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Tegan's back in the game

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Tegan's back in the game

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sat Jun 13, 2009 6:05 pm

Ok, I've cut and pasted from my intro just to save time and explanation. This will be my new progress page.

My name is Tegan. I started my weightloss journey in December 2005 after having been horrified by my Honours photo and being told by the anesthesiologist for my wisdom teeth extraction that my weight was a concern for being under anesthetic. At my heaviest I was 110kg (and around 172cm tall).

Long story short, I started walking, then jogging in the morning and then with my first pay packet I bought a bike and started cycling to and from work (30min each way). Then we moved and I went back to uni and I started cycling an hour each way. And of course I focussed on my eating - mostly reducing the amount I ate and trying to eat more fresh 'real' food and reduce the chocolate and cheese :D . Nothing was ever banned though. After around a year I had dropped my weight to 75kg. And I was stoked. You can search for pics of me on this site if they're still there. I even managed to run 10km for the Burnie 10 (I couldn't make it to Burnie, so I did it here at home :lol: ) and looked fabulous on my wedding day. I also had another round of surgery for gallstones (a legacy of being so overweight) and they were so unconcerned about my weight they didn't bother calculating my BMI! I still believe that this forum was instrumental in me being able to do that.

But one thing and another led me to disappear from the forum and over about 6 months I regained 10kg. Managed to stabilise it and kept it there for about a year (gee I hope my time estimations are adding up). At the time I was aware it had increased, but I wasn't in a place mentally to actually do anything about it. I tried to get back into the forum but was really busy and my heart just wasn't in it. There were heaps of things going on in my life emotional and health wise that just made it too hard at the time, so I just focussed on making sure I didn't get any bigger.

But now I'm back in the game. Even though I'm busier than ever, I'm dealing better with what life throws at me and I have the drive do do it again. I injured my back a while back and have been unable to ride for a while - physio is working on that. So I'm swimming, doing aquaaerobics walking, doing pilates and am going to join a friend's boot camp (lovingly referred to as booty). In the past month ish I've managed to drop 5kg. And I'm rewarding each kilo lost with a bead for one of those bead bracelet things (like a cheap version of a Pandora).

So I weighed in today at 80kg, still maintaining my miracle overnight 5kg loss from last week (something to do with getting lost while walking the dog and spending 4.5 hours walking back to find the car. Still doesn't make sense, but I'm not complaining)
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby warriorsgirl » Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:54 pm

Hey Tegan, welcome back and great work on the 35kg! Huge effort!
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Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:58 pm

Bah! having a bad bad bad naughty silly bad bad day with food. Monday and Tuesday weren't good either. Damnit. Ok, stop now Tegan, you've eaten some crap and enough to make yourself sick too, now STOP IT. Pull your friggin' finger out otherwise Mel will kick your behind at booty. And when you get home, you're putting on that bloody exercise DVD OR ELSE!

Thankyou. Now back to work.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:24 pm

Ok, my name is Tegan and I'm a chocaholic.

Seriously, I think I have an addiction, or a binge eating problem or SOMETHING!!! Some days I just seem completely unable to control myself. 7 choccie bars today :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

WTF????????

I'm good for a number of days and then I can't stop.

That's it. No more chocolate. None. Ever. I've tried the one a week thing, the allowed in sensible amounts thing etc before. They work for a while and then if I have one, I can't stop at that, I just want more and more and more. And I hide it and do it in secret. And I NEVER feel sick. I must be addicted to the stuff. I know all the cognitive stuff going on in the back of my head. The little devil sitting on my shoulder saying "you can have one, one's ok, and if you're going to have one, you'll have to get another while you're there, you can't just take one, they come in pairs you know" but despite all my frigging training, I can't stop it. Well the game's up now you little censored, say hello to my little friend and hasta la vista baby.

I am seriously going to have to go home and do some exercise tonight to double my usual daily total. And the same again tomorrow. And just salad for dinner. I don't need any more, I've consumed enough calories to last me till tomorrow dinner. And I'm just going to have to fess up to hubbie, who is not going to be impressed with me.

And I'm going to do myself a functional analysis to figure out the behaviour chain and put some stuff in place to interrut the cycle. This is bloody ridiculous. No frigging wonder I've gainied those 10kg back.

Just really really shitty with myself right now. :evil: :evil: :evil:
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby candycane » Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:44 pm

It's ok tegan, i had the same problem about 2 days ago. Stress eating sweet food! THought it would never end. Felt guilty, unhappy, etc. Regained inspiration when i was reading a body building site and looked at their diets :) (ok i dont want to look like a body builder but they are very informative).

As long as you dont let the binge continue is the main thing. Put a stop to it. Make sure you fill up on all the right foods, and step down from the choc addiction. At the moment i've allowed myself 2 scoops of sogood choc icecream because its a bit denser then normal icecream and only about 100calories which i can easily fit into my diet. And because it's after dinner i feel satisfied and full enough that i won't go back for more food.

Stop thinking of it as a diet, think of it as a lifestyle change. Because for the rest of your life you will be eating well and exercising and probably eating the odd piece of chocolate :)

I also enjoy a jarrah hot choc or chai lattee before bed.

Don't buy what you don't want to eat. Fill your house with healthy snacks so u can avoid the chocolatey high calorie high fat ones. Think about how you looked at your wedding, how good you felt at that time, how good you felt when you could run 10km :shock: then compare it to how you are feeling now. What do YOU want? :) every time u reach for the chocolate remind yourself WHY you are eating healthy and how that felt for you.

Good luck darl :)
Goal: 65-67 kg <-------Ultimate Goal:
For now? No weighing for a few weeks...
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Location: NSW

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby Jaded » Thu Jun 18, 2009 6:47 pm

I'm a chocoholic too :( but here's to getting motivated again!
54kgs, goal 50kgs
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Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Thu Jun 18, 2009 6:53 pm

I don't see it as a diet, never have done. It IS a lifestyle change (and has been for at least 3 years) but the chocolate thing is a whole different ball game. I don't buy the stuff either and have it at home either. My fridge and pantry are probably the least junk filled in the whole of Australia (ok, maybe a little overexaggeration - the only crap I have is hubby's chips and biscuits) - it's damn fundraising chocolates at Uni that are the problem.

I'm just really shitty because it makes me look like a complete moron who has no idea about this and I should be able to do BETTER dammit. I've been doing this for long enough that I should be able to be able to control how much I eat. And if I can't well maybe it just doesn't have a place in my life at all.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby candycane » Thu Jun 18, 2009 7:17 pm

i dont think it makes you look like a moron at all, and i saw that you'd lost a lot of weight before. I've also lost about 30 kilos as well so i know what it feels like to feel like your stepping backwards when it should be easier by now. I apologise if i seemed patronising but i was more telling you how i dealt with the exact same problem.

If its fundraising chocolate just give them the money and dont take the chocolate. It's what i've done before. If you are doing assessments i know that feeling too.

It's a psychological thing mate you know that, just think about what it is thats triggering the need to eat crap food. I said it's a life style change because i want you to think that you can eat chocolate every now and again and it shouldn't affect you if you have been eating well at least 80% of the time.

If you didn't want it in your life you wouldnt be here now - Perhaps you just need to take the pressure off yourself. Stop getting angry every time you slip up, just acknowledge it and move on. Yes i ate censored food today. I feel like censored because of it. I won't do that again tomorrow because i want to feel better tomorrow. Youre only human
Goal: 65-67 kg <-------Ultimate Goal:
For now? No weighing for a few weeks...
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Posts: 1376
Joined: Fri Oct 26, 2007 11:18 am
Location: NSW

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Thu Jun 18, 2009 7:52 pm

Yeah I know, sorry for sounding like I was snapping. I'm not mad at you, just frustrated with me. I know if I eat chocolate every now and then it shouldn't affect me and if that's what I did it would be fine, I'm quite capable of having the occasional packet of chips, or piece of cake and that's fine. I just seem to be completely incapable of stopping at a 'bit' of chocolate. And sometimes it's not all that occasionally either.

The choccies are always there, in the lunch/kitchen/common area where I have to walk past them all day every day. They already moved them to a less conspicuous part of the room when I asked last time, I don't think it's fair for me to ask people to get rid of them entirely just because I can't control myself.

It may actually be my way of avoiding doing my thesis work (long story). But it's not very productive either for my health or for my thesis! And that problem's not going to go away in a hurry. Maybe next time I'm feeling like I need a distraction I'll do some sit ups or something instead.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby candycane » Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:51 pm

i know how that feels i am queen of procrastination!~except law assessments rather than thesis. although the last one was 5000 words so 3000 more and it could have been one :evil:

I'm the same, i find it hard stopping at one slice of chocolate, so i don't eat it as much as possible, unless with the bf because he dolls me out a few bits and puts it away :) my nemisis is the bikkie jar at work. We never used to have one until recently and its always brimming. I ended up putting it in a position that although isn't hidden, i cant see it unless i'm looking for it - that way those who eat bikkies can and those that don't aren't tempted :wink:

i sugges getting out of the common area all together. If you have a laptop head to the nearest gloria jeans buy a coffee and work from there. They have wireless internet (free) and powerpoints and comfy chairs. I spent a few hours there the other day and got more work done there then i have anywhere else recently. And you can't procrastinate because there's no where else to go lol. Or u could go to the local library, or a park - i find it really helps - you cant procrastinate when theres nothing else to do :)

or drink a cup of tea instead. By the time u make it and go back to your desk you'll have forgotten about the craving anyway. you'll be ok :) im sure of it
Goal: 65-67 kg <-------Ultimate Goal:
For now? No weighing for a few weeks...
candycane
 
Posts: 1376
Joined: Fri Oct 26, 2007 11:18 am
Location: NSW

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:37 am

All good ideas. Unfortunately (and I know I sound like a negative Nancy here, but it REALLY is the case) the postgrad offices are situated all round the common area so you step out of your office (to make a cuppa, go to the loo etc) and you're in the common area (hard to describe). And due to my thesis design I have to use a program that is only available on these certain computers - can't work from a laptop :roll: (and it's like $300 to get a licence to run it on my laptop).
Luckily I'm only at uni 2 days a week at the moment (because of placement), but I know if I don't get it under control, those 2 days are going to be bad... really really bad. Oh and I am the QUEEN of procrastinating. I can procrastinate with anything. Even minesweeper. If I wanted to procratinate at Gloria Jeans I would probably attempt to calculate the diameter of the cups and trying to remember how to work out the volume of the cup in my head. Seriously.

I'm thinking I might make a nice big sign and stick it over the choccie box saying something like "These chocolates are not to be eaten by Tegan". Nice and embarassing so I won't dare to even go near it. Or make a rule that if I even touch a choccie from the box, I have to announce the fact that I am going to eat a chocolate bar to the nearest person. That should severely limit the number I eat. :lol:

And I did sort of make up for it during yesterday: Walked dog 1/2 hour in morning, walked 1hr to uni, and walked dog 1 hr in evening. Today: walked dog 1 hr this morning, did 1/2 hour pilates and will get on my bike for the first time in forever to ride to Glenorchy (1/2 hour each way) to run an arvo of interviews. We'll see how my back copes with that.

Thanks for the ideas. Any more I'm quite willing to hear and try any that are new and creative (though I have tried a lot :roll: ).
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sat Jun 20, 2009 9:19 am

Bum. A couple of bad days this week and I'm up 2 kg again :roll: *sigh*

I had my first ride on my bike yesterday though :D Forgot how much I loved it. It was only a short ride (1/2 hour there and home) and I had a few twinges in my back, so still not up to the full Uni trip, but I'm getting there. It was freezing and dark last night and I left for home later than I'd expected so I hadn't brought appropriate gear (oops :lol: ). I had lights though.

Walking hound and doing some gardening today.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:54 am

Still having a bad week - maybe it should be a bad fortnight. But I discovered that it's TTOTM so that may be my answer for a lot of stuff this week, including some emotional stuff right now that is also not helping.

Weighed in on Saturday and had inflated myself another 2kg :roll: :oops:

Went jogging on Sunday with my booty instructor and some other people (and my hound) despite my physio telling me to avoid running (yeah I know, bad Tegan). But I took it easy I promise and only jogged in little sections. Loved it though and my dog is the best jogging partner when he's off lead (he's such a good boy). Might have to go there again. I actually quite enjoyed myself. I forgot how much I love vigorous exercise and I miss it so badly. I have to keep reminding myself to keep it nice and slow though which sucks.

Might ride to placement tomorrow, and then Booty starts on Wednesday (yay, boxing).

Hopefully I can contain myself today. Just had a cup of hot chocolate (uh huh). My goal for today is not to have one of the cake things for morning tea that they're catering. I will take a tangello instead. I will be reporting back about my success. I will also be doing aqua-aerobics tonight and having a nice vegetabley stirfry for dinner.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:42 am

Survived the bikkies at morning tea, only had 2 hot chocolates to really drag the day down.
Have walked/jogged my friend's dogs this morning rather than ride (their bikes have no lights and it was too dark to go without lights on highway :shock: )

Another day, another chance for success
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: Tegan's back in the game

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:37 pm

First day of booty today. Testing. I managed (from memory, and I did keep forgetting to keep count):

2.5 pushups from my toes
20 pushups from knees
30 situps
5 tricep pushups
5 on the beep test (yay beat my high school PB)
and 30 squat jumps (I think???)


I hurt now. The end. :lol:
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

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