Play it again Sam ...

[feebeejay]

Thanks Kim, Happy Easter to you and your family

I've been a little bit naughty today, but will make up for it tomorrow. I did have a couple of hot cross buns since Friday, with a 50% fat free butter/spread that is half the normal calories, so I figured that was better than regular butter. As far as the easter egg count goes, I had one little peppermint filled one yesterday, and one the size of a normal egg today, but in the scheme of things, and in comparison to what I might normally have at easter time, i think i've done ok!! I haven't really counted up my calories today, but i'm hoping i haven't gone too far over, we had sausages for lunch, which are not normally something i would eat, but we were at family bbq ... stir fry & noodles for dinner, plus the easter bun, so i might have to be on apples and soup tomorrow, lol

I still haven't really been planning much around the exercise, but today we had a bit of fun with my hubby's sister & family, painting hard boiled eggs, and having an egg rolling competition!! apparently it is a family tradition that my sister-in-law has maintained with her young children, and we all had so much fun. Believe it or not, my egg was a winner!! survived the 'roll' three times and made it the furthest!! beginners luck I reckon. but lots of fun. Afterwards, my hubby and I checked out fitbit readings, and we had a whole 4 'active minutes' out of the hour or so we were rolling eggs and running around on the hill, we thought that was hilarious, and think maybe our gadgets need calibrating, lol!!

anyway, my battery is about to run out on the laptop, so I better run, happy easter everyone, have a great week ahead,
cheers
fee

[Blitz]

It's all about moderation and living a healthy normal life as well...and it sounds like you are doing that.

When in doubt about your consumption...try to sneak in some extra exercise to cover your bases. I don't count calories as such but if I believe I may have over indulged in a meal I will just do a little bit extra. That way there are no nasty surprise when I do get to the scales.

Sounds like you had a heap of fun and quality family time (and moving about too) this Easter...all good stuff!

Kim

[feebeejay]

aaahh - what a busy week it's been, wish I could spend a bit more time at home doing lovely crafty/creative things, but alas, work beckons, lol!!

Update on my weigh-in this week, I've lost another 400g (have now hit 24% of my ultimate goal), and it's becoming more and more clear to me that I really do need to do some intentional exercise!! I really have been thinking about it, but not quite put in enough effort to actually DO anything! I have tried to include more incidental exercise, by actively walking up and down the stairs at work instead of using the phone to talk to my colleagues, but unless I'm going to do that all day, that's really not going to be terribly effective! (and I wouldn't get much work done, lol)

usually at lunch time on work days, I take something from home (so I'm not tempted to buy greasy or take-away food) but I am going to really try tomorrow to go out and walk somewhere - even if it is just to the park (which is about 500m away) and prepare a sandwich or something I can eat without needing to re-heat ... just.need.to.make.the.effort!!!!

given the temptations over easter (hot cross buns mostly), I think I did ok, but I think because I have been doing this now for a while (188 days to be exact), I am beginning to feel more tempted by things I haven't really eaten in a while. Today at lunchtime (while I was waiting for my weight watchers frozen meal to heat up in the microwave) I rummaged around in the pantry cupboard in the work kitchen and found some savoy biscuits, so I proceeded to have some, and some more, and some more!! I even put butter on a couple of them - where does that thinking come from??? after all I have done, and then I go and do something like that, that was really just very silly. I think next time I just need to tell myself out loud, Fiona, step away from the cupboard!! It was like I was being a little sneaky kid eating out of the cupboard, when I knew that it was really just me I have to answer to! Good thing I have soup prepared already for our evening meal, so hopefully I can keep portion size in control (and calories in check).

hoping I won't be tempted by anything else today
cheers
fee

[Blitz]

yeah...there comes a point in the weigh loss journey where it gradually dawns upon us that we have to lift our butts off the couch and intentionally exercise for the sake of just losing more weight. Eating right and incidental exercise isn't enough.

Start slow...push but don't break yourself. You will be surprised just how quickly you will get fit. A few months from now, what you are starting to do will be laughable to you compared to what you will be able to do! Keep at it - and it actually becomes fun (I know - I know - you can't imagine it now...but it will be! )

Get your nose out of the cupboard! That's not yours! This is the mindset that you have to build...
When I was losing weight (and even now in maintenance), my fridge and kitchen cupboards contained food that were nice, yummy and not very helpful to eat if I wanted to lose weight (or remain slim). After all...my wife or my daughter didn't get to be my whopping 153.7kgs so why should they miss out on that stuff. I never touched any of that stuff...ever.

I built into my thinking a set of ideas that helped me in this area.

Firstly, who's food was it? It wasn't bought for me to eat. It simply wasn't mine. If I had it - then that is a plain case of theft!

Secondly, I told myself that I had eaten my quota of that food already. By that I mean that a normal regular person would eat X amount of biscuits in a life time. Me, being an overweight person without a doubt had already reached that X amount and most probable eaten over that amount. So the upshot is that I'm not missing out on food that other people are allowed to eat - it just is that I've had my life's fair share of it already!

Thirdly; it is a question of integrity...of character. That is not the person who I am any more. I've changed...I'm not that fat guts any more - I'm a healthy guy who makes healthy choices. If I do eat junk then I betray all that I've become and am. I sell my soul for morsel - that price is too high!

Hope this is helpful to you
Kim

[feebeejay]

Hi Kim, yes that is helpful, the way you have put all that into perspective is great! And yes, I've also told myself that I've used up my lifetimes quota on junk that now I'm having to grow up and be 'normal' whatever that means!!

I was really pleased with myself today, I had a day out with my sisters which involved lunching in a cafe with lots of yummy things, so I chose something that I would enjoy, something that I would rarely eat at home, and kept it simple. I had a sourdough toasty, which, yes, did involve cheese and butter, but one of the reasons I chose it was because it had ingredients that I could pretty much predict and understand, as opposed to pastry type items.

They also had these amazing cakes/desserts, which surprisingly enough I got a lot of enjoyment out of just looking at and imagining what they might taste like, and ended up buying a gigantic chocolate chip cookie for my absent hubby (which I just simply don't eat) and I felt good that I was sharing the love so to speak, but not actually putting anything I didn't need into my mouth!! I was also offered chocolate eggs later in the day, which I refused all in all, it was a good day!!

Exercise wise, we all walked around this little township and to the lookout, but not a whole lot of exercise really (but more than I would have had if I had stayed at home) ... tomorrow, I will be walking a bit more too, so starting small, and maybe a bit of a spin on the exercise bike when we get home as well, small steps...

Hoping to experiment a bit more with my thermomix tomorrow, and get some healthy food cooking and prepare for the week ahead. It is also hubby's birthday on Monday so another challenge, but we are planning a brunch/lunch at our favourite cafe, they do all day brekky that my hubby loves, but I'm sure they have other stuff on the menu that will tick all the boxes I need for my choices.

Every day can be a challenge, but I'm trying to recreate what 'normal' looks like, and just be sensible!! Anyway, I'll keep you posted, thanks for your ongoing support, cheers, fee

[Blitz]

You are doing good. Work that "normal" healthy lifestyle and you will win out!

When I go to a coffee shop I look at all the cakes and biscuits too. The game I play is - which of these lovingly things would do me the least damage and which one of them would do me the most! Then I try to figure out how long would I have to work out on my exercise bike to burn it off!...that cold hard fact puts all that pretty food into perspective!

Kim

[feebeejay]

... Had a bit of a skim over some of my previous posts, and where i was last time was at the bottom of the Yo-Yo, now I am quite firmly back at the top of the Yo-Yo!!! I can't believe I have done this to myself AGAIN!! oh well, back on the horse I guess, new year, I won't say new resolution, because it isn't, but I seriously need to get my head around this stuff and life my life better!!

I've been listening to some motivational podcasts about healthy eating/lifestyles etc and it has reminded me that I 'know' a lot of this stuff, but yet I continue to block it out and not listen, or at least, not practice what I know. So... here I am again and I am going to try to take one day at a time! The last time I posted on here I had almost reached 25% of my ultimate goal to be back at 75kg, (which equated to about 12kg or something) and I was going so well, and so now here I am again, having put all of that weight back on, and trying to work out what happened. Well, I know what happened, I stopped doing what I needed to do to continue and make it work, and I need to make myself accountable to ME, not to anyone else!!!

So, while Ideally I'd like to aim for 75kg, I'm going to set myself some mini goals and see if I can get that to work for me this time!! I know that the first couple of kgs will be challenging because I have to re-set everything in my head that I have been doing for the last few months, but once I get that first 5kg's done I know i'll be on track.

I also have another goal, which has a bit of a back story and is a bit embarrassing, but one that many obese people can relate to, I'm sure (Oh God, I hope it's not just ME!!!). The last time I travelled on an airplane was November. I flew from Tassie to Qld to visit one of my oldest friends (and I mean length of time i have known her, not that she is really old, LOL) and I was uber excited!!! I boarded the plane and I found my seat - a window seat, and there were two ladies already in their seats, so of course, they had to get out, so I could get in - the younger woman (in her late 20's or so) had this look of absolute disgust on her face when she looked at me, and she moved from the centre seat to the aisle, with the older woman (say in her 50's or so) sitting next to me. I could tell by their demeanour and the snippets of conversation I heard, that they did not like sitting next to a fat person. SO I squished myself up against the window and felt sooo guilty about being fat (for the next 3 hours!!) and THEN, the flight attendant walked down the aisle checking that people had their safety belts on before take-off, which I did. She kind of nodded to me as if to ask "is it done up" so I gave her a nod in return and thought nothing of it, until a moment later she re-appeared with a safety belt extender!!! WTF!!! Clearly her nod must have meant 'do you need an extender belt?" I felt SOoooooo embarrassed, I didn't know what I should do, as she gave it to me and then continued on her way - so I just kind of popped it in the back of the seat pocket where it sat as a reminder of how fat I am, for the rest of the trip!! Once I arrived at my destination, I kind of brushed it off, but it really hurt (have never even told my husband) - and the only person to blame is myself!! I have done this to myself, and continue to be responsible for what I stuff into my face, and really have to think about what I am doing to myself. well, not just think about it, I need to take action and I need to take it now!!!

Today I was invited to a BBQ of a new friend who I met from discussing lap band surgery at a garage sale of all things, where I bought some plus size clothing ... funny how serendipity steps in every now and then. She shared with me her lap-band journey, and has actually lost more than 60kg's over the past couple of years (with maybe another 20-30 to go?), but re-iterated what everyone I have spoken to about this, is that it is not easy, and still need to get our heads around the process and how it is different for everyone, but in a way, it's kind of the same because we are all dealing with similar challenges. So ... on the way to the BBQ I was listening to the motivational podcast and decided that today is the day, so I've bought a new Calorie Counter book (2015) and a food diary so I am going to do it right this time, and do all the measurements and everything so I can track it all right from the start!! It feels a bit 'deja-vu' but here I go again...!!!!! Oh, and I made healthy choices for the BBQ - Chicken kebabs (2 only) + salad + soda water for a drink, so I felt good about that - I did not have any chips, cabana or dip which was set out on the table, and didn't really think about it (well, until now perhaps), thankfully, there was no cake on offer, but I think I probably would have declined that also.

So ... I have to travel to Melbourne in about 8 weeks time - ideally I'd like to have lost at least 8kg by then - so I know the safety belt will fit!!! I KNOW I can do it, I HAVE done it before, I just need to do what I have to do, and continue to do it! With all things being equal, there really is no reason why I can't get back to that goal of 75kg in 12 months time, I just have to set my mind to it and get on with it ... so like setting the dial on the DeLorean (time machine in Back To The Future) I am setting my goal for Australia Day 2016, to lose approx 45kg, and be a fitter and healthier person, with much smaller clothes!!!

I really want to write 'Wish me luck" but I have to accept that luck has nothing to do with it, there is no quick fix, it's hard work and challenges up ahead me hearties ... and the voice inside me says "Just Do It!!!!"

fee

[DD Diva]

Hi Fee,
Don't worry about the aeroplane incident, you're not alone! Though that hasn't happened, I have found myself looked at by the skinny person next to me and spent hours pressed up to the window in fear of spilling over anymore than I already was!
Use the incident as a reminder and driving force to making some real changes and ensure such events never happen again!
You can do it!!! If someone as weak willed as I can, anyone can!!!

[feebeejay]

Thank you for the encouragement, it is much appreciated. I think one of the main feelings I felt, was disappointment, in myself, and just questioning how I got to be at that point. I have been making excuses for myself for so long, I have become a victim of my own abuse. I'd love to say I'm confident that I won't fall into the same traps, but I can usually maintain the momentum for about 3-4 months and then I start getting a big head and thinking how fabulous I am because I'm seeing results, and end up sabotaging myself. I really want to get past that this time. In the past I have declared that I would go easy on myself and do it slowly, and I've dropped the ball every single time. This time the food diary I have purchased has a whole 12 month plan in it, and I am challenging myself to write in that damn book every single day until all the spaces are filled. You know, I almost hesitated in buying the book because the old 12 week style one wasn't in the store, and in my head I was telling myself that I couldn't keep this thing going for 12 months, then I thought that I could just download some sheets from the web and do it that way, or just write in a regular notebook - I ended up giving myself a stern talking to there in the newsagent, I wouldn't think twice about spending the $$ on KFC or chips/twisties, so why was it such a big deal to Invest in 12 months worth of commitment for $10 bucks??? when you think about it, it's a bargain!! I know that's only the beginning, but I am going to give this another try ...
cheers
fee

[DD Diva]

I almost hesitated in buying the book because the old 12 week style one wasn't in the store, and in my head I was telling myself that I couldn't keep this thing going for 12 months, then I thought that I could just download some sheets from the web and do it that way, or just write in a regular notebook - I ended up giving myself a stern talking to there in the newsagent, I wouldn't think twice about spending the $$ on KFC or chips/twisties, so why was it such a big deal to Invest in 12 months worth of commitment for $10 bucks??? when you think about it, it's a bargain!! I know that's only the beginning, but I am going to give this another try ...
cheers
fee

Your sabotage tendency is more about your reluctance to making a long term commitment than it is about becoming cocky!!! People who succeed don't sabotage themselves to fail, that only happens if they set out believing that the journey is a temporary one, which it's not! It is and has to be for life but unfortunately for most people once that reality hits home, panic, fear, doubt and frustration set in and next thing you know the backward spiral starts until they're back to where they started (if they're lucky) but usually they end up a lot worse off, they end up being even heavier!!!

If you want to lies weight you need to start with hour head first, and the body will soon follow!!!

[DD Diva]

Grrrr.....bloody auto correct!!

That's meant to read....

If you want to lose weight you need to start with your head first

[feebeejay]

I am hearing you for sure, it has been a lifelong struggle to get my head around it all, and even when I thought I did, I proved myself wrong, but it am really going to try to get it right from here on in. Today I set up my food diary and started planning my approach based on the directions from the dietitian I saw last year. I'm a bit slow, but hopefully it will all fall into place this time, lol!!

I know I didn't eat as much today as I should have, but figured it was a good kick start to be a bit light on today, (a tiny bit under 1200 calories today). Tomorrow should be pretty easy as I'm at work all day, and busy after work, so if I plan it properly there shouldn't be any times where I can veer off track. Many years ago I had a stint at one of those commercial weight loss companies, and I was planning my own meals / menus based on calorie count and number of portions per food group, so I'm planning to do something similar so I can plan ahead of time, instead of reaching a point where I act impulsively because I haven't thought it through. If I spend some time thinking about it in advance, then i shouldn't get too caught out (hopefully).
Cheers, fee

[Tams]

Its a great plan to plan out your food! And it's also time-saving (although more mental strength needed to be organised and sit down to plan). It makes you feel quite secure also having the thoughts 'I'm going to have that, and then i can have that, and then that' rather than a constant message of 'can't'.

I've just made myself get off my bum and cook for tomorrow, because I know I wont have a lot of time

[feebeejay]

Haven't managed to do my meal plans yet, but definitely will this weekend if not before, seems to be sooo busy this week. Well, have made some small progress I think, I cooked up some meat to go with salads this morning, thinking I was doing really well, had some fresh mince that I cooked up with some egg and flavouring in to a kind of gigantic hamburger that I then cut into portions, thought I was onto something here, they were so tasty, THEN as I was calculating the calories this evening, realised that there were way more calories than I'd anticipated because I'd forgotten about the fat content of mince - der ... Because we purchased meat from a local farmer and was there when they were cutting the beast up, they were pretty good with taking off most of the fat, so I'd guess it was lean mince, and there wasn't really much residue in the griddle after cooking, so I'm using the number from the calorie book as a worst case scenario - which gives me a bit of a buffer in case the book was wrong, but still covers me in case the book was right.
Still after everything I was still on track with calories so pretty good, and getting better at balancing the protein/carb/fat content - although because of the mince today my fat content ended up being closer to 40% than 30% as per my plan! but oh well! still really only day 3 and I've not reached my 1800 cals on either of the last 2 days (closer to 1200), so in the scheme of things, it will balance out over the week.
Went to the local 24/7 gym today (not sure if I can mention the name, but won't just in case) and made enquiries about membership, hubby is also interested, so that would be great if we both went. So looking at the logistics affordability etc to see if I can work it in.

On the way home tonight after being told a brief story about a donut, I couldn't get that thought out of my head, and was tempted to go the the shop to get one! After contemplating for a few minutes, I decided it was a stupid idea and kept on driving, resolving to get in to the supermarket first thing in the morning to restock on salad stuff so I have lunch organised, and not to go anywhere near the donut or naughty food sections

All in all, a good day
Fee

[feebeejay]

Have had a relatively good week, ended up with a 1.2kg loss for the first week, which was really good in the scheme of things. With the shift to being conscious of the impact of protein vs carbs, I ended up barely eating my set menu limit of 1800 calories for the day - as I didn't want to jump in too much at the beginning and scare my poor old bod and think it's starving, lol!! But despite planning to get some exercise in, I just didn't manage it every day, for various reasons, something I'm going to need to work on more in the weeks to come. This week is also a little out of whack, because I had a medical procedure yesterday which meant I needed to fast, which looked good on the scale this morning, but I know it is a false reading and will likely move on back up there once I replenish all the fluid etc I had to get rid of for the procedure. Oh well, short lived I guess, well maybe until next weeks weigh in hopefully!! So, this week, I set a limit of 1700 calories, and well, because of the fast, I haven't reached that either, but I think that is a good compromise for the next couple of weeks to get myself used to how this all works again. In the past I've just treated all calories the same and this time, I've really noticed the difference in calorie count (eg value for money if you like) between proteins and carbs, and boy, do I want to stay away from carbs!!! Well, within reason, you know. Today I had to fill in my food diary from yesterday and of course, hospital sandwiches are standard fare, it's very challenging to try to estimate the calorie count as you don't know how much butter they've put on there, whether the cheese is full fat, or low etc. I not only didn't really like the sandwiches (but was hungry so ate them) I also didn't like not knowing what was in them. I knew I wouldn't have gone over my calorie count for the day given that I was fasting for most of it, but when I added up the bread and other filling and ingredients that I thought made up healthy sandwiches, I was not happy. Today was also a light day, and so I kind of allowed myself to have carbs, knowing it would be a today only kind of special (again because I knew I wouldn't be reaching my calorie count). For dinner I had a frozen lasagne that I have had many times before, and when I worked out how many calories, was horrified that I used to eat these regularly, and various other carb loaded foods, as pretty much standard fare. So now, I'm trying to limit carbs to things like fruit and yoghurt etc, so it's more natural, well, not sure about the yoghurt because the one I have is very processed low fat one, but I was intrigued to discover that this particular brand of yoghurt also has protein content, who knew??? For those out there that did know, well done, just this little black duck who was out of the loop, lol!!!
So today wasn't big on movement, as I was resting, however, I might be able to do something about compensating for that tomorrow, a few extra times up and down the stairs at work perhaps?? Tomorrow will be slightly challenging, one of my best girls has her hens night tomorrow night, and there are usually nibbles which I am soooo bad at controlling myself around, I think I'll have to load myself up with my low cal chewing gum and stay away from the table!! I've also just discovered a brand of beef jerky that is helpful for a mid afternoon snack as well, not too high in calories, and of course, protein based, so that's a good thing, and yes, I know about the sodium content, but as a snack is it better to choose something like that, or should I stay with a piece of fruit, natural carbs, but carbs all the same...?? Maybe in moderation perhaps, like everything else

I'll post up my numbers on Monday for the week, and hopefully there will be another loss,
Cheers, fee