well it has been a bit of an up and down first week! After thinking that my start weight was 250lbs I was weighed by my doctor at my physical and it turns out that I was actually 256lbs
Wow was I embarrassed....
On the plus side, it means that I know exactly how big I let myself get and have a clearer picture of all the facts. But still it hurt!
My weigh in this week was great and I have lost 10lbs! I am now down to 246lbs. I have a longgggg way to go but it is a really good start and im pleased that my efforts are paying off
I have been control of my clas and portions and trying to exercise whenever I can. My target for week one was to hit 112 kg (247lbs) so i smashed it! even tho i was initially heavier than i thought
I have been really thinking about what it will mean to me to be thin. I dont want to get super skinny or anything (im def not designed for that) but I just want to feel confident in clothes, and to know that I can walk into any shop and know that the clothes will fit me. If i could get down to an Aus size 14 i would be happy. At the moment I am an Aus 18-20 and i have to shop in the plus size sections or in places like city chic and mysize. These shops are great but i want more variety and choice. I used to be a real fashion lover but i think that as i grew bigger i knew i looked ridiculous and just stopped trying.
This weekend i went out with all the girls and i was easily the largest one there (by a long shot) They all looked fantastic and i know that i looked awful compared to them. Of course the pics taken were on facebook the next day and i had to untag myself from so many because i was so embarrassed. They all had at least a few guys interested in them, and i had nothing but odd looks and worst of all....the pity looks and looks of disgust from other girls
I dont even want guys to come onto me (im happily married!) but it would be nice to know that I look good or at least that I dont look revolting.
I know that i am being very vain and selfish but it has finally got to the point where i cant stand it anymore. Excellent motivation to keep going!