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Kiera - self destruct mode!

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Kiera - self destruct mode!

Postby Bean » Sat Feb 20, 2010 2:20 pm

Hi all

I'm Kiera, 18 yo self pitying dickhead. Aren't we all as adolescence?

Everyone in my family's rather big. Dad's side is... well they put Fat censored to shame. And Mum's side is just pure narcissism lol. I was a binge eater til around 15 when stopped trying to lose weight which in turn made me lose weight because I wasn't thinking about food all the time. I also started ice skating, the only sport I ever excelled at. My social life picked up, I lost more weight. It was great... then I moved. No friends means I ate more, no skating means I don't do much. I dropped out of school, lost all drive and got depressed. I got rushed to hospital for appendicitis, I was only in for 3 days but I was on painkillers that suppressed my appetite, I remember coming home and seeing the meals Mum used to make for me, just for dinner and thought 'F**k that'd last me a week in this state'. Because of that kick start, (also testing myself to see if I could walk long distances without feeling the scars) I went from 112k down to 95. I looked amazing lol... however that didn't last once I dropped out of school. I am now the process of picking myself up again. So now I'm the smiley, bubbly and generally not as much of a blunt censored (I got told I had a personality closely resembling Greggory House only not as smart) as I was before, smile and people smile back.

So the amount food is my issue. I eat healthily, always have, I have a great blood pressure and cholesterol reading. I just eat a lot. I go through stages where I can distract myself from food often enough to lose anywhere between 4 and 15 kilo. I fluctuate, a lot. At the moment I'm back up to 107.5 kilo with a BMI of 35 which apparently puts me in the 'severely obese' category. But fortunately I carry it well, I still have hips and no rolls just cellulite and all over big...ness. Mum's taken me to the docs numerous times but she won't discuss much with me in the way of weight loss until I reach a BMI of 40... which scares the hell out of me. I'm not self conscious at all. I still wear bikinis to the beach/pool or whatever (believe it or not girls if you wear a t shirt and board shorts you look much bigger).

Unemployed, uneducated, unemployed, struggling to focus but still smiling! I hope by writing this I can stick to some kind of agreement with myself to just improve. The rest seems to come with it :D
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me n b bikini.jpg
Me on the left :P
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Bean
 

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