i've also had so called "friends" who try to sabotage my every effort "oh, come on, thats not all your going to eat, is it?" "just have one, it wont hurt" "one day of takeaway food will be fine, you can start next week", i've been starting next week for years now, thats why i'm this big!! :roll: I also remember a few years ago when i lost 20 kgs, one friend of mine stopped calling me, stopped visiting, stopped wanting to go out for lunch, because i was SMALLER than she was and she was insecure because now I was the one getting all the attention, yet when I was bigger, she could spend all the time in the world with me :roll: I realized over time that I shouldnt worry about it, because I dont need that kind of friendship!!!!
Also, I've come to the realization that i'm an emotional eater....if i'm angry, hurt, upset, bored...I will eat and I will eat A LOT.
So now when i feel the urge to snack on junk, i ask you really need that, are you really hungry, are you just bored? Usually, i wait 10 minutes and assess how I'm feeling, go do something to take my mind off food and generally, the feeling subsides.
I also have a problem with self-control, I'm definately an all or nothing girl...if i cheat, i cheat in a BIG way. :twisted: I cant just eat 5 hot chips, I'll eat until there's none left! So i'm trying to become more aware of that.
I've also been thinking about the reason why I gained back 20kgs.....I think my problem was....I got to a good point in my weight loss where I felt great about myself, happy and way more confident, and i thought...hey, i'm healthy now, i look good, i feel good, i can eat what i wanna eat now...which is ridiculous, but at the time, i believed it. it makes me mad because i think to myself...if i had just kept going, I could've been at my goal weight a long time ago....but the past is the past, and each day is a fresh start.
I've lost 2kgs in the past week tho, so I'm on my way, although I've had a cold :cry: which has limited my exercise and I havent been eating that much, just small amounts of food throughout the day, but its given me the enthusiasm to keep going.
My plan is pretty much just to eat healthy and small portions - I drink a lot of whey protein shakes, eggs, lean chicken and fish, whole wheat wraps, cottage cheese, mixed steamed veggies and i'm trying to eat more fruit like blueberries and apples. I find I'm not hungry at all when i eat these foods and they keep me satisfied till the next meal. Exercise will be some form of cardio at least 5 days a week - mostly walking, Tae Bo or stationary bike. Weight training - 3 times a week. Pilates and Yoga - at least once a week. Sunday - total rest day.

Yesterday Mon 30/03
800-900 calories :oops: (very low, i know, but i wasnt feeling the best and my throat was killing me which made it hard to eat)
Water: unsure - probably around 1.5 litres + 2 cups green tea (need to increase my water intake)
Exercise: none - i wanted to jump on the treadmill so bad :( but i thought it was best for me to rest.

Todays calories and exercise to come (feel alot better today) :wink:
So thats about it. Sorry for writing so much. I think i just needed to get a lot of things off my chest. It feels good to be able to talk to people who are going thru the same thing I am :) I look forward to keeping you all updated with my progress. :mrgreen:
~ The difference between TRY and TRIUMPH is just a little UMPH! - Marvin Phillips ~
~ The future depends on what we do in the present - Mahatma Gandhi ~

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Re: ~ * Vanessa's Progress * ~

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:58 pm

It sounds like you have a great plan there Vanessa. And it's terrific that you've analysed what makes you eat the wrong things or eat too much and how you regained those 20kg in the first place. Now that you know what's causing the behaviour you're in a better position to change the behaviour. Good luck! I know you can do it. :D

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