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I don't want to be fat anymore

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I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby Booties » Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:26 am

Hey weightloss,

I haven't been on here for a long time, and a heap of stuff has changed.

The last time I was on here, using these forums, I was trying for a child with my husband. Since then, which was like 4months ago, we have realised we do not want a kid yet, and thank God we have not been blessed with one, yet.

I recently quit my job, so I have a lot of time on my hands but that does not make weight loss any easier, for me.

I have been married for nearly 3.5yrs and each year I set myself a goal to fit into my wedding dress again. It has been 3.5yrs since I put that dress on. I am still not at that goal and it kills me that I cannot be disciplined enough to reach it.

Tonight while trying to find out how much my nearly 8mth old Border Collie X Calle dog pup weighs, I found what I was dreading. My weight.

For ages now I have kinda been ignoring my weight, pretending like it isn't a worry. But it should be. I figured that if I didn't spend much time looking at myself naked in the mirror or if I didn't weigh myself, then the problem would go away. I was wrong, it just gets worse.

My current weight, which I realise is not my correct weight (I weighed myself after dinner) is 81.9kgs. I should be close to my ultimate goal by now, 60kgs. I am 24yrs old.

My husband is also depressed about his weight, and as I am the kind of person who is motivated by others, this is not helping. My husband is great, don't get me wrong, but he is not a very motivated man. I found this makes it hard for me.

For many days now I have planned to go for a walk or a jog, maybe even jump on the exercise bike or do some weights on the home gym. Heck my dog needs a walk so wouldn't that be enough to get me active? No! I have not done anything active all week. I even dressed in my workout clothes hoping that it may motivate me, but still the answer is a big fat NO!

I don't know what to do. I don't like the word 'diet' as to me it puts a negative spin on eating, and I tend to avoid negative things. I want to eat healthily, but not be someone who reads packages to find out what is in my foods (I tried that and eventually didn't want to eat anything for the fear of how bad it was).

I know that with the right eating regime and being active every day, that I can reach my goal. I can see that in my mind. I already lost 7kgs or so doing that, but I am struggling. I figured that maybe I should come back on here, where it all began and try to start again.

I am going to take a photo of me, in my undies without sucking my belly in and then print it off and put it on my wall in my bathroom. I don't want to hide from the problem anymore. I need to do this. I am sick and tired of being a weak willed person and I want to start to do things that mean something to me.

I am quite a lazy, impatient, negative and unmotivated person. This will soon be, who I was and not who I am.

Please help me achieve this. I need all the support I can get.

Thanks Guys and Gals.

Rachel
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby onthedecrease » Sat Aug 15, 2009 11:08 am

Best of luck to you on your journey rachael. i really hope you use this post as the motivation you needed to take action on your weight loss plan. Keep us posted. :D
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby becs » Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:17 pm

Hi Rachel,

Motivation doesn't come easy to most of us - in fact, you sound pretty similar to me! I've spent the last 3 years looking for quick fixes to my weight issues. I joined a gym: only went a few times. I tried Kate Morgan: got sick of surviving on shakes. I joined this forum back in 2007: lurked for a while then forgot about it. I joined calorieking: again, I lurked then disappeared. I tried Xndo: then remembered that I got sick of shakes when I was on Kate Morgan! I was impatient and lazy and despite my want to be slim, I didn't have the motivation to get going. I let myself get bigger and bigger, ordering larger and larger work uniforms... until the day I had to order size 18 pants - that was a shock!

When I put my order in for size 18s, I realised that I'd let myself get too big, and that if I kept on gaining I'd have even more to lose to get back into a healthy weight range. I was annoyed at myself for being so lazy and unmotivated previously, but at the same time I learnt a lot through all my failed attempts. I learnt that I had to be patient, that there are days where motivation is nowhere to be found, but also that the only person that can control what happens from now is me.

It's not an easy journey, and we all struggle at times, I've found key is to learn from those struggles, identify what the issues are and where you can go from here. Reading your post, it seems like you're well on your way - I'm sure with all the advice and support that this forum provides there'll be no stopping you! Good luck and I'm looking forward to following your progress.
Starting weight: 87kg
Goal weight: 65kg


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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Sat Aug 15, 2009 2:54 pm

Welcome back, Rachel! I wish it could be under happier circumstances. I'm sorry to hear you're so distressed about your weight loss journey.

If you have difficulty motivating yourself and don't want to read food labels, have you considered doing a face-to-face program like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig? That way you have the support of a team leader or consultant who can help you stay motivated when you're not feeling motivated on your own. And they can tell you what you should be eating so you don't need to figure it out yourself. You could take your husband along if he's also feeling unmotivated yet depressed about his weight.

There's no shame in enlisting an 'expert' when you can't get things done yourself. I get a plumber in to look at my drains. I get an accountant to look at my taxes. I have a supervisor telling me how I should write my thesis. If weight loss is as important to you as these sort of things are then there's nothing wrong with paying someone to help you when you're stuck. If I could afford it I'd still be going to WW meetings. Unfortunately they're not cheap, so if finances are a problem you might need to find another way to motivate yourself. There are a few weight loss challenges going on here at the moment. Perhaps signing up to one of them will give you incentive to stick to your weight loss plans.

cheers,
Ali
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby pobox867 » Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:39 pm

Hello
I've done this road before very successfully... I learnt alot from having a book called "The lazy girl's guide to losing weight and getting fit" by AJ Rochester. It helped me to stop 'dieting' and learn to make healthy food choices without the pain of feeling deprived. I'm book-mad! I need them for inspiration. MAybe this book could work for you? I bought mine a few years ago and it really helped me.
Just a thought?
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby B'sgirl » Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:40 am

Rach! :D

It's good to see you back! I have just returned also after a long absence.

I know it's difficult to 'get motivated'. I too struggled for months to just "get on my bike" & slowly start back into it. In this time I managed to put on about 10kgs! So I was right back where I had started. :cry: :oops: Then one day I just forced myself to. I only did 10 mins but it was a start. Then the next day I forced myself (& I mean FORCED! LOL!) to do another 10 mins, then another 10 the next day & so on. I knew that by doing this, by getting through the intial first week, it would soon become habit & I would WANT to do it. I know you've probably heard it all before but just take it a day at a time, or one meal at a time. You'll get there hun, take your puppy out for a walk, even if it's just around the block.

As with the eating side of things, maybe do as Ali said & join a support weightloss group if you feel that you need structure. I'm currently following a "shake" program to help kickstart my loss then I plan to switch to a low GI plan later on. Maybe a 'shake' plan could help you kickstart? There is soooo many of them out there nowadays! Would your hubby consider losing weight with you? Maybe you could join something together?

Whatever you choose hun remember that we're here to help & get your butt into gear. :wink:

I hope you will stick around Rach, just jump on here when you're feeling in need of some support. ((HUGS)) to you,

Hayley
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CW-90.4
GW-60KGS


DEC '07-59KGS
SIZE 10
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby Czarina » Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:44 am

Welcome back, Rachel! We all have our set backs, I'm sure you'll get there this time! :D
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby Booties » Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:40 pm

Thanks everyone :)

I haven't been on the past day or so probably because i wanted to hide :p I didn't have a very good food day yesterday BUT i did have a good exercise day.

I was eating well yesterday till i ate heaps of salty peanuts!!! (i started using PMS for my excuse, but really, it was all me)

Ok so moving on from my mistakes, and on to something I am proud of.

I did 20mins on the exercise bike WHILE toning using weights for my arms (maybe 1kg ones).

THEN my brother came over and got me to go on a 30min walk with him which felt awesome!

Today I got a doc appointment and i was going to walk the whole way there and back, but i need to get 18kg of dog food, and i don't think i can carry that, for 30mins of walking :p So instead I am driving to the pet shop, and then walking from there :)

I like walking!!!

Today i am going to focus more on my eating and force myself to do at least 10mins on the bike!!! As said earlier, even if i do only 10mins a day for now, it shall form a habit and i will enjoy it.

Foodwise hubby and i have been making meals and dividing them by 4 or so. This makes for smaller serving sizes and we have lunches for the next day.

Shall go record my food intake for today now :)

Chow! shall check back later
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** I will be 70 kgs by Christmas 2009 **

RACHEL CAN DOOOO IT!!!
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby B'sgirl » Wed Aug 19, 2009 7:50 pm

That's great Rach! Baby steps hun, baby steps! It will start to form into a habit soon enough & I'm glad you've got your hubby in on it too as that makes for extra motivation! :D Yay for your bro too, taking you for a walk!

Good to see that you're hanging in there hun,

Take care,

Hayley
SW-90.4KGS
CW-90.4
GW-60KGS


DEC '07-59KGS
SIZE 10
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby Booties » Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:23 pm

So i failed today!

I didn't do a workout BUT i did do a walk. It was only a short one, but i did it fast (was in a hurry). I am really loving walking. I think i should do it more often, and do bush walking too!

For dinner, I failed heaps. I had 2 thats right 2 home made burgers! And I feel sick and full and yuck. Why oh why couldn't i just have the 1!!! I always make the same mistake. I always have 2 and then think man i should have had 1.

Help!

I am a tad down about my failures. But tomorrow is another day right? we ain't all perfect, and sometimes you have to make mistakes to do things correct.

Peace Out Bro!
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** I will be 70 kgs by Christmas 2009 **

RACHEL CAN DOOOO IT!!!
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby Czarina » Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:46 am

I had three burritos the other night, when I should have stopped at two...it happens to all of us sometimes! The next day I went on a 5km walk and didn't eat my exercise calories back, and I feel much better! :D
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby Booties » Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:24 am

Today is a new day!

I will not eat anything between my meal times (breakfast, snack 10am, lunch, snack 3pm, dinner)

I will do my 20mins on the bike using dumbbells for toning.

I will drink 6 glasses of water.
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** I will be 70 kgs by Christmas 2009 **

RACHEL CAN DOOOO IT!!!
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby Amethyst » Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:54 am

I don't think it's failing. We all make mistakes especialy in weightloss. We're human after all. So you're right tomorrow is another day. I just don't think you should think of it as failing. When scientists don't get the result they want they don't call it failing...

It's good you love walking. It's so much fun.
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby Booties » Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:34 pm

YEAH!! I did it!!

I worked out and do you wanna know the statement that made me do it? My husband said "aww i am gunna just work out tonight" now i knew that if we waited till tonight, I wouldnt do it and he wouldnt do it. So i told him "NO we work out now!!!". And we did.

I did 20mins on the bike while doing dumbbell toning for 10mins. I pushed myself. I lifted till my arms burned. I pedaled till my legs felt like they would fall off. I got my heart rate, at one point up to 153 which is good! I feel awesome. The last 5mins was the hardest. But i put the image of a skinnier, healthier, fitter me in my head and nothing was going to stop me. Goals and seeing them in your mind, is an amazing thing. It is the ammo I need to do this. I will never work out without that.

I know I can do this. I will be 70kgs on 25th December 2009. I will be happy and I will be gorgeous. I will be fitter and thinner. I will be healthy and optimistic.

My final goal is between 60 and 65gs. But to be 70 is a huge thing for me. I am very motivated and I will reach that.

Peace Out Bro!
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** I will be 70 kgs by Christmas 2009 **

RACHEL CAN DOOOO IT!!!
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Re: I don't want to be fat anymore

Postby Booties » Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:38 am

Arg once again I made a mistake and i know its my fault cos no one can make you do anything, but i partly blame my husband. He is always changing the diet we are doing, or the foods we are eating and it really annoys me and he keeps saying 'tomorrow we start to not eat these kinds of things so this is our last meal'' etc. IT SUCKS!!!

I had 8 pieces of home made pizza. There I said it. One of them was made with nearly 600g of mince, cooked in butter!!! Real butter!!! AHHHHH

I have worked out 2 times this week, i wanted it to be every day, but its hard to gain focus you didnt have. I am getting there. I will be working out tomorrow.

I am going to try even more to work out EVERY DAY!!!!

I love the feeling after pushing myself and reaching the goal (end of workout time). I feel awesome and like I can accomplish anything. I want this to be my drug!

I look forward to tomorrows workout.

This is the last time I give in.

Peace Out
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RACHEL CAN DOOOO IT!!!
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