Hey I am new to this and i find reading blogs helpful and i love hearing peoples stories. I want to blog so that i can get things off my chest. so here it goes.
Today i would like to blog about starting Duromine.
I currently weigh 101.5kgs and i am at my fattest that i have ever been before. i really don’t like it because it makes me feel horrible. I have tried almost everything, and eat kind of healthy and exercise a lot at the gym when i can afford it.
Il tell my history before i go into it.
I grew up with my mum and my sister in a less off area and my mum suffered depression for a lot of my childhood. she did the best she could though. I hated my dad from the age of eight (only last year when i was 22 i got in contact with him again) and my sister and i were kind of close. i don’t remember much from my childhood.
my mum and my sister are both twigs, my sister has self confidence issues now and hates her body, feeling like she has no boobs because she weighs 45kgs and she has been in an abusive relationship and suffered anorexia and was often hospitalized from her (then) partner. My mum is now raising 2 kids aged 6 and 8 on her own again and suffers depression and anxiety because off the loss of my step dad who died almost 4 years ago (hospital in the wrong not treating him right and he died of phenomenological meningitis, however you spell it)
All through high school i was compaired to my “hot sister” and that made me envy her. i was always bigger then her and not as pretty. in year 11 i was not eating my lunch and recess and drinking a lot of water and only really eating dinner at home because my step dad wouldn’t let me not eat it, i started loosing weight but didn’t realise i was.Halfway through year 11 all i was eating was celery and drinking water.
By year 12 i got to 55kgs and i still thought i was 80kgs. all i would eat was celery and drink water and if i went out for dinner i would skim and say that i had had a big lunch. so thinking back to it i had an eating disorder. i think that it has stuffed my body up a bit because i now have really bad reflux and find it hard to loose weight.
in year 12 i got my first love. his name was Andrew. i would walk all the way from school to my house (45minute to an hr) just so that i could walk halfway to his house with him. once we started dating i would go to his house after school and have dinner there, so i was eating more and not walking as much, and i also started the pill because i was having really bad ‘monthly’ pains.
I wasn’t concentrating on school and i dropped out to work at McDonald’s full time. the weight piled on because of the pill and the next year i attempted to do year 12 again, still with Andrew. it was then, when a Sudanese guy motioned to andrew that i had gone from small to big. and soon after that, a year and a half into our relationship, andrew broke up with me, one of the reasons was because i had become fat and he wasnt attracted in me any more.
that sent me spiraling into years of letting myself get used and using guys. sleeping with guys because that was all i was good for in my mind.
so that made me feel a lot of disrespect for myself and i haven’t fully gotten over the the hatred of myself. also resorting to bullemia.
so now, in 2012, i am with the guy who i love so much. iv had boyfriends who have come and gone but none that i have loved and i have a massive history of going back to one ex for 3 years after breaking up (Nathan is his name). he is out of my life now, but i still have a feeling on the bottom of my stomach that if things were to go wrong with my Lukey boy that i would fall back into my old ways. and i dont want that and i dont welcome that thought into my head.
Iv known Luke since i was like 16 so from 2005ish. he was a friend of my friend and iv always had a crush on him. we have been together for just over 7 months and i really do believe he is the one. we have had our ups and downs and almost broken up once but we know that we really do have a future together.
I struggle with my emotions. i get way too emotional way too easily. when i was on the pill i found that my emotions sky rocketed. so i don’t take the pill any more.
I’m in the current process of finding out why i get such bad ‘monthlys’ as well. i have to have a blood test on day 21 of my cycle to see if im ovulating every month too. one of my deepest fears is that i would not be able to have children.
OK so on the topic i want to talk about, Duromine.
Phentermine (duromine) is a prescription dietary aid intended for short term use by people who are seriously overweight or obese, according to the Mayo Clinic. Duromine is meant to be used in combination with physical activity and a medically supervised weight loss plan. Phentermine curbs hunger by directly impacting the part of the brain that’s in charge of your appetite.
Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/28279 ... z20YC443Wu
i am on day one of it and it is a speed based drug. it has to be taken early in the day so that it doesn’t play up with your sleep at night and its supposed to make me not hungry, but able me to eat 3 meals a day. its a short term thing. helping me to eat healthier and my stomach should shrink by the time i have to come off of it. it also gives more energy so that i can exercise more.
so i took it at 6am today. came out to the lounge room and watched some TV and then fell asleep after eating nutrigrain for breakfast and woke up an hour later and i noticed my heart beating alil fast for a minute but then it settled. and now i have heaps of energy and generally happy. and its only 9.40am.
i want to blog my process on Duromine so that i can monitor my process and journey. there are a lot of possible side effects listed so i want to note how im feeling and all that in my posts. dry mouth is a common one and can be fixed with water but i want to make sure that i dont get more emotional or sad whilst using it. i also want to monitor my weight loss progress i have to go back to my doctors in two weeks so she can monitor my progress too.
i have high hopes for this. I’m sick of being stressed about my weight and if i can get that in order then i feel i can get the rest of my life in order. as i am currently applying a letter of hardship for my super fund to be paid to me so i can afford to pay all my debts and get ahead in money issues.
i feel if i can do this i can get my life back on track.
i have my Luke but i need to be able to have me. love myself and be happy with myself. i believe that if i am happier in myself it reflects on the rest of my life and will make my self confidence and self esteem issues improve and make my life and the people around me more happier.
Thank you for reading my long first post. i feel it has gotten a lot off my chest to be able to share the first part of my story.
ok so yesturday was my first day on duromine and i found that i had moments of energy bursts and also moments of tiredness, but the energy was definantly the winner of the two. i found i wasnt hungry, and when i got my food i was only eating little amounts of it.
i went to a games night at my bfs aunties and didnt get home til 1.45am. i was over tired but i couldnt get to sleep until after 3 because i had too much energy and my brain was just thinking and thinking.
i then had to wake up at 6am to take my tablet for day 2.
i found myself really tired today. but buzzing with energy. not really interested in eating food but still managed to eat.
nutragrain and milk for breaky
orange for a snack
1/2 a cup of cup of soup for lunch
a banana for a snack
and 4 hot chips and half a corn jack for dinner.
two cups of tea (one green tea and other normal tea with no milk or sugar) and numerous glasses of water.
i know i shouldn’t eat the 1/2 corn jack and 4 chips for dinner but i had no other option because i was at my bfs parents place and they got takeout dinner.
i have noticed that i am more inclined to think about what i am putting in my body. i said to my bf today that i feel happy that i can go to places that i would be tempted to eat heaps of and not feel like eating them. that was the same as last night when my bfs aunt offered chips, chocolate and cake to me. i felt more then happy to say no
the only side effects that i have felt are the not sleeping much last night and tiredness today and a mid afternoon energy boost. i also have a slight headache but i am assuming its just my body getting used to the drug. and i usually get headaches anyway. i also have slight slight slight dry lips.
i have a mind set that this is going to work. i really hope it does.
i haven’t done much exercise at all in the 2 days but i just wanted to see how i reacted before pushing myself too far. tomorrow morning at 7am i am planning to go for a long walk, attempting even to try a little run.
ill keep posting my journey. haven’t weighed myself since my starting weight 13/7/12 of 101.5kgs, my heaviest ever. i want to eventually get down to 65ish give or take a few kgs but i really want this.
Day 3 16-7-12
ok so today is my third day. i got to sleep pretty quick at midnight (i usually stay up alil late anyway) and i have woken up at 6am REALLY easy. my alarm went off and i was streight out of bed, took my tablet and i feel quite refreshed. i feel like i will have energy today. planning on going for a walk alone this morning and then tonight go for a walk with a friend.
does anyone have any tips or anything to help me in my journey?