How do I say it, I have been Fat most my life…. I can sit here and blame dozens of people and environments, and have done so for years. I recently had to think, how do those situations affect me now?
The answer is. They don’t. I am an adult and have been for 20+ years. I use food for stress relief, I use it for pleasure, I use it as cheap entertainment. Not to mention for sustenance. The people who in the past I blamed don’t care if I am well or not. The people around me now do though, and it is them who I am now punishing.
I have tried diets, lose some weight, then I subconsciously put it back on like I do not want to lose it. I have got a complement, then ate more so I could go back into a shell.
I have fluxuated between 125kg and 117 kg for as long as I remember. My Robe looks like a store, with different sized clothing in order. I have even bought clothes that don’t fit me thinking that it would motivate me but it simply doesn’t.
I am intelligent and very organised and efficient in my working life. I am one of the most pedantic people most people know, and get the best out of everyone I am around. The only part of me that falters is my physical appearance and health.
Why is this time different…
Well simply, enough is enough! I am looking at what I have, not what I haven’t. I am going to live for the now, I need to do more with my kids, my wife, and those that I love around me. I have started a diet where they do the food for me, so the nibbling, the seconds, the worry about the waste of food from other’s plates is not my concern. This will get the weight off, but It will not teach me the habits of self control. That will be the second step after the weight is off.
Getting past the mental road blocks is the far more important step for me, than the ability to take the skin of a piece of chicken. (don’t worry, I will need help in that step as well )
I am going to give to charity the clothes that are too big for me as I grow out of them. Not wasting money is a big part of my life, and doing this will help me stay in the right frame of mind.
Thank you Forum for letting me share my thoughts. It is my first post on any forum and is very empowering.
Started 16 March 2011: 122.8
23 March 2011: 120.7 (-2.1)